4D SCAN - 27 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Today was the day of our 4D scan. I was pretty nervous and excited and not really sure what to expect.

The Mum's arrived and we said our goodbyes to the boys before getting in the new car to head to the appointment.

We left in plenty of time but we arrived at the clinic on time, not early. It didn't matter though as we didn't get called in until 4pm and our appointment was at 3:45pm. I do understand now though why we were a little late. I'll explain in a bit.

I had had a can of fizzy and a couple of chocolate bars to get the baby moving as this was what I was instructed to do. I had a full bladder too which isn't essential but if the baby is in a funny position, then going for a wee might help it to move.

We did the formalities of signing the declaration etc and then I hopped on the bed and warm gel was applied to my huge tummy. It was warm because it had been on the radiator.

They lady that did the scan was Natalie and she is actually a friend of Tilly's which was a bit strange to find out as she really wanted to ask me about it at the start of the session but we didn't find out until the end.

The first part was doing the usual 2D scan of just checking around, the sex of the baby (clearly still a boy) and its general health and position. Guess what? The baby is breech! I know there is plenty of time for it to move around and I so hope it does but in my gut I really think it won't. Time will tell on that, and like Sally said, at least I could blag another scan later on.

We did get a DVD of the whole thing and there is a part on there pointing out the fact that he is indeed a he. When I work out how to put it on here, I will. But I'm sure that will be after Christmas now unless I can get Rob to help me with it.

We then started to look at the 4D images. It didn't work how I thought it would. I assumed it would be the same as a normal scan but seeing it properly if you know what I mean. But what actually happens is, they find the face on the 2D image and then flick a switch, wait for it to work for a little bit and then you see what you get. A lot of the time there is a lot of black holes, which is where there is cord, hands, arms, and in our babies case, legs and feet! Yep his feet were up over his head, just like Ellis'.

We tried for a while to get something and I had to roll over onto my right side, then onto my left side, then back to my back but we still weren't getting any good face pictures. Natalie then said to go to the toilet, walk around, get a drink, jump up and down etc and come back in 15 minutes. This 15 minutes is why we were late going in as the girl before us had the same issue and had to go back to try again. We were very lucky with this and I will explain why again later on.

I went to the loo then went outside for a walk. I managed to grab Rob who was buying coffee for the Mum's and he bought me a tea. Hot tea always gets Nugget moving. I walked around a little bit more and then we went back in.

It wasn't fantastic but it was better than before. We managed to get a few good pictures.

I love this one!

Hand and foot in front of face. We could see his fingers and toes wiggle.

Here are some short videos of the scan too.

There was a really funny moment towards the end where we were watching his hand in front of his face and it looked like he was counting as he had a hand and foot there and Rob said he had got to 10 and needed to carry on. Then we said about him telling us to get lost and that we wouldn't be surprised if he gave us the finger. Seconds later he did! We all laughed, even the sonographer who apologised for doing so. I told her not to be silly and that of course she could laugh. Bless.

We were in there for ages and at the end when she said she was all done, she asked if I was happy and I said yes but could you please do it for 10 seconds more? Cheeky I know but I knew we were her last appointment and I just wanted one more glimpse of his chubby chops.

The Mums and Rob enjoyed it and we all agreed that it looked a lot like Ellis. There were times, especially from the side angle that it looked a bit like Leo but with the full lips, chubby nose and cheeks, I think it looked just like my first born. I hope the delivery doesn't end up the same though. I can't help myself freeking out about it a bit and I have already started to read up on ways to get the baby shifting. This one web site suggested these things!

1. Visualizing the baby moving down with the head very deep in your pelvis, several times a day; especially in conjunction with positions and exercises below.
2. Swimming as often as possible. This keeps your body and pelvis loose and relaxed. Do in conjunction with headstand below if you have help.
3. Headstand - with assistance and in a pool frequently as possible.
4. Breech Tilt - begin at 32-35 weeks gestation. Do 3 times daily for 10-15 minutes each time, when you have an empty stomach, and the baby is active. Prop one end of an ironing board securely on a sofa or chair 12 to 18 inches high (or may use slant board). Lie down, bend knees but keep feet flat on board. Relax, breathe deeply, avoid tensing. May also use pillows on a flat surface to raise hips 12-18" above shoulders. Gravity pushes the baby's head into the fundus, tucks it, and baby can then do a somersault to a vertex position.
5. CD/iPod headphones - place them inside mom's pants toward her pubic bone and play classical music for 10 minutes 6-8 times a day.
6. Flashlight - try moving slowly down from the top of the uterus toward your pubic bone while you are in a breech tilt position.
7. Massage - start with your left hand at the bottom of the abdomen and your right hand just above it. Move move your hands clockwise around the right side of your tummy. As your right hand reaches the top of your abdomen, slide the left one over your right and move it down the left side of your tummy. Your left hand leads as you you come full circle, continuing clockwise. Massage gently as you would to apply lotion. Massage for ten minutes or more up to several times each day.
8. Clothespin - place on the small toe of each foot at the outside corner of the toenail; sideways so that the toenail and toepad are stimulated for 30 minutes per day, this is an acupressure point that is a "moving down" point. You can also do this with just finger pressure as you remember to do it.
9. Motion Sickness band - place with the bead four fingerwidths above the inner ankle bone - another acupressure point that is used for stimulation of the uterus. Do not use this point if you are experiencing any pre-term labor.
10. Glass of orange or other juice - follow this with a side-lying position with your hips positioned higher than your feet. Babies move more after a sugar high!
11. Pelvic Tilt- with an ice pack on the top of your tummy on an empty stomach, 10 minutes twice a day. Do this while lying on your back on the floor with knees flexed and feet on the floor with three large pillows placed under your buttocks. Try this in conjunction with headphones and visualization.
12. Cat stretch - start with all fours, then lay your head and chest flat on the floor with your buttocks in the air, as you round your back and return to all fours.
13. Knee-chest position - by kneeling with hips flexed slightly more than 90 degree, but with thighs not pressing against your tummy and your head, shoulders and upper chest are flat on a mattress for 15 minutes every two waking hours for five days.
14. Belly Relaxing followed by Inversion - Partner places a shawl, sheet, towel or rebozo under mom's hips as she lays on the floor. Lift up on the corners of the cloth and shimmy her from side to side moving your hands up and down to wiggle her belly from side to side. These should be very small movements which mom should find very relaxing. Do this for about 5 minutes. Then mother kneels on the stairway landing. Walk your hands down 2 or 3 stairs into an all fours position; have your partner support your shoulders to balance you. Remain in this position for about 5-10 minutes or as long as comfortable. Also do this on an empty stomach.
The following techniques to turn breech babies to vertex involve the assistance of a specialist or medical professional:
15. Acupuncture - find a acupuncturist who is familiar with pregnancy and knows the points to stimulate for turning a breech baby.
16. Webster's Breech Technique - see a Chiropractor who is experienced in this technique.
17. External Version - this can be done in the hospital at about 37 weeks; see an Ob-Gyn for assistance and more information.

I'm just really hoping it doesn't come to any of that, but I suppose I ought to be prepared. I need to stop getting myself worked up about it for now as like everyone says there is plenty of time for it to turn. Just want to cry though. I'll snap out of it, just a bit tired from all the excitement.

We had to wait for the photos, CD and DVD before Rob brought the car to the door for us to go home.

The Mums watched a repeat of the DVD in the back of our new car on the way home, which was pretty cool.

At home we tried to talk to Ellis about it but he was too interested in the ipad. Will try again tomorrow.

Hands and feet are puffy again tonight. Looks like that might be here to stay until the end. I'm going to be massive just like I was with Ellis. Ah well.

I'm off to do some handstands!

20 WEEK SCAN - 24 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

It's been a very long time between posts but I have been having trouble on deciding on how to actually write this one. I want to be honest about my feelings but I don't want to upset anyone that might read this. Very hard for me to explain. I was going to just cut and paste the story of the scan from topflumps, and I pretty much will but will elaborate on feelings etc.

So lets go back to the week of the scan, I hadn't been feeling quite right since my curry night with the girls but had nothing to show for it other than cramps, pains, and just generally feeling a bit sick.

Unfortunately it got rather worse on Friday which was a shame as it was the day of our 20 week scan (at 21+4 days). I was barely eating and just didn't feel right. I had quite dizzy spells too and just generally felt very tired all the time. I thought it was pregnancy related but maybe it was a bug.

Friday afternoon Mum came over at 2pm to take care of Leo and to pick Ellis up from school so that Rob and I could go for the scan. We got to the hospital and there were plenty of parking spaces which was lucky. We signed in and paid for some pictures. I wanted 4 and they were £4 each! Rob couldn't believe it when he received his change from a £20 note.

We sat waiting, me huffing and puffing because I felt so rotten and Rob huffing and puffing because of the cost of the pictures, before being called in quite quickly.

The ladies name was Tracy and she was very friendly. We went into a scan room we haven't been in before which was nice and I got up on the table and we could soon see our little Nugget on the screen.

We had a little look around and on examining the face we saw the mouth open and shut a few times. It was like it was talking to us! The examiner replayed the pictures and it was so funny to see. It's going to be a chatterbox like Ellis.

Rob's face was about an inch away from the monitor as he was trying to hunt down the male or female parts. I really didn't want to know and was so determined not to find out but after showing us the skull, brain, eyes, mouth, heart, kidneys, there it was. Both Rob and I said at the same time "it's a boy then?!" I've seen it's got a willy. Tracy laughed a bit nervously as she hadn't told us to look away etc and it was pretty obvious as she was zooming up and down the babies legs to kidneys area that there was indeed a penis.

All 3 or us spent a long time talking about it being our 3rd little boy and how my life was doomed to be seriously outnumbered, forever blue with toilet seats up and rowdy boys running and jumping around. Rob quickly turned to me and said "don't think you will be getting a 4th because of this!". I was genuinely not surprised that it was another boy but I so wish we hadn't found out at that moment as I felt the tiniest bit of excitement dissipate. The thought and hope that it could have been a little girl were gone and I now have a few months to get used to the idea of another boy.

Tracy took some pictures and at the end said she had gone a bit overboard taking pictures and not to tell the front desk. I was quite excited about that but she actually only went overboard by 1. We had 5 pictures and 4 of them are the same front on view of the skull. No hand or foot, side on profile, body, nothing. I wish I had thought to ask at the time but we were so busy talking about it being a boy that I forgot.

Back at home we told the boys and Mum the news which was all rather exciting and then I started to receive text message replies to a message I had sent out telling everyone else what had happened. I had some lovely responses back and one from Sophie (AB) made my Mum and I cry. Lush.

I had a lot of messages saying, better luck next time, have to go for a 4th then etc but I think 3 boys is enough for anyone thank you. Chances are the 4th would be a boy anyway. There was only a 1:4 chance of this one being a boy.

I am very happy that the baby appears normal and healthy and I know that pink, or blue, babies are a blessing. This still didn't stop me from crying in Asda about the fact that I would never get to buy pink stuff. It sounds so silly as I am a Mum of such amazing children that I should be sad about this stuff. Some people can't even have children of their own or struggle for a very very long time to get one, which is why I have really been struggling with my feelings recently. I feel very guilty that I am crying and upset that I will never get to experience having a daughter or being able to buy pink things when some people can't buy or experience any of it! I can't help the way I feel though and I have been a bit sad.

I shared with Rob some of what I was feeling but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what to say. Plus it's not something he can just fix so it must be hard for him.

I will obviously get over it and I can't wait to meet my baby in March. In fact recently I seem to be wishing the time to come sooner. With the past 2 pregnancies I wanted to savour every minute but this time, although I am enjoying it for the most part, I just want him here. I want to see what he looks like, I want to give him cuddles and I want the boys to meet him.

So having said all that, I now need to get up-to-date with how I have been since then.

I am currently 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

My boobs and butt don't look like that!

23 week bump picture which I forgot to put on sidebar.

I have really started to feel Nugget move in the last 2 weeks. So much later than with the first 2. I try all the time to just stop for a minute to feel it but during the day when Leo is awake it is very difficult as he comes over and just gives it a wack. Ellis is better but he does jump around a lot which makes my belly wobble anyway.

I can now see the movement from outside too which has also taken a while this time and the other strange thing for me is that all the kicks and prods are very low down. I mean on my c-section scar and below! Way too low I think. Maybe from all the hard pushing with Leo, everything has sagged down that little bit further, as I know my bladder has.

Bladder is working ok. I don't get leaks but it doesn't really tell me when I need to go so when I do go I can be there for ages and I realise that I probably should have gone sooner.

I am having to get up in the night to wee too which I have never done before either. So many different things this time! Apart from the sex of the baby obviously.

The baby jumps at loud noises now so when the boys shout or something gets dropped I feel it jump about. I love feeling the movements. It doesn't get any more special than that.

My bump this time isn't very attractive, according to me anyway. I have a funny over hang at the bottom and my stretch marks are disgusting. I actually find it quite depressing how vile my skin is. I was hoping not to get any new ones this time but I'm quite itchy as the skin is stretching so maybe I will. I cream and oil up all the time so I can't be told I haven't tried to stop them.

Over the last week or so my pelvis pain under my left buttock has really kicked in. Some days it is quite bad and I hobble around like a very old person. Other days it just twinges every now and then. I'm trying really hard to do my exercises and I have a physio appointment soon so I will probably be told to wear my stretchy bandage which should help a bit for a while, hopefully. I'm also trying to not complain about it too much as when I was pregnant with Leo I was always going on about it. It's just one of those things that happens to me and I have to get on with it. As long as baby comes out ok and I'm alright, it doesn't matter. I really would love to get my stomach sorted out after though. Might look into that. Not for cosmetic reasons although that would be nice but for health reasons really. My stomach muscles are shot from 3 pregnancies, being cut for a c-section and cut for an appendectomy. Hopefully they could do something about my bladder too. That's all a long way off yet.

I am hoping to go for a 4d scan this time. We didn't with the others as we didn't have the cash but I really would like to have one done. I've found a good place recommended to us and it isn't stupidly priced. Will look into booking that soon and hopefully Mum's could come too or something.

I am also going to go back to my Active Birthing classes but I'm not quite sure when to start. Might leave it until after Christmas but then that only gives me 2 whole months! Might be enough to get my head in gear. If anything I'm feeling too cocky this time and need to be careful that I'm not over confident. Every time is a new time. Baby might be breach yet for all I know!

Right, done it now. Might leave a bit of a gap again unless something interesting happens.

HALFWAY - 20 WEEKS

The baby measures about 6.5 inches/ 16.5 centimetres from crown to rump and is steadily gaining weight. A whitish coat of a slick, fatty substance called vernix caseosa begins to cover the baby and protects the skin during its long immersion in amniotic fluid. It also eases delivery. The baby's swallowing more this week, good practice for the digestive system. After your baby takes in amniotic fluid, its body absorbs the water in the liquid and moves the rest into the large bowel.

Here are the 20 week bump pictures and measurements.

Now...



...before.



Measurements:

Weight = 12st 9lb (+14lbs) - WHAT!
Tummy = 96cm (+2.5cm)
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 63cm (+2cm)
Ankle = 24cm (+.5cm)
Neck = 33cm (+.5cm)

I'm not too keen on doing the measurements, but I've started so I'll finish.

One think I love about my growing size are my boobs! I want to keep them please. They are full and actually have some shape to them. Please stay boobs.

I did a video diary for a change. It's about 8 minutes long but I talk constantly so it passes quite quickly.

NEW - 19 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Nugget has been kicking me loads today which has been lush and I've tried to stop what I'm doing and just enjoy it for a bit. Certainly makes it more real to know there is a little thing in there wriggling and kicking about.

As of today, we have decided not to find out the sex of our baby. I know I will find it very hard but I'm actually very excited to find out what it is after going through the hard work of giving birth. I'm still reasonably high risk for having a normal delivery so if for any reason I need to have a c-section again, finding out what we have after might soften the blow a bit. I know I am thinking way ahead! I will buy a girl going home outfit though, just in case. ;o)

Nic had her baby boy, Harry James, 8lb 14oz in the early hours of Thursday morning. She was due to go into hospital to be induced on the Thursday so luckily she missed that. He is so cute.

Loving being pregnant and so far so good. Don't want to jinx it too much.

Seeing as I've decided what I'm doing re finding out the sex, I have now changed the poll question to what do you think we are going to have? Please vote.

Feeling tired quite a bit but the boys are waking up early, before 6am which is always a killer to see 5 something on my phone.

The new car has now gone. The garage wouldn't pay for the repairs so they asked for the car back in the end. Rob drove up this morning and got the train back. It's a bit of a shame as we are now back to car hunting. BOO!

Hopefully we will find something soon as it tends to make Rob rather unsettled. He just can't stop thinking about it, surfing about it etc.. I'm not that worried. We have plenty of time before we actually need a bigger car, so I can wait.

Not long until the 20 week scan. Can't wait to see Nugget again. Hopefully all will be okay and then it will just be trying to enjoy it until D day. Exciting stuff.

ALREADY - 14 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Absolutely shattered today. Partly my fault though so I have tried not to complain too much, but I have moaned about it most of the day. In fact I didn't speak to Rob this evening as I text him to say there wasn't much point as I was too grumpy.

Pelvis started clicking a few days ago which is bad news and I strained it a bit running around the garden with the boys on Sunday. Trying very hard to nurse it and hopefully it will settle down again. I'm doing better than I was with Leo anyway.

I've been doing my tummy exercises religiously and my gap between muscles is still what it was which is excellent news. I checked to make sure I was referred to the physio but I still haven't heard. Should hopefully find my stretchy bandages in one of the loft bags that currently reside in my bedroom, so I can start wearing that which will help even more.

I so can't wait to feel it move. Every evening I sit still and focus, to see if I can feel anything, but nothing yet. Still very early but I did feel Leo around this time, so you never know.

Fat jeans are way too big and fall down and my normal jeans are cutting in and hurting me so not sure what to do. I don't want to buy maternity jeans just yet so will see what I have in my bags of clothes first.

Have bump pictures to post but haven't got round to putting them on the PC yet, so will do that in the next few days.

Feeling very excited still and can't wait to meet this new little person, but I just want to enjoy the pregnancy for now as it may well be the very last time I will experience it. It is for only a short time really although it can feel like forever when you are 30 + weeks and all puffy and achy.

Ages until the 20 week scan and I will be nearly 21 weeks anyway. Still not sure if we are going to find out the sex or not. It plays on my mind every day. Not in a bad way though.

Right, I'm off to do next to nothing even though I would love to do some blogging. Enough is enough for one day.

CONSULTANT - 13 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Mum and Dad were here nice and early this morning and we left straight away. My appointment was at 9am so luckily the 2+ lane was open and we got there just on time. We found a parking space right next to the building and went in.

I checked in, and within minutes I was called. Baby Nugget was soon on the screen wriggling about, arms and legs going everywhere. The hand was on the screen for ages and this is the image that remains in my mind, soooo cute! The usual checks were done and I was told that I am 13 weeks today and not 13 +1. I'm not going to change my date though. I will keep it to what the Consultant told me on Friday. So my due date changed to 15th March.

You have to buy the pictures in advance at £4 each and you have to decide how many you want. I found this whole process very annoying as I wanted to see the pictures before I bought them. I got 2 in the end but not of what I wanted. She zoomed in right on the skull and had a good frontal picture of the face which is what I wanted. I should have asked, but never mind.

These are the pictures we got today.

Back in the waiting room, we sat for 2 seconds before being called by the consultant.

We had a little chat about the past 2 pregnancies and I mentioned that I had slightly high blood pressure at the end of my pregnancy with Ellis so the consultant decided that I should have fortnightly BP checks with my midwife from 20 weeks! He is having a laugh! I had no problems with Leo so I won't be doing that.

He didn't check my pee or BP which they did last time with Leo and we were sent on our way. We got home an hour after leaving which was great!

I have to go back at 36 weeks to see the consultant to talk about induction or c-section and then I have my 20 week scan in the first week of November. Can't wait!

Feeling really happy but totally exhausted. When Rob is away I have to wait until I could fall asleep standing up before going to bed, especially in the new house as all the new sounds and bangs keep me awake. I wake a lot in the night too so I ended up starting the day off tired. It's 9:45pm and I'm ready for bed but still got some blogging to do.

Now that people are reading and hopefully catching up, I can post more as I want this to be my diary where I can just spew my guts.

It was lush seeing Nugget again today and I can't wait for the 20 week scan. I so hope I feel it move before then.

Rob and I are starting to discuss if we should find out the sex or not. I think I would like to get organised with clothes and stuff if it is a girl but then if it is a boy we need to start thinking of a name as we struggle. I don't know, it would be lush to have a surprise but it is just too long to wait. Also if it is a girl I won't have time to go shopping for pink things, which I would want to do. Oh no, what am I going to do. Must put it to a vote I think. Please vote in the poll to help me decide!

POSITIVE!

MISSED

Defo missed it now. Hubby pissy with me so it wasn't to be tonight. Another month gone. Which means bigger age gap between Leo and Nugget, BOO!

Shit happens.

BABY BOAT

Think we missed the baby boat this cycle. Mainly because I've been ill but also because Rob works away so much! Think that may really hinder the active trying! Ah well, what will be will be.

Feeling a bit better today. Not great but not dying either. Hopefully on the mend now. Just need to eat more and get some energy back.

Rob's home tomorrow night and he already has his orders! He certainly isn't complaining! Haha!

Sally gave birth to her little boy this morning, 18 days early! William James, 6lb 12oz. I so want to hear her birth story but I will just have to be patient. Certainly getting broody now!

ILL

Feeling really ill at the moment. I haven't felt this bad since I had my chest infection one Christmas. My body is just hurting. Thankfully Rob is helping out.

That didn't stop us having an attempt last night though, although tonight may be out of the question. Basically because my cycle is up the swanny we just have to do it all the time! Maybe tomorrow instead.

THANK GOD!

Period now finished thank God. It was a horrible one. Hopefully I'm all cleared out and ready to have a baby in there now. Just need to get on with it I suppose. Working out any type of cycle is just going to be impossible so I might do the temperature thing and just keep an eye on my discharge.

On Thursday I saw Mum and she did her usual question of "not having any more?" and I had to really talk it up that I was going to get rid of the stuff etc. and that I was happy just being the 2 boys and that things were easier now and that I was just going to get on with living and not creating more life. I don't want to lie to her but I would like her to have a nice surprise.

I so want to tell everyone!

Feeling really down about my body size/shape. Need to just bite the bullet and get on with my diet and exercise now! I'm just finding it so hard. I'll get there in the end.

Still not sleeping well, not sure why really but it is really effecting me. Hopefully get a good night tonight but I doubt it as it is already quite late and I have to wait for Rob to get home from my Mum and Dad's to let him in.

Fingers crossed that this is the month. Will be tricky to hide if we do as I have a hen weekend and 3 weddings to get through but I could do it.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

Been feeling really disappointed and confused since doing the test. If I'm not pregnant, which according to that I'm not, then where is my period? I have never missed a period, apart from when I was pregnant with the 2 boys and this will be the longest cycle ever! What is going on?

I think I'm on day 37 at the moment. Maybe I did the test too soon. I mean we only had sex 2 weeks ago. How long do I wait before I do another one? I just can't get my head around it all. I shouldn't really be doing my head in about it anyway. What will be will be and we said we would just be relaxed about it all and see what happens.

Went out tonight for Naomi's surprise 30th meal. I tried really hard to be my usual, trying to be funny self but I'm not sure I managed it. I didn't drink just in case which wasn't hard to hide as everyone barely had a drop anyway. It did help to keep my mind off it quite a lot but then again there were 2 pregnant ladies there so we talked about it a lot. I did get to feel Sally's baby moving though which was a highlight of the evening.

Right, need to get my make-up off and get to bed as I have to look after the little munchkins in the morning.

DENIAL

I wonder how long I can leave it before doing a test?! How long can I keep denying it!? I really can't believe it if I am. It's crazy. One quicky at the end of my cycle and duddah!

Obviously that would be amazing and I am truly blessed to be able to get pregnant just like that when I know so many others struggle. I read a lot of infertility blogs and I really feel for them. I sort of understand why they feel so guilty now when they do get pregnant and get scared of announcing it so as not to upset their fellow blog readers. It's a tricky one.

I was thinking in the shower last night (which is where I do the most thinking) and I was suddenly feeling really guilty. I felt sorry for Ellis and Leo. They will have to share Mummy even more and I felt like I missed a bit of Ellis growing up when Leo was born as I was struggling to cope with a new baby. I don't want to miss a moment of them growing up! What will be different this time? It will be hard but I think it wont be as big a shock as going from one to two. With Rob still being away 3 nights a week will make things that bit harder and we still haven't found a house we like. There is just nothing coming on! I'm sure it will all work out.

I weighed this morning. Not happy at all. I was 11st 12lbs. 5lbs over my target weight! Rob has set up running machine now so hopefully will start on that soon.

MIGHT BE?

I might be pregnant! How crazy is that! Basically we started trying for Nugget earlier than originally planned. I just thought I'm right at the end of my cycle, what are the chances!? I suppose it only takes one time. Time will tell. Very excited if I am.

I haven't taken a 0 week picture for a few reasons. Obviously we have already started trying and I haven't taken one yet but I will do. I'm just really disappointed in myself. I haven't got rid of my baby weight from Leo yet which I'm not happy about. I know it's down to me to do and I did get within 3/4 lbs of my target weight but then I just put it all back on. Still have 1/2 a stone to go to target weight. I wanted to do measurements like last time as a comparison but I'm not sure I want to see the differences.

I finished feeding Leo a while ago now and my milk has dried up which is strange as they have been leaking since I first got pregnant with Ellis in 2006! My boobs aren't what they once were and I don't like them but Rob does so that's good. They are still the same size but certainly not the same shape.

My biggest worry is the size of my flabby belly. Fat and skin. And the skin is horrible as it is covered in stretch marks. Not a pleasant sight and I suppose I should try and get used to it.

Really looking forward to being pregnant again and who knows in 2 weeks time I might be! I really don't think so though. I don't think I'm going to bother working out my ovulation dates and stuff this time. I might just leave it to fate. See what happens. I don't want to be living my life by a monthly cycle and getting my hopes up all the time. I also don't want my thoughts taken over with am I or aren't I etc.

Most people will be surprised I think although those closest to me probably won't be. Charlotte hasn't been convinced by my crappy lies about not having any more babies and there are quite a few people that know we are going for a 3rd. Most of the AB girls know, my yoga lot and Caroline. That's quite a lot really. I won't tell them I'm actually pregnant though until I've told family and a few other important people in my life.

I keep thinking I would like to do things different this time. Not calculating my ovulation dates is one already, not telling anyone is different too. Also I thought I might do the test on my own and then tell Rob in a nice way, some how. Or I might not tell anyone and just wait for bump to tell everyone. I wonder how far along I could get before anyone asks? Not long with a gut my size already.

My last period came and went with no problems. It wasn't heavy or that painful which was good.

I was starting to get a bit impatient with waiting until the end of May but now that we have brought it forward a bit I'm okay. I think due date if we were successful this month would be early February. Not sure and I'm not going to be doing that every month either. Plus I have loads of events and things coming up this summer that I will need to make sure if I'm pregnant or not before I go. I have a hen weekend, a pre hen night, 2 weddings etc etc.

Today I went shopping and I bought a dress for the weddings! I'm really stupid as I might not be fitting them in 2 months time so I'm going to have to take them back and going shopping nearer the time.

It's all good though and I'm feeling rather positive about it all. Yes it will be very hard, extremely hard even, but I think the shock of going from 1-2 kids is going to be far greater than just adding to the bunch. Bring it on!

ONLY 10 DAYS!

I have so much that I want to write about but I'm aware that I wanted to keep these blog entries short and sweet, well short anyway.

My periods haven't yet returned and I'm putting that down to the fact that I'm still feeding Leo 3 times a day. I certainly get a lot of the old pains down there but nothing to show for it.

I keep accidentally forgetting to take my pill or taking it late. Our sex life isn't exactly at its greatest so I'm not too worried and always tell Rob when I have missed one as like I said before I don't want to be accused of anything untoward.

I have been trying, not too hard, to put people off of the idea that I will be having any more children. I'm quite sure that no one believes me but ah well.

All of the trying to put people off was actually starting to put me off too! I have been having a huge struggle with Ellis recently and I have found it all too much at times. To even consider adding to my work load seemed insane, but as soon as I have a good day I just know that I want more.

I really need to talk to Rob about it all again but there just never seems to be a good time at the moment. Basically if we want a similar age gap between Leo and Nugget, we would need to start trying at the end of May, which would mean coming off my pill and starting folic acid at the end of this month! That's only 10 days away!

I really wanted to improve my fitness before hand but I just don't have the time or energy for it at the moment. My weight remains around 12st but I'm sure in 3 months I could have that down to 11st 7lbs. Once we have decided a time we are going to start trying, then I will have a goal. I work so much better when I have an aim.

Would really love to move house now. I would love bigger rooms for the boys, a room for all the computer rubbish and a nicer garden by the summer. We are looking but nothing has really grabbed us. I'm quite excited about moving.

That's it for now. I have loads more I want to put but feeling a bit too tired now.