TOUGH GOING - 3 WEEKS, 4 DAYS OLD

I really am trying to do blogging but it would seem that my evenings are going to be taken up with feeding, burping and changing. I can't type one handed so I'm just going to have to try and do some during the day, hence this entry which I'm manically trying to type out while Oscar is sleeping, Ellis is watching TV and Leo is in hospital with Daddy. Long story which will eventually be told.

So just to catch up, things are still manic at home. I'm recovering well but I have been over doing it recently and I'm achy and sore by the evening. I keep forgetting that I am recovering from surgery.

The health visitor phoned to arrange an appointment but then I had a further call a few days later to say that they had to rearrange it and it isn't until tomorrow now so I haven't seen anyone for ages now! I have no idea how heavy Oscar is.

So yes, he now has a name. Oscar Wallace, and we will be registering him tomorrow afternoon. I didn't force the issue with Rob, I just asked him to consider it and he said that I could have it. The middle name became an issue again but Rob eventually got bored of thinking about names so agreed Wallace too. I said if we have another baby, he can name it, unless it's a girl then I must have a say.

I'm working on my birth story and subsequent days in hospital but it's slow going and the entries are going to be massive!

I'm still rather large, 13st 2lbs yesterday and my normal weight is around 11st 7lbs so have a long way to go yet.

I managed to get my size 12 jeans on on Saturday. I really couldn't breathe, bend or sit down though and they wouldn't be comfortable to wear for a long time but it was a nice boost for me. That being said, my eating is terrible! I can't stop eating chocolate and cake etc. It's really not like me.

My hair hasn't started to fall out yet which is great and my bleeding stopped a couple of weeks ago which was really early I thought.

The scar is looking quite good. There is one area that hasn't healed yet but it's getting there. My belly is minging though and always will be.

I've put my wedding ring back on but it is still rather tight. Engagement ring will definitely not fit for a while yet. I'm not ready to diet or watch my eating. I just have too much on my mind to worry about it.

Rob went back to work, just for Thursday and Friday morning and my Mum came over to stay with us to help out, because I still can't lift Leo and I can't drive. It was great to have her here.

I slept on the sofa the night Mum was here. It actually worked really well as I didn't have to get in and out of bed to reach Oscar and I was really comfortable. I tried it Saturday night too but it don't go very well at all. Oscar just ate and ate and ate and wouldn't settle, not even on me. I think he may have been trying to increase my milk supply as I had none left on the night time but I have noticed that yesterday and today my boobs seem fuller. They will hopefully die down a bit soon.

Oscar is a very very windy baby and so I decided to give Infacol a go. It may do nothing but it makes me feel better that I'm doing something. He is screaming now because of wind and it makes things very tricky as in between feeds he doesn't really sleep soundly for any amount of time. It's still early days I know and I'm sure things will improve. You really do forget how hard the early days are.

Just having a newborn baby would be hard on it's own but we have Ellis and Leo too. The pressure has really been put on us recently with me having the section, Rob being ill, Leo and Ellis were ill then they got better, then when Mum was staying with me Ellis hurt his ankle and had to go to A&E then Leo fell from his stool and hit his head then started to be sick, so he went to A&E and has since been sick again so has gone back to A&E today! It all happens at once! Ellis is still limping away and running with his foot turned in, Rob is still at A&E as I type this but should shortly be coming home, I'm sore and achy from doing too much yesterday and today and Rob is struggling too. We seem to be quite up beat though considering everything.

I'm really not looking forward to Rob going back to work. It's going to be hard.

MUCUS - 39 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Went to see the midwife today and discussed through my options. I've decided against going for a vaginal breech delivery if his feet are first as too many risky factors, one being the cord, and the other being previous section. If he is bum first however I may think about it.

If I have a c-section this time then if we were to have another she said she is pretty certain that I would struggle to find someone who would let me try for a vaginal birth. That is a long way off, if ever but has to be considered.

BP, urine, measurements, baby's heart rate etc were all fine but I'm sure from the look on her face that she isn't sure where the baby is lying. Thank God for scans!

If the scan on Thursday shows no cord around the neck I may ask if they can do an ECV but I might just not bother and resign myself to a section. To be honest, this evening I've been packing my bags and getting everything ready like I am having one anyway and that is what I have been picturing in my head.

Still have so much to get ready but it isn't urgent. I want to make sure I have some clothes ready for Rob to bring in for me to come home in, need to wrap present to boys from Nugget, need to make packed lunches for Thursday and make sure I remember to take out Ellis' car seat so Sharon can take him to his swimming lesson. I also need to remember to take the pre op medication and not to eat or drink after either! I'm sure that is going to slip my mind.

This afternoon I went to Mum and Dad's house for a bit of TLC. Leo is quite hard to look after while there but he wasn't too bad today. He sat munching in the high chair quite a lot and enjoys playing on the ipad which is cute to watch. Ellis didn't stay asleep in the car but remained in front of the TV or ipad and was really good.

I'm still feeling really full of cold and I can't clear my sinuses. Coughing is an issue too. If I try to stop it it makes it worse but if I just cough then that is bad enough. I really hope that one more day of recovering will help it to go as I'm really worried about blowing out stitches by coughing!

Been treating my pile with no success and it hurts like hell. Going to be the least of my worries in a couple of days though.

I was sat next to Ellis this afternoon and I had a few period type pains and I went to the loo to find a bit of a show. So I've lost some of my mucus plug today, nice! Then for the rest of the afternoon I couldn't stop going for a wee! I went loads, very strange as I only had 2 cups of tea and a pint of water all afternoon.

I had a bath this evening, shaved again, sorted out the washing, put some clothes away, put some more stuff in my hospital bag which I still think isn't finished but will have to do, and I was going to do loads more but I'm in bed now.

Nugget really wiggles about at this time of night. Going to be a nocturnal baby I think. With is feet kicking my bladder and lower though I worry that he might rupture the membranes and we would then have to rush in for an emergency c-section and I doubt Rob would make it back in time which would be really sad.

Shattered now, going to try and get some sleep and hopefully nothing will start during the night as I have lots to get organised tomorrow.

CONFUSED - 39 WEEKS

My brain is so frazzled right now that I don't even have the energy to blog. I will try though.

Still feeling really rough, blocked up nose, tight chest, hard to breathe sometimes, headache, cough etc. Not nice and I just want it gone.

Thursday is quickly approaching and I still haven't made my mind up about what I want to do. I wish I could see into all the different futures.

I could wait to go into labour and to see if the contractions help to turn baby, or I could wait to go into labour before the c-section so at least I know baby is ready and we both get some good hormones for milk supply etc. I could have a vaginal breech birth which after looking into it a bit isn't that uncommon, or I could just go in on Thursday and have poor baby whipped out of his warm little home into a theatre room filled with bright lights and people doing stuff to him. The only plus I can see to this is getting my diastases sorted out, but is it really worth it?

I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow so will try and ask her some questions but I have to take the boys with me so I doubt I'll pick much up.

I did the pelvic tilt thing today for about 30 minutes I had my bum resting up on a mound of pillows and then for the rest of the day the baby has been really active. I think maybe one of his feet has shifted out of my pelvis as I can feel kicks again down on my right side. He has just generally been moving a lot more and I've had a few Braxton Hicks today. Not been feeling all that good really. I've been staying active though, walking Ellis to school and going to Sainsbury's which actually ended up being quite a struggle.

This nasty cold has made me blow my nose quite hard and all the coughing has hurt my tummy and my bum! I have a bad pile now and I've been treating it loads but it hasn't helped. A real pain in the arse, pun intended!

What is the right decision!? I have no gut instinct or feeling about any of it. All I know is that I'm scared of c-section and vaginal delivery now. I'm not prepared for either.

Hopefully speaking to Judith tomorrow and then someone on Thursday will help. It seems so far away though but also very close. I need help, but no one can help me. No one can tell me what the right thing to do is.

Everyone keeps saying that it will all be fine and will work out one way or the other. I so hope it does but that doesn't stop me doing my head in about it all. I have tried. I have tried to just pick one option and be okay with it but 2 seconds later I change my mind!

Can't believe how active Nugget is today. He hasn't moved around just pushes out and makes bump all pointy and hard. I pretty much decided over the last 2 days though that this will be my last baby, unless we have an accident of course.

I wish Rob was home. He is with his mates though having a little farewell party, but he can't drink just in case, which is rubbish for him.

Been really struggling with acid indigestion too. Last night I slept sitting up but it was still quite bad and I had to go to the toilet twice during the night and Ellis was awake 3 times. I'm not sure what is causing it. He says it is the heater/boiler or his radiator but I don't believe that is it.

Been trying to just chill out with the boys. Chatting to them, lots of cuddles that sort of thing. It's the only thing I can do really as I can't play fight etc. It is really nice time with them though and I'm trying hard to cherish it. Ellis is growing up so fast and Leo is really starting to make progress with communicating to all of us. I'm really worried about how I will split my time once number 3 is here. Again, I'm sure it will work out just fine!

I have done 39 week bump pictures but they are on the PC and I'm on the laptop so will have to post them tomorrow or something.

Even my blog post is all over the place!

So tired and need sleep but just can't sleep. One way or the other it will all be over soon and the recovery process and looking after a larger family can commence. Not long and all this will be a distant memory.

SICKY BAD - 38 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

I'm ill. I'm feeling very sorry for myself and very worried about going through major surgery feeling like this. My head and ears are pounding, nose is blocked and I keep coughing. I can only imagine the pain I will feel when I cough with stitches running across my belly.

I'm trying to spend my days bonding with baby. Picturing his little face, hands, feet etc and thinking of a name for him. I haven't come up with any yet. I just want to get him here safe and well. I'm a bit worried about his feet and hips but nothing I can do about that yet. Hips will be scanned like Ellis' were and the feet are still moving so hopefully they haven't been squished.

Bump is still wriggling but not moving as such, and never really has done.

Rob is ill too but he is doing his best to look after us all. It must be hard going to be working so far away and then to come home feeling rough and wanting to chill when you have other sick people and hectic kids to contend with. Ellis is really on one today!

Stacey had her baby boy yesterday. He is a little cutie at 5lb 12oz. They named him Leo Charles.

Very teary at the moment but that's because I'm feeling so rough and I HATE being ill, especially when there is stuff that needs to be done and a huge event coming up like having a baby to look after! It's not just the new baby either, I need to make sure my boys are all okay with it too. Need to make a list of final stuff that needs to be done. I want to sort my hospital bags out again as I don't need them set up for going through labour and to just check I'm happy with everything really.

I'm just really worried and scared about everything at the moment. Don't feel like I'm coping too well. Just need some positive thoughts to snap out of it.

38 WEEKS & THE APPOINTMENT - 38 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

So we waited for Dad to arrive and we left pretty much straight away. The journey to the hospital can be really quick but then you end up trying to find somewhere to park for 20 minutes or there is loads of traffic on the way and you end up late. But we sailed through, caught all lights on green and parked right by the delivery suite so we were over 30 minutes early!

I said about staying in the car but Rob said it might be a good idea to just see if they can see us early anyway. I'm glad he did.

We signed in at reception, Rob got his little sticker and we walked through to the delivery suite which was deserted. We were met by a nice midwife called Anna. She went through all my paperwork, past pregnancies, took my BP and temperature, made me do a urine sample and then set me up to trace baby's heart rate for at least 20 minutes.

The baby is rather happy in there apparently and his heart rate was very good. The trace was started at 11:38am.

Shortly before 12pm Anna came in to say that Mr Grant wasn't going to be seeing me now and it would be a Judith ?, but I didn't think to ask if she was happy to do it because of my previous section as I knew Anna already had that information. Plus Rob had been speaking to her about the fact that Mr Grant was the only one happy to look at me for the ECV.

Anyway, Judith likes her ladies tilted for 20 minutes to help move the baby out of the pelvis so at 11:55am the bed was tilted down and I was left like that. It wasn't very nice to start with but I soon got used to it. The blood went to my head and my cheeks felt warm and I did feel baby move up under my ribs and I started to get stretchy pains down my sides as he was moving into a position he hadn't been in before.

This video was cut short as Anna came back in the room. They are in and out constantly so it was quite hard to get some time to do a little documentary.

Anna came back in saying that we were still waiting for Judith but it wouldn't be long, then when she arrived Anna gave her my notes and a few minutes after that she came back in to say that Mr Grant would be doing it after all as Judith won't do a previous c-section lady. What a farce! I didn't mind though I was just using the time to chill out.

Mr Grant came in and apologised and took the trace off my belly. I was tilted back up by now.

He talked through my history again and had a feel of bump then put the scanner on to have a proper look. He really did a thorough look of the position which had changed slightly from the 36 week scan. The baby is now feet down in the pelvis followed by his bum. He wasn't bum down last time. He then spent ages checking where the cord was going. He could see that it was under the chin and around by one ear but wasn't sure where it went the other side. He kept checking and finally said he thought it went around under the baby's chin and up the other side, not necessarily wrapped around his neck but under his chin at least.

He turned the scanner off and said that he could go through everything with me but the end result would be that he wouldn't be happy to do it. He said he would give my 5 minutes to think about it. What was there to think about?

As soon as he left I turned to Anna and just confirmed with her that what he was saying was he wasn't going to attempt it and she said yes. I was still confused what there was to talk about but never mind.

It had never struck me that this might be the outcome. I thought we would go in and he would either be turned or he wouldn't. Not that they wouldn't even attempt it! Threw me through another loop!

I of course started crying and was upset that I was now heading for a section. They were all a bit surprised that I was so unhappy as apparently it is rare for a woman not to be happy about not going through child birth in the natural way. If that makes sense.

They left Rob and I alone for a bit and then Anna came back in with a suggestion that I could come back for another scan on Thursday, only 48 hours later to see if the cord had moved. A glimmer of hope but it was only that. Mr Grant came to speak to me again and said he was sorry and I said "yeh, you've ruined my dream!" Just kidding of course. I really like him and I think he gets me. He said the chance of baby moving in 48 hours was slim to nil but he gets paid to do his job so he will scan me again if that's what I wanted to do.

We decided to book in for the section anyway so Mr Grant's assistant, a doctor called Penny started the paperwork. She was really nice too. We talked again through my medical history etc and then I had to sign some stuff. I decided to be a bit cheeky and to ask if my split stomach muscles could be sorted out at the same time. She said she would speak to Mr Grant and he came back in saying have I been watching Embarrassing Bodies as apparently someone on there had it done in last weeks episode. I just said that I had done my research and was just hoping it could be done. He explained that he hadn't done many but that I wouldn't be any worse off if he had a go at it, so nothing to lose really.

I was booked in for 10th March and Anna went through a few things with me. We wrote some birth plan stuff down and she gave me some pre op tablets and explained that I had to be nil by mouth the night before. She measured me up for the lovely socks that you get and told me that if my waters were to go or I started contracting that I should call them up and get in quite quickly.

Will have to go into hospital at 7:30am on 10th and just wait until it is my turn. There was one other c section booked in for that morning but that could change and also any emergencies will come before me. It could even be cancelled altogether and they will let us know by 4pm!

I was then asked to do a swab for MRSA and I stupidly thought it was to check if I had any infections down below so I said it wouldn't be a problem to swab my moo. Rob and Anna laughed their heads off as the swab was to just go in the inside of your nose! HAHAHA! I knew that once it had sunk in that it was for MRSA. Give me a break!

We had to wait a while for the notes to be written up and I was discharged around 2pm. I was really hungry so we went home via McDonald's, yummy.

My brain was frazzled and I was feeling quite drained but I made it to my active birthing class as I wanted to chat about it all and also to get some chocolate and a cuppa with a room full of pregnant women.

I had a good time and got lots of my chest. I did feel better about things after that.

The next decision on the agenda was whether or not to attend the scan on Thursday. I thought about it loads and in the end I decided to cancel it. Baby hadn't moved and I couldn't see how the cord would have moved in 48 hours. I know there might have been a slight chance but not sure it was all worth the effort or disappointment if it hadn't.

So we are set for 10th March for a c-section, hopefully with Mr Grant who can sort out my split tummy muscles as the same time. I'm not happy about it all but what can I do? Nothing. Just need to get my head around it. The main thing that bothers me now is that there seems to be a long time between now and then. I will be 39 +4 weeks pregnant which seems a little too close to the end and I'm worried that my waters will go before then which would lead to an emergency section, possibly not with Mr Grant so diastases wouldn't get looked at either. Rubbish! Ah well just need to accept it all now. But I am on edge and very restless.

Yesterday morning I woke at 5:30am unable to go back to sleep as I was having period pains and twinges etc and I was just waiting for something to happen. Obviously it didn't but I couldn't sleep.

Today I have been even more puffy than normal which is hard to believe and I'm feeling very very tired. Leo was up in the night and had been sick during the night so I had to clear that up first thing. Thankfully Sarah took Ellis to school this morning so I didn't have to get dressed and Leo didn't go to Sing and Sign so we haven't got dressed all day, lush. Just wish I could have spent the day in bed but Leo's nap time was taken up with the bloke being here looking at the boiler.

Rob is home now so hopefully he will look after all of us but he isn't well either. I've been coughing a lot which hurts my tummy and I've started to get a bit snotty too. Really, really bad timing for illness but hopefully it will clear before the 10th.

So it's a waiting game either way now. When we go in for the section they will scan me first on the off chance that baby has turned. If he has then I will then have the decision of whether I go for natural with the potential that the cord is still around his neck or go for the section anyway. I hate making decisions.

So here are the 38 week pictures and measurements which should have been done on a separate post but I can't be bothered.

38 weeks with Nugget,

38 weeks with Leo,

and 38 weeks with Ellis.



I wore the same clothes on purpose again, because why not.

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight = 14st 8lbs (+ 2st 13lbs) I've given up caring!

Tummy = 116cm (+22.5cm)

Upper arm = 30cm(+1cm)

Upper leg = 65.5cm (+4.5cm)

Ankle = 26cm (+2cm)

Neck = 36cm (+3cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 14st
Tummy = 114cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 64.5cm
Ankle = 25cm
Neck = 34.5cm

Right that is me up-to-date on this blog, hurrah! It may get changed once Rob reads it.

ECV BOOKED - 36 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

It's the day after the day after and I'm going to try and blog about all the recent happenings. Not sure if I will finish it tonight as I'm hanging even though it is only 8pm.

So anyway on Tuesday I had an appointment at the hospital to see a registrar to discuss my options of birth. I knew I just wanted to have the most active and natural birth that was possible for me within their hospital policies. Just before I left for the appointment I had a chat with Judith (my midwife) who was taking the breastfeeding antenatal class and she said that they would scan me that day if they weren't sure what way up the baby was.

I picked Mum up and went to the hospital. When we arrived we were told there was a delay to see the doctor and the waiting room was full up. I said I really needed to pee so if I needed to do a wee sample, could I do it now please. To start with she said, "just go to the loo now and have a drink after" but I said I'll just do it now. She eventually looked into it and a midwife came out to take me down to do the wee sample. She also took my blood pressure and weighed me. While she was doing all this I was just chatting away but happened to mention that I wanted a scan to see how the baby was lying. First thing she said was "you wouldn't need to know if you're having a c-section". Of course I soon put her straight and said that I thought it was a waste of time me talking through my options if they were actually limited anyway. She said she couldn't authorise the scan and that the registrar would palpate me and get me scanned if they weren't sure. I was okay with that but still said it could save time to do it first.

On my way back to the waiting room I overheard her talking to someone else about my case and 2 minutes after sitting down I was called in for a scan as I was told the doctor wouldn't have time to palpate me because they were so far behind.

Just before the wand was put on my belly the sonographer asked what position I thought he was in and when she looked she said I was dead right. The placenta is at the very top of bump, his head is up on my left side, back running across the top with bum down on the right and legs and hands are right down in my pelvis area. She did some measurements and estimated his current weight at 5lbs 13oz, checked the fluid level which was good and we had a look at the cord. She said there was lots of cord and that it wasn't around his neck, all of which are good signs for trying to turn the little bugger around. Here is a picture of what position he is in, pretty much anyway, including where the placenta is.

I went back to the waiting room, called Rob, then had a long wait to see the doctor. Time passed quite quickly but I was in a right mood. Pissed off, scared, annoyed, nervous, worried etc etc. We were called in by a young female doctor who immediately started off by saying about getting me booked in for a section. Hold up, wait a minute! I explained what had happened with the scan and that I was very keen to try an ECV. She asked why I didn't want a section and said they wouldn't be keen to do an ECV on someone who had had a previous section. I said I know that but would they please do it. She said she would have to speak to her boss about it and so she left the room.

She returned not long after with her boss in tow who was the man we had seen at the beginning of the pregnancy that said I should have my blood pressure taken every 2 weeks, from 20 weeks of pregnancy! Anyway, he started on about the risks and that they wouldn't want to do it and that he wouldn't do one and neither would Mr McCloud who was the main dude and the man I had seen for treatment after having Leo. That did scare me a bit but he said he would ring around and try and find someone but that it might not be at that hospital. I was fine with that. The risks are that my scar will be stretched and torn open causing me to bleed out. You also have the usual risks of the placenta coming away from the wall and fetal distress. Basically if any of that happens I would be taken straight into surgery and he would be taken out.

So he went out and came back in saying that he had found someone, a Dr S Grant who would do the ECV in 2 weeks time as he was on holiday the following week. Most ECVs need to be done in week 37 and I'll be in week 38 but I can't complain really. So I'm booked in to have it done on 1st March. I have to call the delivery suite in the morning between 8 and 9am and they will tell me what time to come in. I'm not allowed anything to eat from 6am and I should be having it done around 12pm but that all depends on how busy they are. If successful I have to stay on delivery suite for 3 hours before I can go home. If unsuccessful then I will be booked in for a c-section for the following week and if there are any problems then I will be having a baby there and then! I have to take all my stuff with me but leave it in the car. My blue V pillow is coming in with me though.

I left feeling rather flustered obviously and not sure what I was doing. Mum was a bit unsure about my decision too but all I could think of was that I didn't want a c-section so any alternative, I will take. So the decision was made for me and thankfully because I seemed to be well informed according to the 2 doctors they were happy to discuss it all with me. I think if I didn't know anything they would have just booked me in and that would be that. I was asked why I was so against having a c-section by the doctors and friends and it's not that I'm against them as such and that I want to have this au natural birthing experience, it's a case of I have 2, then 3 children to look after, I need to drive, if I have any more children it would automatically mean a c-section, it's major abdominal surgery which comes with risks, I didn't recover well from my previous section, and if I could have a normal birth I would prefer it.

Obviously it has really done my head in. I'm so confused and worried about whether or not I'm doing the right thing, should I just cave in and book in for a section, should I just try the ECV anyway as I've fought for it and tons more thoughts. I'm really not looking forward to the actual experience of having the ECV done but if it works out how great would that be. I'm just really struggling with being positive, being in the now, having a whatever attitude, all the things that I have preached to friends. I've had so many people say to me that as long as baby is alright that's all that matters, what will be will be, and that it wouldn't be that bad having a section and of course I know this but that doesn't change the way I feel right now. I know it could be worse and I feel so stupid sometimes that I'm moaning on about it when I have friends that have lost babies, would do anything to get and stay pregnant and here I am fussing about how it's coming out.

My thoughts have been taken over with the position of this baby and ECV. If it is successful I will quickly have to turn my head back around and start thinking about preparing myself for labour and birth. If not then I have to come to terms with how it will end up. It's the not knowing and waiting that is driving me crazy. I know 2/4 weeks isn't that long but it certainly feels like it at the moment.

I'll try and do another post in a few days with how I'm feeling then but for now I'm feeling pretty down. I need to snap out of it I know and be positive, happy and excited but it just isn't happening at the moment. Thank you to all my friends who have been trying to keep my chin up. I'm a tough cookie and will be fine I'm sure.

WHICH WAY? - 33 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

Went to the midwife yesterday, eventually, as I went to the wrong bloody clinic to start with. I hurt my pelvis trying to throw the buggy back in the boot and I had squeezed into a space in the car park so getting Leo in and out was a big struggle. Not a nice experience and by the time I had raced over to the other surgery I was all hot and flustered.

I was called in pretty quickly and immediately she dipped my urine and found that I had huge amounts of sugar in it. This could indicate diabetes but I have no other symptoms apart from the swelling and tiredness so she said she wouldn't worry about it this time but will see me again in 3 weeks to check it again. I need to reduce my sugar intake a bit.

She measured bump and it was 33 centimetres which is what it should be so that was good news. Heart rate of baby was traced and seen as fine and she had a feel of bump and said she thought it was head down but not 100%. She said we wouldn't worry about it until 37 weeks and would send me for a scan if she wasn't sure. I asked if it was breech would they do an ECV on me and she said they may not want to because of previous c-section. Even though this isn't necessarily going to happen I was still rather annoyed by this for the rest of the day!

An ECV is a external cephalic version. Basically they grease you up and try to manipulate the baby around and hope that it stays head down, as some flip back like I did. Sorry Mum. There is a really good video of it here.

Midwife took some blood which is never a problem for me and this time she hit the vein first time.

My blood pressure was fine and that was about it. I have another appointment in 3 weeks time.

I did talk about my consultant appointment which is on 15th February and she confirmed that they would just talk about my options and tell me the risks etc which I have already heard when I went with Leo, so not really sure what the point in me going is. I told her I would call up and cancel my appointment and she just said to try and call them really early and speak to a midwife there first. Okay, I'll give it a go but I'm not attending the appointment.

I was quite flustered when I left the clinic. Leo had been a very good boy, going in and out of the car and buggy and just having to sit there watching me too.

Rob fixed the car seat and put the covers in the wash and I cleaned the hood this morning so it's all ready to go looking brand new which is nice.

I have picked up the mattress for the crib and the bedding has been washed and ironed so if baby was to surprise us then we would manage. There is still plenty to do though:

Hospital bag

Clean crib

Finish cleaning, ironing and putting clothes away

Sort out all the pads, cotton wool, nappies etc

Changing box

Blue chair - get back & clean

Memory Box & Scrap book

Birth plan

Oil for perineum massage

Clean sling

Clean buggy cocoon

Find mobile, clean and attach to crib

Clean play mat and find toys that go with it

Sort out baby toys

Present from Nugget to boys

Names list

I know a lot of that isn't critical before baby arrives but it would make me happy and more at ease if it was done.

Okay then so for my hospital bag I have a list of the following:

Shampoo

Conditioner

Arnica

Shower Gel

Scrub

Shaver

Toothbrush & paste

Deodorant

Hair brush

Hair ties

Knickers/net pants

Nursing bra

Pads - maternity & breast

Towels x2

Dressing gown

PJ's

Slipper socks/slippers

Joggers

T-shirt

Cotton Wool

Nappies

Nappy sacks

Nappies

Wipes

3 x vests

3 x baby grows

Hat

Blanket

Rabbit

Going home outfit

Smaller stretchy bandage for my tummy muscles

Notepad and pen for marking down breastfeeding times (although could do on my phone)

2 x cameras (charged and empty memory cards)

Snacks

Water bottle

Mobile & charger

V pillow

Birthing ball

List of people to contact

Maternity notes

Birth plan

Tens machin

Something to give birth in

Very long list but I expect I have forgotten something. Just need to find one bag that isn't too big but fits it all in. I'm hoping to use Rob's bag that he uses for going away with. Might try and grab that this weekend.

The birth plan will just be a slight revised version of the one we used for Leo's birth. I can do that this weekend too so hopefully that will be another thing ticked off the list.

Nugget wiggles a bit but all the hand and feet sticking out thing happens down by my c-section scar so I haven't been able to see it let alone video it. Bit sad about that but never mind.

He gets hiccups quite a lot and I can't stand it. It is a horrible feeling for me. I know lots of people love it but I'm not one of them.

Pelvis hasn't been too bad the last couple of days and I've been quite busy. It does really hurt to turn over in bed and getting up and down can be a bit of struggle but other than that I'm doing pretty good at ignoring it.

Went to my second Active Birthing class on Tuesday which was brilliant. I so wish Naomi was there as we talked through what AB was all about and what sort of stuff you would learn. I wish she could have heard it for herself and not through me. I'm sure she thinks some hippy weirdo is teaching some yoga breathing nonsense or something when it so not like that. It is informative and very helpful and puts it all into perspective so that by the time you are sat by the door (being the one due next) you are relaxed and ready to face the labour and birth and all that it brings with it.

Still rather puffy and feeling large but enjoying it. I'm not wishing it away and not wanting to rush it.

Out tomorrow night with Yoga lot for a meal which I'm really looking forward to and then it's date night Saturday so I'll be going out again. Not sure where though.

Hopefully get a few things done off my list this weekend which will help me to feel a lot more settled and relaxed.

LIST - 32 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

I have an expanding list of things I want to talk about on here so I better get on with it before I forget what I wanted to say. It won't really flow as I'm following a list and will just write about each one.

Gas - with my first 2 pregnancies I always had gas going up and down but this time around I haven't suffered from it and luckily, so far, I haven't had any indigestion which is great.

Aches & Pains - everyone gets them I'm sure. This time I have been getting lower back ache if I've been standing for a long time but to be honest I get that when I'm not pregnant too. It isn't too bad though. The biggest issue is the burning, stinging, stabbing pelvis pain. Sometimes it is horrendous. The worse time by far is when trying to get comfy in bed or turning over, oh and getting dressed and undressed. It is so painful and you know you have to feel it as you have to move. So I just grit my teeth, feel the pain and usually groan or let out some air. It isn't nice and I will stop going on about it but I have to write about it as a reminder for next time! ;o)

Preparing siblings - I feel like I haven't done enough of this with Leo and too much with Ellis. Ellis is always asking when is baby Ben going to arrive, is it spring yet etc etc and Leo just knows that my tummy is called baby. Pretty sure he doesn't know that there is a baby in there and that it will be coming out and home with us. I think he will be in for the biggest shock. Ellis really wants to be a helper and I hope he does as I will need it.

Baby position - I pretty much have no idea of baby's position other than the fact that all movement, kicks, prods etc is down on my c-section scar and below. It is so strange how low it is and it doesn't feel nice at all. I know there is time for baby to get in a proper position but it would be nice to feel some good movements and legs/arms sticking out etc. I have a midwife appointment in just under a week so should know more then, hopefully.

Rob has actually looked into purchasing an ultra sound machine so that I can put my mind at rest as I obsess about it every day. They go for £900 which isn't bad really as you can re-sell it. I've told him not to obviously.

Size - I've been told conflicting things about how I look size wise. Some say I look massive then go on to say but it's all up front and you don't look pregnant from behind. One lady today said I hardly looked pregnant! People say I don't look like I have put on any extra weight! Seriously! It would be nice to be made to feel better but when you know you have gained so much extra fat on your arse and thighs and I'm bloated everywhere else, you wonder why people are fibbing so badly. ;o) I just have to look at my hands I know I'm big.

Getting ready - Right, so I've started to do the washing and ironing and putting the clothes into Leo's current room. All of Leo's clothes are now in with Ellis' which makes it so much easier. I've been out shopping and bought a few bits, ordered the mattress and bought myself some pads and arnica. I've written a very long list of stuff for the hospital bag but I don't remember taking that much stuff last time. I'll post the list on here soon. Need to do a birthing plan, clean the crib, finish sorting the clothes, sort out a car seat as current one is broken, pack hospital bag and I also need to work out what I'm going to do if labour starts and Rob is away etc. I mean Mum and Dad are 20 minutes drive away so add on getting out the house, 30 minutes, and Uncle Dave isn't much closer, if I can get hold of him. Sally has kindly said she would let me know when she could be free which is great as she is a lot closer, but it is still a worry. Hopefully it will start Friday afternoon or something, that way Rob will be home and I won't have to worry about any of it. I seem to have quite long labours but this time might be really fast, you just never know and it's best to be prepared.

AB Classes - went back to my first active birthing class on Tuesday. I made the silly mistake of walking down the very dark lane to get to the barn, ended up scaring the shit out of myself, causing me to run and hurt my pelvis. The class went well though. We heard a birth story at the beginning, drank tea, ate chocolate, talked about breathing techniques at the end for 2 minutes and introduced ourselves etc. It was really nice to be back but strange at the same time. I felt like a know it all and I sat there nodding my head a lot of the time. I'll keep going for now as it is nice to think about this baby and this pregnancy and I do need to get my head prepared for the labour of labour.

Appetite - this is going up and down and all over the place. Some days I really could just drink water all day and be fine, other days 2 chocolate bars, 3 packets of crips, tons of fruit etc are just not enough. I haven't weighed and I don't intend to until 35 weeks. I think with Leo I weighed a lot so was much more conscious of what was happening but this time I'm just going with the flow. Not worried about weight gain at all as long as I don't go stupid. I'm pretty sure I can lose it again with a bit of will power and I'm planning to do it by having an eating plan ready so that I can stick to it. It's something like this:

Breakfast - Porridge or Oat cereal with a banana

Fruit snack mid morning

Lunch - Sandwich with low fat crisps and yoghurt or soup with 2 bits of toast and yoghurt

Healthy mid afternoon snack

Dinner - Not overly fussed about this but pasta and sauce or fish or something like that.

I'll make sure to drink plenty of water too as I will hopefully be breastfeeding and will need to keep hydrated.

Cravings - I really want to be crunching away on some crushed ice just like I did with Leo but unfortunately we don't have the ice dispenser hooked up so no ice. :o(

Boobs - these things are massive but I'm still in my normal bras. I do have 4 boobs though and they barely cover my nipples, but I'm still in them. I will switch to my bigger bras soon.

Spots - maybe it is to do with my appetite/eating but I have suddenly started to get lots of spots again. I usually get a few spots anyway but in recent weeks I haven't had any so I noticed them when they returned. Hopefully they will go again soon.

Swollen - now this is going to sound very strange but I'm sure this is pretty normal that my down below bits are a bit swollen. I think I remember having it with Ellis but not sure. It isn't uncomfortable or anything but just a bit weird. My legs, hands, feet, face and neck are definitely puffy. I have bad sock marks and my stringy bit as I call it from my big toe is slowly disappearing. Plus you can feel that your skin is being stretched. Oh the joys of pregnancy!

The boys - as the time of the new arrival is fast approaching I've become really aware that my chance to spend quality time with the 2 boys is diminishing very quickly and I'm feeling a little bit sad about it. I'm really trying my best to give them lots of attention and one on one time as soon Mummy time will have to be split again. Hopefully Daddy will take up the slack in the first couple of weeks so that I can settle into some sort of routine so that I can still spend good time with them as well as keep on top of everything else. I know this isn't going to be easy but I'll cope. I'll have to.

Done - I'm still pregnant and I already think that I'm done, as in 3 boys will be enough for me. As much as I would love to have a little girl, I don't think I can go through all this again for the very slight chance that it might happen. I've always said I wouldn't have children just to have a certain sex, and I stand by that. I would never say never though and it is just left open for now. Would have to see how it all works out anyway. I would want a slightly bigger gap too as I think my body needs a rest from pregnancy and/or breastfeeding, which it has been doing since October 2006! I will get rid of some stuff after this one. I will keep some special outfits and things but everything else can go.

32 weeks - In general I'm feeling good. Up and down emotionally, very paranoid and I feel like I'm not working hard enough on some of my friendships but I'm just very consumed with everything right now. It sounds like a rubbish excuse but I just can't fit everything in. That doesn't mean that I'm too busy doing other stuff it just means that I can't cope with it all. My brain is overloaded.

I really have a good waddle going on now and I'm aware of my posture changing to a slightly leaning back position. I try to hold myself up high, pull in those pesky muscles and walk with my knees sometimes knocking. Sounds mental right?

I feel like I'm nearly at the end but I do have almost 8 weeks left, but they are ticking by so quickly. I'm trying to cherish the pregnancy but to be totally honest, apart from the pain in my pelvis and the horrible kicks to my bladder, I haven't really had too much time to think about it. I really want to make sure that I bond with this baby quite quickly and that I don't just see him as a little machine to deal with in amongst what I usually do, if that makes sense. I want him to be part of everything and not just a new chore. That sounds terrible I know but I'm just worried about spreading the love. I'm sure it will be just fine.

I have seriously waffled on but I did say my list was rather long. I must admit I did add to it as I went along.

Feeling happy but disorganised. Once I'm sorted out I will feel a lot more settled. I think I remember going through a phase like this with both pregnancies. Worrying about being a good Mum, worrying about everything really.

Going to put my feet up now and switch off for a bit.

20 WEEK SCAN - 24 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

It's been a very long time between posts but I have been having trouble on deciding on how to actually write this one. I want to be honest about my feelings but I don't want to upset anyone that might read this. Very hard for me to explain. I was going to just cut and paste the story of the scan from topflumps, and I pretty much will but will elaborate on feelings etc.

So lets go back to the week of the scan, I hadn't been feeling quite right since my curry night with the girls but had nothing to show for it other than cramps, pains, and just generally feeling a bit sick.

Unfortunately it got rather worse on Friday which was a shame as it was the day of our 20 week scan (at 21+4 days). I was barely eating and just didn't feel right. I had quite dizzy spells too and just generally felt very tired all the time. I thought it was pregnancy related but maybe it was a bug.

Friday afternoon Mum came over at 2pm to take care of Leo and to pick Ellis up from school so that Rob and I could go for the scan. We got to the hospital and there were plenty of parking spaces which was lucky. We signed in and paid for some pictures. I wanted 4 and they were £4 each! Rob couldn't believe it when he received his change from a £20 note.

We sat waiting, me huffing and puffing because I felt so rotten and Rob huffing and puffing because of the cost of the pictures, before being called in quite quickly.

The ladies name was Tracy and she was very friendly. We went into a scan room we haven't been in before which was nice and I got up on the table and we could soon see our little Nugget on the screen.

We had a little look around and on examining the face we saw the mouth open and shut a few times. It was like it was talking to us! The examiner replayed the pictures and it was so funny to see. It's going to be a chatterbox like Ellis.

Rob's face was about an inch away from the monitor as he was trying to hunt down the male or female parts. I really didn't want to know and was so determined not to find out but after showing us the skull, brain, eyes, mouth, heart, kidneys, there it was. Both Rob and I said at the same time "it's a boy then?!" I've seen it's got a willy. Tracy laughed a bit nervously as she hadn't told us to look away etc and it was pretty obvious as she was zooming up and down the babies legs to kidneys area that there was indeed a penis.

All 3 or us spent a long time talking about it being our 3rd little boy and how my life was doomed to be seriously outnumbered, forever blue with toilet seats up and rowdy boys running and jumping around. Rob quickly turned to me and said "don't think you will be getting a 4th because of this!". I was genuinely not surprised that it was another boy but I so wish we hadn't found out at that moment as I felt the tiniest bit of excitement dissipate. The thought and hope that it could have been a little girl were gone and I now have a few months to get used to the idea of another boy.

Tracy took some pictures and at the end said she had gone a bit overboard taking pictures and not to tell the front desk. I was quite excited about that but she actually only went overboard by 1. We had 5 pictures and 4 of them are the same front on view of the skull. No hand or foot, side on profile, body, nothing. I wish I had thought to ask at the time but we were so busy talking about it being a boy that I forgot.

Back at home we told the boys and Mum the news which was all rather exciting and then I started to receive text message replies to a message I had sent out telling everyone else what had happened. I had some lovely responses back and one from Sophie (AB) made my Mum and I cry. Lush.

I had a lot of messages saying, better luck next time, have to go for a 4th then etc but I think 3 boys is enough for anyone thank you. Chances are the 4th would be a boy anyway. There was only a 1:4 chance of this one being a boy.

I am very happy that the baby appears normal and healthy and I know that pink, or blue, babies are a blessing. This still didn't stop me from crying in Asda about the fact that I would never get to buy pink stuff. It sounds so silly as I am a Mum of such amazing children that I should be sad about this stuff. Some people can't even have children of their own or struggle for a very very long time to get one, which is why I have really been struggling with my feelings recently. I feel very guilty that I am crying and upset that I will never get to experience having a daughter or being able to buy pink things when some people can't buy or experience any of it! I can't help the way I feel though and I have been a bit sad.

I shared with Rob some of what I was feeling but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what to say. Plus it's not something he can just fix so it must be hard for him.

I will obviously get over it and I can't wait to meet my baby in March. In fact recently I seem to be wishing the time to come sooner. With the past 2 pregnancies I wanted to savour every minute but this time, although I am enjoying it for the most part, I just want him here. I want to see what he looks like, I want to give him cuddles and I want the boys to meet him.

So having said all that, I now need to get up-to-date with how I have been since then.

I am currently 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

My boobs and butt don't look like that!

23 week bump picture which I forgot to put on sidebar.

I have really started to feel Nugget move in the last 2 weeks. So much later than with the first 2. I try all the time to just stop for a minute to feel it but during the day when Leo is awake it is very difficult as he comes over and just gives it a wack. Ellis is better but he does jump around a lot which makes my belly wobble anyway.

I can now see the movement from outside too which has also taken a while this time and the other strange thing for me is that all the kicks and prods are very low down. I mean on my c-section scar and below! Way too low I think. Maybe from all the hard pushing with Leo, everything has sagged down that little bit further, as I know my bladder has.

Bladder is working ok. I don't get leaks but it doesn't really tell me when I need to go so when I do go I can be there for ages and I realise that I probably should have gone sooner.

I am having to get up in the night to wee too which I have never done before either. So many different things this time! Apart from the sex of the baby obviously.

The baby jumps at loud noises now so when the boys shout or something gets dropped I feel it jump about. I love feeling the movements. It doesn't get any more special than that.

My bump this time isn't very attractive, according to me anyway. I have a funny over hang at the bottom and my stretch marks are disgusting. I actually find it quite depressing how vile my skin is. I was hoping not to get any new ones this time but I'm quite itchy as the skin is stretching so maybe I will. I cream and oil up all the time so I can't be told I haven't tried to stop them.

Over the last week or so my pelvis pain under my left buttock has really kicked in. Some days it is quite bad and I hobble around like a very old person. Other days it just twinges every now and then. I'm trying really hard to do my exercises and I have a physio appointment soon so I will probably be told to wear my stretchy bandage which should help a bit for a while, hopefully. I'm also trying to not complain about it too much as when I was pregnant with Leo I was always going on about it. It's just one of those things that happens to me and I have to get on with it. As long as baby comes out ok and I'm alright, it doesn't matter. I really would love to get my stomach sorted out after though. Might look into that. Not for cosmetic reasons although that would be nice but for health reasons really. My stomach muscles are shot from 3 pregnancies, being cut for a c-section and cut for an appendectomy. Hopefully they could do something about my bladder too. That's all a long way off yet.

I am hoping to go for a 4d scan this time. We didn't with the others as we didn't have the cash but I really would like to have one done. I've found a good place recommended to us and it isn't stupidly priced. Will look into booking that soon and hopefully Mum's could come too or something.

I am also going to go back to my Active Birthing classes but I'm not quite sure when to start. Might leave it until after Christmas but then that only gives me 2 whole months! Might be enough to get my head in gear. If anything I'm feeling too cocky this time and need to be careful that I'm not over confident. Every time is a new time. Baby might be breach yet for all I know!

Right, done it now. Might leave a bit of a gap again unless something interesting happens.

HAPPY HAPPY - 21 WEEKS, 1 DAY

This pregnancy is turning out to be quite different from the first 2, although I'm still sure it will be a boy.

I haven't had pelvis pain yet which is great and I'm really enjoying this pregnancy, not that I didn't the other 2 but they were just a lot harder, and I cried more feeling sorry for myself as it was just hurting so much all the time. I hope the lack of pain continues even though the stiffness and sharp stabbing pain in my arse cheek have arrived. I think that is do with the sciatic nerve.

Things are really busy at the moment and I'm pretty sure that will continue until after Christmas now, which is great but also I feel like I'm not giving enough thought to this pregnancy and this baby. I keep forgetting! How could I? I even tried laying on my tummy this evening while chatting to Ellis, and it wasn't until it hurt that I realised I'm squashing my lickle Nugget!

Speaking of Ellis, that is another thing that is making this pregnancy so great. He is so excited too! I'm getting to share it all with him, and he understands this time. Tonight he felt it kick for the first time and was so pleased. He was very gentle and really interested in what was going on. It's really nice talking to him about it all and I love it.

The movements are still really faint actually and really, really low down. I don't remember the kicking with the boys being so far down, like under my c-section scar. I've seen it kicking from the outside but right down low. I assume that is ok!?

Last time at this stage too, my scar was burning. This time I haven't had any problems with it which has been good. Probably because all the scar tissue was stretched with the Leo pregnancy.

Looking forward to the scan on Friday. Be good to see Nugget again and check that everything is proceeding how it should. I'm still not 100% on finding out the sex or not. I suppose it depends on if everything is ok first. Rob really wants to find out and I would like to, but I also want to feel how it feels when you find out at the end. I just can't decide completely.

Bump has suddenly really popped out! I'm wearing my one pair of fat jeans everyday now and they really could do with a wash but I have nothing else. I've bought some leggings but can't bring myself to put my tree trunks in them. I've also bought some jeans but they just pull my pants down every time I move. I hate not having nice fitting clothes. I buy stuff hoping it will fit properly later but never wear it! I do the same with the boys. I buy them clothes that I think they will grow into but then I forget I have them and by the time I remember they don't fit again! I'm all confused over clothes at the moment but I'll work something out. Would really just like one pair of decent fitting jeans!

I had a fair few people today tell me how big bump was suddenly looking. I think the fact that I haven't pooed in a few days and that they didn't see me for a week because of half term has made a difference.

Busting out of my bras. Lotty has leant me some so I need to try them on. If not I'm off to Perfect Fit to get some new ones. Going to treat myself.

Nervous about scan. Hopefully have some blurry pictures to post on the weekend. I say it like that because they seem to do crap 20 week pictures. I looked at Ellis' yesterday and his were brilliant (we were at a different hospital for Ellis scans). You can see them below.

Leo's were rubbish, in my opinion. They were £2 each too. This time they are £4 each! Not sure how many we will buy yet. You have to decide before you actually see the pictures so you could end up with 4 pictures of next to nothing.

Right, that's it! I'm shattered so off to bed for some rest before Ellis comes in saying he can't sleep. I really can't be bothered tonight so if he comes in, he can stay even though he just bugs me rather than going back to sleep.

NEW - 19 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Nugget has been kicking me loads today which has been lush and I've tried to stop what I'm doing and just enjoy it for a bit. Certainly makes it more real to know there is a little thing in there wriggling and kicking about.

As of today, we have decided not to find out the sex of our baby. I know I will find it very hard but I'm actually very excited to find out what it is after going through the hard work of giving birth. I'm still reasonably high risk for having a normal delivery so if for any reason I need to have a c-section again, finding out what we have after might soften the blow a bit. I know I am thinking way ahead! I will buy a girl going home outfit though, just in case. ;o)

Nic had her baby boy, Harry James, 8lb 14oz in the early hours of Thursday morning. She was due to go into hospital to be induced on the Thursday so luckily she missed that. He is so cute.

Loving being pregnant and so far so good. Don't want to jinx it too much.

Seeing as I've decided what I'm doing re finding out the sex, I have now changed the poll question to what do you think we are going to have? Please vote.

Feeling tired quite a bit but the boys are waking up early, before 6am which is always a killer to see 5 something on my phone.

The new car has now gone. The garage wouldn't pay for the repairs so they asked for the car back in the end. Rob drove up this morning and got the train back. It's a bit of a shame as we are now back to car hunting. BOO!

Hopefully we will find something soon as it tends to make Rob rather unsettled. He just can't stop thinking about it, surfing about it etc.. I'm not that worried. We have plenty of time before we actually need a bigger car, so I can wait.

Not long until the 20 week scan. Can't wait to see Nugget again. Hopefully all will be okay and then it will just be trying to enjoy it until D day. Exciting stuff.

CONSULTANT - 13 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Mum and Dad were here nice and early this morning and we left straight away. My appointment was at 9am so luckily the 2+ lane was open and we got there just on time. We found a parking space right next to the building and went in.

I checked in, and within minutes I was called. Baby Nugget was soon on the screen wriggling about, arms and legs going everywhere. The hand was on the screen for ages and this is the image that remains in my mind, soooo cute! The usual checks were done and I was told that I am 13 weeks today and not 13 +1. I'm not going to change my date though. I will keep it to what the Consultant told me on Friday. So my due date changed to 15th March.

You have to buy the pictures in advance at £4 each and you have to decide how many you want. I found this whole process very annoying as I wanted to see the pictures before I bought them. I got 2 in the end but not of what I wanted. She zoomed in right on the skull and had a good frontal picture of the face which is what I wanted. I should have asked, but never mind.

These are the pictures we got today.

Back in the waiting room, we sat for 2 seconds before being called by the consultant.

We had a little chat about the past 2 pregnancies and I mentioned that I had slightly high blood pressure at the end of my pregnancy with Ellis so the consultant decided that I should have fortnightly BP checks with my midwife from 20 weeks! He is having a laugh! I had no problems with Leo so I won't be doing that.

He didn't check my pee or BP which they did last time with Leo and we were sent on our way. We got home an hour after leaving which was great!

I have to go back at 36 weeks to see the consultant to talk about induction or c-section and then I have my 20 week scan in the first week of November. Can't wait!

Feeling really happy but totally exhausted. When Rob is away I have to wait until I could fall asleep standing up before going to bed, especially in the new house as all the new sounds and bangs keep me awake. I wake a lot in the night too so I ended up starting the day off tired. It's 9:45pm and I'm ready for bed but still got some blogging to do.

Now that people are reading and hopefully catching up, I can post more as I want this to be my diary where I can just spew my guts.

It was lush seeing Nugget again today and I can't wait for the 20 week scan. I so hope I feel it move before then.

Rob and I are starting to discuss if we should find out the sex or not. I think I would like to get organised with clothes and stuff if it is a girl but then if it is a boy we need to start thinking of a name as we struggle. I don't know, it would be lush to have a surprise but it is just too long to wait. Also if it is a girl I won't have time to go shopping for pink things, which I would want to do. Oh no, what am I going to do. Must put it to a vote I think. Please vote in the poll to help me decide!