HEAVY - 3 WEEKS, 6 DAYS OLD

The last few nights I've been tying to get Oscar to settle in his own bed. The first night which was Monday worked out really really well. He had a bath with the big boys, had a big feed after story time then went in his crib for the first time and stayed there! He didn't wake for ages and I fed him around 10ish and then just before midnight and on both occasions he went back down in his bed.

Then last night I tried to do a similar thing but it just didn't work out. He didn't end up being settled in bed until 10pm and then tonight he had a bath with his big brothers, had a feed and I tried to put him down but he wasn't having any of it. 2 nappy changes and 2 feeds later I eventually got him in bed at nearly 10pm! I had been trying from 7:15pm! I did manage to have a shower and wash my hair but I could hear him crying the whole time.

Sara the health visitor came yesterday. She is really nice and I've seen her loads of times before with Leo. We went through lots of leaflets and information and answered loads of questions about health etc. Oscar was weighed and he was 9lb 7oz which is following along the 75 centile line, pretty much the same as Ellis.

Sara mentioned that if I get very heavy discharge, stringy discharge or lots of blood/clots that I could have an infection. Well as it happens I've started to get stringy discharge so I'll ring her tomorrow just to double check that is what she said.

We talked a lot about feeding and about how Oscar is very colicky and has green poo because of it. He does cry a lot and I've started him on Infacol to see if that will help.

We won't be seeing Sara now for another 2 weeks but it will be a home visit which is nice.

Rob went to register Oscar yesterday afternoon so it is now official, yay!

Can't believe how quickly baba is growing. He is in size 2 nappies now and will shortly be wearing 0-3 month clothes. I really will need to buy clothes for him though as he is totally out of season with the clothes I used for the older boys. All the newborn outfits I have are short sleeved, short legged rompers and short dungarees and little t-shirts. Really not warm enough for a newborn so he is living in grows which to be honest is just the easiest thing anyway.

I've already started to get sad about getting rid of all my baby/maternity stuff. I will have to do it one day but I just can't let go yet, so I won't. I can bag/box it up and get rid when I'm sure we have finished, in about 10 years from now!

Blogging progress is still very slow but I feel like I have to do these little updates before I forget it all! I have notes for the first week or so of Oscar's life so I can do that any time.

Going to phone the car insurers tomorrow to see if they will let me drive. Fingers crossed. Think Rob is going back to work Monday so I will need to start lifting Leo soon. He isn't too heavy though so shouldn't be too bad.

Late night again but if I want to get anything done then that's just how it will have to be.

TOUGH GOING - 3 WEEKS, 4 DAYS OLD

I really am trying to do blogging but it would seem that my evenings are going to be taken up with feeding, burping and changing. I can't type one handed so I'm just going to have to try and do some during the day, hence this entry which I'm manically trying to type out while Oscar is sleeping, Ellis is watching TV and Leo is in hospital with Daddy. Long story which will eventually be told.

So just to catch up, things are still manic at home. I'm recovering well but I have been over doing it recently and I'm achy and sore by the evening. I keep forgetting that I am recovering from surgery.

The health visitor phoned to arrange an appointment but then I had a further call a few days later to say that they had to rearrange it and it isn't until tomorrow now so I haven't seen anyone for ages now! I have no idea how heavy Oscar is.

So yes, he now has a name. Oscar Wallace, and we will be registering him tomorrow afternoon. I didn't force the issue with Rob, I just asked him to consider it and he said that I could have it. The middle name became an issue again but Rob eventually got bored of thinking about names so agreed Wallace too. I said if we have another baby, he can name it, unless it's a girl then I must have a say.

I'm working on my birth story and subsequent days in hospital but it's slow going and the entries are going to be massive!

I'm still rather large, 13st 2lbs yesterday and my normal weight is around 11st 7lbs so have a long way to go yet.

I managed to get my size 12 jeans on on Saturday. I really couldn't breathe, bend or sit down though and they wouldn't be comfortable to wear for a long time but it was a nice boost for me. That being said, my eating is terrible! I can't stop eating chocolate and cake etc. It's really not like me.

My hair hasn't started to fall out yet which is great and my bleeding stopped a couple of weeks ago which was really early I thought.

The scar is looking quite good. There is one area that hasn't healed yet but it's getting there. My belly is minging though and always will be.

I've put my wedding ring back on but it is still rather tight. Engagement ring will definitely not fit for a while yet. I'm not ready to diet or watch my eating. I just have too much on my mind to worry about it.

Rob went back to work, just for Thursday and Friday morning and my Mum came over to stay with us to help out, because I still can't lift Leo and I can't drive. It was great to have her here.

I slept on the sofa the night Mum was here. It actually worked really well as I didn't have to get in and out of bed to reach Oscar and I was really comfortable. I tried it Saturday night too but it don't go very well at all. Oscar just ate and ate and ate and wouldn't settle, not even on me. I think he may have been trying to increase my milk supply as I had none left on the night time but I have noticed that yesterday and today my boobs seem fuller. They will hopefully die down a bit soon.

Oscar is a very very windy baby and so I decided to give Infacol a go. It may do nothing but it makes me feel better that I'm doing something. He is screaming now because of wind and it makes things very tricky as in between feeds he doesn't really sleep soundly for any amount of time. It's still early days I know and I'm sure things will improve. You really do forget how hard the early days are.

Just having a newborn baby would be hard on it's own but we have Ellis and Leo too. The pressure has really been put on us recently with me having the section, Rob being ill, Leo and Ellis were ill then they got better, then when Mum was staying with me Ellis hurt his ankle and had to go to A&E then Leo fell from his stool and hit his head then started to be sick, so he went to A&E and has since been sick again so has gone back to A&E today! It all happens at once! Ellis is still limping away and running with his foot turned in, Rob is still at A&E as I type this but should shortly be coming home, I'm sore and achy from doing too much yesterday and today and Rob is struggling too. We seem to be quite up beat though considering everything.

I'm really not looking forward to Rob going back to work. It's going to be hard.

LIST - 32 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

I have an expanding list of things I want to talk about on here so I better get on with it before I forget what I wanted to say. It won't really flow as I'm following a list and will just write about each one.

Gas - with my first 2 pregnancies I always had gas going up and down but this time around I haven't suffered from it and luckily, so far, I haven't had any indigestion which is great.

Aches & Pains - everyone gets them I'm sure. This time I have been getting lower back ache if I've been standing for a long time but to be honest I get that when I'm not pregnant too. It isn't too bad though. The biggest issue is the burning, stinging, stabbing pelvis pain. Sometimes it is horrendous. The worse time by far is when trying to get comfy in bed or turning over, oh and getting dressed and undressed. It is so painful and you know you have to feel it as you have to move. So I just grit my teeth, feel the pain and usually groan or let out some air. It isn't nice and I will stop going on about it but I have to write about it as a reminder for next time! ;o)

Preparing siblings - I feel like I haven't done enough of this with Leo and too much with Ellis. Ellis is always asking when is baby Ben going to arrive, is it spring yet etc etc and Leo just knows that my tummy is called baby. Pretty sure he doesn't know that there is a baby in there and that it will be coming out and home with us. I think he will be in for the biggest shock. Ellis really wants to be a helper and I hope he does as I will need it.

Baby position - I pretty much have no idea of baby's position other than the fact that all movement, kicks, prods etc is down on my c-section scar and below. It is so strange how low it is and it doesn't feel nice at all. I know there is time for baby to get in a proper position but it would be nice to feel some good movements and legs/arms sticking out etc. I have a midwife appointment in just under a week so should know more then, hopefully.

Rob has actually looked into purchasing an ultra sound machine so that I can put my mind at rest as I obsess about it every day. They go for £900 which isn't bad really as you can re-sell it. I've told him not to obviously.

Size - I've been told conflicting things about how I look size wise. Some say I look massive then go on to say but it's all up front and you don't look pregnant from behind. One lady today said I hardly looked pregnant! People say I don't look like I have put on any extra weight! Seriously! It would be nice to be made to feel better but when you know you have gained so much extra fat on your arse and thighs and I'm bloated everywhere else, you wonder why people are fibbing so badly. ;o) I just have to look at my hands I know I'm big.

Getting ready - Right, so I've started to do the washing and ironing and putting the clothes into Leo's current room. All of Leo's clothes are now in with Ellis' which makes it so much easier. I've been out shopping and bought a few bits, ordered the mattress and bought myself some pads and arnica. I've written a very long list of stuff for the hospital bag but I don't remember taking that much stuff last time. I'll post the list on here soon. Need to do a birthing plan, clean the crib, finish sorting the clothes, sort out a car seat as current one is broken, pack hospital bag and I also need to work out what I'm going to do if labour starts and Rob is away etc. I mean Mum and Dad are 20 minutes drive away so add on getting out the house, 30 minutes, and Uncle Dave isn't much closer, if I can get hold of him. Sally has kindly said she would let me know when she could be free which is great as she is a lot closer, but it is still a worry. Hopefully it will start Friday afternoon or something, that way Rob will be home and I won't have to worry about any of it. I seem to have quite long labours but this time might be really fast, you just never know and it's best to be prepared.

AB Classes - went back to my first active birthing class on Tuesday. I made the silly mistake of walking down the very dark lane to get to the barn, ended up scaring the shit out of myself, causing me to run and hurt my pelvis. The class went well though. We heard a birth story at the beginning, drank tea, ate chocolate, talked about breathing techniques at the end for 2 minutes and introduced ourselves etc. It was really nice to be back but strange at the same time. I felt like a know it all and I sat there nodding my head a lot of the time. I'll keep going for now as it is nice to think about this baby and this pregnancy and I do need to get my head prepared for the labour of labour.

Appetite - this is going up and down and all over the place. Some days I really could just drink water all day and be fine, other days 2 chocolate bars, 3 packets of crips, tons of fruit etc are just not enough. I haven't weighed and I don't intend to until 35 weeks. I think with Leo I weighed a lot so was much more conscious of what was happening but this time I'm just going with the flow. Not worried about weight gain at all as long as I don't go stupid. I'm pretty sure I can lose it again with a bit of will power and I'm planning to do it by having an eating plan ready so that I can stick to it. It's something like this:

Breakfast - Porridge or Oat cereal with a banana

Fruit snack mid morning

Lunch - Sandwich with low fat crisps and yoghurt or soup with 2 bits of toast and yoghurt

Healthy mid afternoon snack

Dinner - Not overly fussed about this but pasta and sauce or fish or something like that.

I'll make sure to drink plenty of water too as I will hopefully be breastfeeding and will need to keep hydrated.

Cravings - I really want to be crunching away on some crushed ice just like I did with Leo but unfortunately we don't have the ice dispenser hooked up so no ice. :o(

Boobs - these things are massive but I'm still in my normal bras. I do have 4 boobs though and they barely cover my nipples, but I'm still in them. I will switch to my bigger bras soon.

Spots - maybe it is to do with my appetite/eating but I have suddenly started to get lots of spots again. I usually get a few spots anyway but in recent weeks I haven't had any so I noticed them when they returned. Hopefully they will go again soon.

Swollen - now this is going to sound very strange but I'm sure this is pretty normal that my down below bits are a bit swollen. I think I remember having it with Ellis but not sure. It isn't uncomfortable or anything but just a bit weird. My legs, hands, feet, face and neck are definitely puffy. I have bad sock marks and my stringy bit as I call it from my big toe is slowly disappearing. Plus you can feel that your skin is being stretched. Oh the joys of pregnancy!

The boys - as the time of the new arrival is fast approaching I've become really aware that my chance to spend quality time with the 2 boys is diminishing very quickly and I'm feeling a little bit sad about it. I'm really trying my best to give them lots of attention and one on one time as soon Mummy time will have to be split again. Hopefully Daddy will take up the slack in the first couple of weeks so that I can settle into some sort of routine so that I can still spend good time with them as well as keep on top of everything else. I know this isn't going to be easy but I'll cope. I'll have to.

Done - I'm still pregnant and I already think that I'm done, as in 3 boys will be enough for me. As much as I would love to have a little girl, I don't think I can go through all this again for the very slight chance that it might happen. I've always said I wouldn't have children just to have a certain sex, and I stand by that. I would never say never though and it is just left open for now. Would have to see how it all works out anyway. I would want a slightly bigger gap too as I think my body needs a rest from pregnancy and/or breastfeeding, which it has been doing since October 2006! I will get rid of some stuff after this one. I will keep some special outfits and things but everything else can go.

32 weeks - In general I'm feeling good. Up and down emotionally, very paranoid and I feel like I'm not working hard enough on some of my friendships but I'm just very consumed with everything right now. It sounds like a rubbish excuse but I just can't fit everything in. That doesn't mean that I'm too busy doing other stuff it just means that I can't cope with it all. My brain is overloaded.

I really have a good waddle going on now and I'm aware of my posture changing to a slightly leaning back position. I try to hold myself up high, pull in those pesky muscles and walk with my knees sometimes knocking. Sounds mental right?

I feel like I'm nearly at the end but I do have almost 8 weeks left, but they are ticking by so quickly. I'm trying to cherish the pregnancy but to be totally honest, apart from the pain in my pelvis and the horrible kicks to my bladder, I haven't really had too much time to think about it. I really want to make sure that I bond with this baby quite quickly and that I don't just see him as a little machine to deal with in amongst what I usually do, if that makes sense. I want him to be part of everything and not just a new chore. That sounds terrible I know but I'm just worried about spreading the love. I'm sure it will be just fine.

I have seriously waffled on but I did say my list was rather long. I must admit I did add to it as I went along.

Feeling happy but disorganised. Once I'm sorted out I will feel a lot more settled. I think I remember going through a phase like this with both pregnancies. Worrying about being a good Mum, worrying about everything really.

Going to put my feet up now and switch off for a bit.

SULKING - 30 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

God I wish this baby would move as I can't stand having my bits kicked! It stings and is just generally not a very nice feeling to be having. I'm missing out on seeing the feet sticking out and stuff. Humf :o( I'm sulking.

We went swimming today which was ace and I loved taking the weight off my bones. I'm hoping to go again next week too if Rob doesn't mind. I am also hoping it will help to free up some space so that baby can move about a bit. Didn't work today but I have a few weeks left.

It's scary how quickly the time is passing now and I'm feeling so relaxed about it all that I have forgotten that I do actually need to get a few things ready. I am not prepared at all. I'm going to hopefully make a start tomorrow if Rob can take Leo food shopping with him again then I can crack on with moving some clothes around and getting Leo's room to be the nursery. Well, half nursery. He will still sleep in there but all the babies stuff will be in there as a base.

I have washing to do a few things to buy I'm sure. I know I need pads but can't remember which ones were the best, I need nappies, and I'm sure some other things so I better start making some lists.

Sharon still has the bath mat with a seat thing but I don't really need that back yet and Sally has the bouncy chair. I think she may still be using it though but will ask her nearer the time. I think she has some sleeping bags too but pretty sure I won't be needing them straight away either. It's really strange as I can't seem to remember anything! It's like I'm doing it all again for the first time. I don't remember feeling like this with Leo. I remember being really organised and knowing what I needed, what I had etc. Better get a move on before I start panicking about it. (Sally & Shazza if you so happen to read this, it isn't a hint, you know I would ask you anyway x)

Pelvis is quite bad most days now and I hobble, wobble, waddle around. Sometimes I can't get up from the floor so I have been trying to change Leo's nappy on the table, and getting them dressed stood on the sofa and things like that. I have been a bit naughty the last 2 day not wearing my stretchy bandage but I just needed a break from it. It will be back on tomorrow.

It is very, very painful to turn over in bed. I try not to do it but my hip starts to ache if I lie on it for too long and currently I have a rather sore left arm from my flu jab I had on Thursday, so sleeping well is a bit tricky at the moment. It isn't helped by Leo still waking up during the night. I try to ignore him but it doesn't work as I end up lying there awake listening to him. We have got into the habit of bringing him in with us which long term isn't going to work as Nugget will more than likely be bed sharing every now and then as I will feed lying down and snoozing, like I did with the other 2. It will be a bit of a squeeze with wriggly Leo in the bed too.

Speaking of Leo, I really don't think I have prepared him enough. I used to show Ellis pictures and explain it all to him, keep telling him that his baby brother was going to come out etc etc. Leo kisses and cuddles bump but I'm sure he has no idea what is in there. I need to at least have a go at explaining it to him a bit. Ellis seems to grasp the idea that a baby is in there and might need to be cut out as this rate rather than coming out my middle. And yes I did tell him that is where babies come out. I didn't see the harm and he wasn't phased by it at all.

Wish I could have a flash forward to the labour and delivery. Just to see how it goes and that everything is all right.

Starting AB classes on 18th Jan for sure and my antenatal group sessions start at the beginning of February and thankfully my ace mates, Sally & Charlotte have agreed to watch the boys for me so that I can go. Cheers guys xxx

Right that's me done. Off to bed at just gone 11pm, not good but Rob is on the early shift tomorrow, hurrah!

NEW YEAR - 29 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

I'm getting really behind with this blog and things change so rapidly at this stage so I need to keep on top of it.

I'm comfortably in to the third and final trimester now and I am certainly starting to feel it.

Feet, hands and lower legs are swollen a lot of the time now and I think my face is puffy too.

I've not been well now for quite a few weeks and it has really brought me down. The boys haven't been sleeping through either so I haven't been getting any quality sleep. I had a lush lie in today though as I slept until gone 12pm! I obviously really needed it. But then today I've felt like I haven't quite woken up all day, a bit fuzzy.

If allowed to sleep, then I do sleep okay. I'm not uncomfortable and turning over doesn't hurt yet which is great news. I don't really turn over though and spend 99% of my time on my left side.

Since the scan I have been totally obsessed by what position the baby is in. I am constantly prodding and feeling to see if I can work it out. I'm pretty sure it still isn't head down and most of the movement happens on top of my bladder or slightly to the left. It isn't a nice feeling either and I'm feeling totally deprived of feeling all the lovely kicks and feet sticking out etc that I had with Leo. Makes me feel a bit sad. I do realise there is plenty of time for him to turn but I'm convinced he won't and it bugs me every day. I did find this though on my growingdollop blog.

Most babies are born headfirst, but at the end of pregnancy, around 3% to 4% are found to be breech. Before 37 weeks of pregnancy, breech presentation is much more common - about 20% of babies at 28 weeks are breech, and 15% at 32 weeks. Before term, which is defined as 37 weeks, it doesn't matter if the baby is breech, as there is always a good chance that she will turn spontaneously. Some babies do turn by themselves after this time, but it is much less likely, and some preparations should be made to decide how delivery is going to take place. About 10% to 15% of breech babies are discovered for the first time late in labour!

Not sure if I mentioned before but a couple of weeks ago my boobs started to sting on and off and I was pretty sure they would soon start to leak, and they have. I don't need to wear a pad or anything but when I shower I notice that first bit of milk is starting to leak out.

I'm actually not looking forward to breastfeeding this time. I don't really know the reasons why yet but when I do I will write them down.

I'm still wearing normal size 14 jeans but my maternity ones are definitely comfier. I wear mostly maternity tops and I'm generally sticking to the same things.

I went to my physio appointment and she measured my gap in my stomach muscles and I am at 5cms. The most it should be is 3cm so I am now wearing my stretchy bandage everyday. I haven't found it as uncomfortable to wear as I did first time around. I now just need to be careful and take care of my muscles. Hoovering and food shopping are the 2 big NOs. I don't have to see her again now, unless I have any problems, until after the birth.

I've also seen the midwife but it was such a fast appointment and I could just tell that she didn't want to be there and was just getting through her day. My tummy is measuring correct for my dates, blood pressure was 110/60 which is quite low for me and we heard the heart beat. She was supposed to take some blood but said she would leave it until next time. I see her next on 26th Jan and I will be just over 33 weeks.

I've started to get fizzy hands the last few days. I think this is just another pregnancy symptom and I remember getting it before. Doesn't last too long which is good.

Pelvis is still up and down. It isn't anything like it was with Leo thank God but I still have plenty of time to go. I does hurt, but I just ignore it as much as possible.

I've really started to slow down too. I can't do anything in a rush and it's an effort to get up. Not sure if that is because of the pregnancy or because I haven't been well for so long. I just don't have any umff. Hopefully it will come back soon as I still have so much to sort out before baba arrives.

Now that we are in the new year I must admit I am starting to shit myself. I'm really quite nervous about it all. I'm hoping this is just a stage and I will come out the other side but at the moment I keep getting butterflies and I want to cry. I'm not too worried about the labour it's just dealing with the end of the pregnancy, the recovery of birth and also looking after 3 young children. It's a very daunting prospect. I don't do a good enough job of looking after the house as it is and meal times are just crap, and I can only see it getting worse not better. It really worries me as I don't want to live in a dirty house and I need to make sure Rob has clothes ready for work, it just all feels like a lot. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared. I'm sure it will turn out fine and I will cope.

Off to bed now to try and keep up with getting some good sleep. Will hopefully do 30 week post with measurements and pictures.

25 WEEKS - 26 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

Right then here is my 25 week post when I am 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Better late than never!

Bump pictures and measurements first before chat.

Me with Ellis

Me with Leo

Me with Nugget.

Measurements with Leo

Weight = 12st 6lb
Tummy = 98cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 60cm
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 33cm

Measurements with Nugget

Weight = 13st! (+1st 5lbs!!!! SHIT!) With Leo pregnancy I had put on 12lbs at this stage.

Tummy = 100cm

Upper arm = 29cm

Upper leg = 63cm

Ankle = 23.5cm

Neck = 33.5cm

So overall I am much bigger than my second pregnancy but I did start off from a higher level anyway. Never mind, I'm sure when I'm looking after 3 children aged 3 1/2 and below I won't have too much time to eat and the weight will come back off a bit quicker than before.

I've started to shop a bit for Nugget and I will soon be getting his room ready, after Christmas actually but I'm at least thinking about it.

The crib is in from the garage which needs a clean and I have to purchase a new mattress. I won't bother with mattress covers as I have loads. Will have lots of washing to do though.

I don't have much to buy really. The newborn vests and grows are barely used so they will be fine. The next size up I might get rid of some but then again I might not.

I managed to find a do do which I love. It's the same as Leo's but a different colour.

And I think I bought a coming home outfit as the one used for Leo and Ellis is too summery.

I've also bought a snow suit, which is lush! It isn't too thick so should get away with it for the first month. It didn't cost too much money so don't worry Sally.

I was supposed to see the physio and the midwife the week commencing 29th November but Leo was unwell, and still is, so I changed it and the midwife appointment was working out to be too much hassle right before Ellis' swimming lesson so I changed that too. She couldn't fit me in until 23rd December and I'll be just over 28 weeks by then. I haven't seen her since 16 weeks. That's a huge gap but normal for subsequent pregnancies apparently.

Pelvis pain has been up and down. Mostly up though and I can't complain. I do hobble about and I walk as though one leg is longer than the other. It also takes me a few steps when I get up to loosen up a bit so that I can walk freely. I haven't been wearing my stretchy bandage thing as I don't think I need it yet.

With this pregnancy I am certainly getting more painful muscle twinges. I only had it a couple of times with Leo. It's like an electric shock running down the right side of my belly button. I know it's to do with the diastases (which you can read about here) and it won't be getting better until baby is out.

Overall though at the moment I must admit that apart from hobbling and feeling a few twinges, stings etc I am feeling fine. I don't even notice I'm pregnant half the time and sometimes when I'm stretching first thing in the morning and Nugget gives me a "gentle" kick to the bladder I suddenly remember what is going on in there. Please don't think I don't think about him as I do, a lot.

My bump is massive! It really sticks out quite a long way, so does my arse and thighs mind you. I measured it yesterday, my bump that is, and I think I'm about 2 weeks over on my size! I hope I'm wrong. Ellis and Leo weren't huge babies though. They were both overdue, Leo was 8lb 1 1/2 ounces and Ellis was 7lb 13 1/2 ounces. Which is about average apparently.

I don't like the look of my bump this time for a few reasons. The excess skin from Leo hangs out at the bottom which is just plain weird and my stretch marks are horrific to me. I love looking at it with clothes on but unlike the first 2 pregnancies I tend to keep it covered up. I often catch Rob looking at it though and because I'm paranoid I think he is thinking the same thing but he says he loves it. He said he thinks it's the cutest bump I've had. That was sweet to say so.

Nugget is kicking a lot more but 99.9% of the movement is down towards my bladder and just above my pubic bone. It's very strange and I hope it moves up a bit soon so I can video some of the movement. I have had a go but it isn't working just yet. Still have time.

Boobs are huge too! They look funny really but I like them. Need to get down to Perfect Fit for a new under wired bra. I know I shouldn't be wearing one but I have to. I've not had any problems with milk supply with the first 2 and by the size of these things, I don't think I will this time either. I wonder how all that will go. When I got pregnant with Leo my boobs were still leaking and continued to do so for the whole pregnancy but this time they weren't leaking to start with and haven't started now either. Feeding Leo was a breeze in comparison to Ellis so I just hope we have the same again please.

I've started to get a bit of indigestion recently. Nothing major just a bit of acid reflux every now and then. I slept in a sitting up position the other night but that has only happened once. I'm sure more will come when baby grows a bit more.

Appetite is all over the place. Some days I'm so hungry I could just sit and eat but others like the last 2 days, I can take it or leave it.

I finally decided that I did want to go ahead with a 4d scan and so I am booked in to have one on the 18th December. I really can't wait! Mum's are coming too which will be nice and the boys are being looked after by Uncle Dave (Ellis) and Grandad Rennolds (Leo). We did want to go out for food after but Uncle Dave has to go out in the evening so we have to get back.

I am in 2 minds about posting the pictures and videos from the scan. I'm not sure if I want to keep my baby's face private or not. I share everything else (not the name) so was thinking about keeping that for us. But then I want to record it on here so I am having a dilemma. I'm pretty sure I will post it as I know very few people actually read this blog anyway.

We have also bought a new car again. Rob has picked it up but refuses to bring it back home until it has been cleaned as he is worried about my response. I know he likes it and he really wants me too, and I'm sure I will, but he just wants to make sure. It is a Land Rover Discovery 3, 2.7 tdi, 2004, automatic, dark blue, cream leather interior, it has TV screens in the back and lots of other stuff. This one we can't send back but the health check at the garage had a very positive report and we were lucky to get it as someone else couldn't get their funds together in time so it was offered to us instead. YAY!

Can't wait to meet my baba! But I'm also happy to wait if you know what I mean. I'll get a little glimpse in 9 days! That reminds me, I'm into double figures now for how long I have left. Scary stuff!

Going to start my Active Birthing classes soon and I would love for Naomi to come with me but pretty sure she isn't up for it. I just want her to come to one or two just to see what it's all about as I think you can be put off just by what it is called.

Starting my antenatal classes after Crimbo. I really want to go to them again as it's a bit of a refresher and hopefully I can help by sharing any experience that I may have. It's also nice to have a natter with other women in the same boat. I just hope that I can find someone to have the boys for me on a Tuesday morning! Any takers please?

Huge blog which I didn't really want to start but once I got going I couldn't stop! Definitely have preggers brain though as I sent a Christmas card to my sister with the name of her dog that she had put down a year ago on it and I tried to put Leo's slipper on his hand today! Very funny.

Off to chill for 2 minutes before going to bed. Doesn't make sense I know.

NO PILL

The first day of not taking my pill. It feels strange. I keep seeing the packet in the window and go to take it and then realise that I'm not any more and that I will soon be trying for a baby. Very strange.

Leo had his first bottle of formula feed today. I had to warm it up but he done in 4oz and then I topped him up. He did really well seeing as he hasn't had a bottle for ages and has never had formula before. Not sure if I will do the afternoon feed in a bottle or not yet. I have an hour to decide.

I weighed this morning and I am still 12st. I'm not worried, I'm eating okay and as soon as my finger feels better I will do some exercise. I think stopping breastfeeding will also help, it did last time anyway.

The only people who know for sure that Rob and I are going to try for another baby are my yoga girls. I tell them everything and they are a pretty good sounding board, if that is the right phrase. There is the potential that 3 of us may be pregnant at the same time again which will be wicked.

I was sorting out the washing yesterday and there was loads! I said to Rob "imagine what it will be like when the next one is here!". It didn't feel weird at all, quite natural in fact. I will also need another clothes horse!

Another thing happened yesterday, we were on our way home from Rob's Mum's after having had lunch there and I said to him that I was stopping the pill tomorrow and he said why! That man loves to wind people up, mainly me. He smiled and I said you still up for it and have we agreed, to which he replied yes we have agreed. I'm sure he wouldn't any way, but I wouldn't want him to have more children just because of me. I think he would have certainly put up a fight if he wasn't sure etc. I really don't want to have that argument in the future when I'm moaning about how hard it is for him to then say, "well it was you that wanted another one!".

ONLY 10 DAYS!

I have so much that I want to write about but I'm aware that I wanted to keep these blog entries short and sweet, well short anyway.

My periods haven't yet returned and I'm putting that down to the fact that I'm still feeding Leo 3 times a day. I certainly get a lot of the old pains down there but nothing to show for it.

I keep accidentally forgetting to take my pill or taking it late. Our sex life isn't exactly at its greatest so I'm not too worried and always tell Rob when I have missed one as like I said before I don't want to be accused of anything untoward.

I have been trying, not too hard, to put people off of the idea that I will be having any more children. I'm quite sure that no one believes me but ah well.

All of the trying to put people off was actually starting to put me off too! I have been having a huge struggle with Ellis recently and I have found it all too much at times. To even consider adding to my work load seemed insane, but as soon as I have a good day I just know that I want more.

I really need to talk to Rob about it all again but there just never seems to be a good time at the moment. Basically if we want a similar age gap between Leo and Nugget, we would need to start trying at the end of May, which would mean coming off my pill and starting folic acid at the end of this month! That's only 10 days away!

I really wanted to improve my fitness before hand but I just don't have the time or energy for it at the moment. My weight remains around 12st but I'm sure in 3 months I could have that down to 11st 7lbs. Once we have decided a time we are going to start trying, then I will have a goal. I work so much better when I have an aim.

Would really love to move house now. I would love bigger rooms for the boys, a room for all the computer rubbish and a nicer garden by the summer. We are looking but nothing has really grabbed us. I'm quite excited about moving.

That's it for now. I have loads more I want to put but feeling a bit too tired now.

IT'S NOT WORKING!

I don't think putting people off the scent is actually working.

Met up with my Mummy group on Friday night and I mentioned about Sharon having another one and she said that she thought it would more likely be me and then Charlotte started to say that she thinks I will still have another, even though I have said I wont. She doesn't believe me. None of them would be surprised if we had another. They would all think we were completely mental though.

I think my parents are also not so sure. They both keep dropping hints into conversations about Leo being the last baby in the family etc. We will see, he might be as we haven't definitely decided yet.

I so need to start getting myself fit and ready. The diet starts again tomorrow and I'm hoping to go to circuit training on Wednesday but I'm actually starting to think that that may be a bit too much to start with and perhaps I should try something a little calmer to start with. Mainly because my pelvis still isn't that great and my stomach muscles from the diastase recti are dodgy too. Not sure.

If we were going to plan to have a similar age gap to Leo and Ellis we would need to start trying around 1st June. So that is the date. I would need to start folic acid and come off my pill 3 months before that. Also I am still breast feeding 3/4 times a day so my periods haven't come back yet, not sure what to do about that. Although saying that, this week I had some funny discharge and I have been having a lot of cramping pains and bad back etc so maybe I'm having a period but with nothing to show for it. I kind of remember that happening last time. I may start to give Leo a bottle for 1 feed and see if that makes any difference. I don't really want them to come back but I would be good to know that my body is working okay etc.

I enjoy keeping a diary. It's nice to get rid of some of these secret thoughts. I'm so excited and always planning in my head for it all, how will I tell people?, how long could I keep it secret?, would I find out what sex it is?, how long will it take to conceive this time?, will everything go smoothly like Ellis and Leo?, so many questions!

We haven't spoken about it again since Christmas and I don't know how Rob feels about it all at the moment. He hasn't mentioned it and he did say that "if" we are going to do it, we should just get on with it. What does that mean? Now or later?

A few days ago I did ask him if he wanted to have another child with me. He said that he did. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't just do it for me as I would hate to think that he wasn't 100% happy with the idea. It's a HUGE commitment.

Time will tell.