38 WEEKS & THE APPOINTMENT - 38 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

So we waited for Dad to arrive and we left pretty much straight away. The journey to the hospital can be really quick but then you end up trying to find somewhere to park for 20 minutes or there is loads of traffic on the way and you end up late. But we sailed through, caught all lights on green and parked right by the delivery suite so we were over 30 minutes early!

I said about staying in the car but Rob said it might be a good idea to just see if they can see us early anyway. I'm glad he did.

We signed in at reception, Rob got his little sticker and we walked through to the delivery suite which was deserted. We were met by a nice midwife called Anna. She went through all my paperwork, past pregnancies, took my BP and temperature, made me do a urine sample and then set me up to trace baby's heart rate for at least 20 minutes.

The baby is rather happy in there apparently and his heart rate was very good. The trace was started at 11:38am.

Shortly before 12pm Anna came in to say that Mr Grant wasn't going to be seeing me now and it would be a Judith ?, but I didn't think to ask if she was happy to do it because of my previous section as I knew Anna already had that information. Plus Rob had been speaking to her about the fact that Mr Grant was the only one happy to look at me for the ECV.

Anyway, Judith likes her ladies tilted for 20 minutes to help move the baby out of the pelvis so at 11:55am the bed was tilted down and I was left like that. It wasn't very nice to start with but I soon got used to it. The blood went to my head and my cheeks felt warm and I did feel baby move up under my ribs and I started to get stretchy pains down my sides as he was moving into a position he hadn't been in before.

This video was cut short as Anna came back in the room. They are in and out constantly so it was quite hard to get some time to do a little documentary.

Anna came back in saying that we were still waiting for Judith but it wouldn't be long, then when she arrived Anna gave her my notes and a few minutes after that she came back in to say that Mr Grant would be doing it after all as Judith won't do a previous c-section lady. What a farce! I didn't mind though I was just using the time to chill out.

Mr Grant came in and apologised and took the trace off my belly. I was tilted back up by now.

He talked through my history again and had a feel of bump then put the scanner on to have a proper look. He really did a thorough look of the position which had changed slightly from the 36 week scan. The baby is now feet down in the pelvis followed by his bum. He wasn't bum down last time. He then spent ages checking where the cord was going. He could see that it was under the chin and around by one ear but wasn't sure where it went the other side. He kept checking and finally said he thought it went around under the baby's chin and up the other side, not necessarily wrapped around his neck but under his chin at least.

He turned the scanner off and said that he could go through everything with me but the end result would be that he wouldn't be happy to do it. He said he would give my 5 minutes to think about it. What was there to think about?

As soon as he left I turned to Anna and just confirmed with her that what he was saying was he wasn't going to attempt it and she said yes. I was still confused what there was to talk about but never mind.

It had never struck me that this might be the outcome. I thought we would go in and he would either be turned or he wouldn't. Not that they wouldn't even attempt it! Threw me through another loop!

I of course started crying and was upset that I was now heading for a section. They were all a bit surprised that I was so unhappy as apparently it is rare for a woman not to be happy about not going through child birth in the natural way. If that makes sense.

They left Rob and I alone for a bit and then Anna came back in with a suggestion that I could come back for another scan on Thursday, only 48 hours later to see if the cord had moved. A glimmer of hope but it was only that. Mr Grant came to speak to me again and said he was sorry and I said "yeh, you've ruined my dream!" Just kidding of course. I really like him and I think he gets me. He said the chance of baby moving in 48 hours was slim to nil but he gets paid to do his job so he will scan me again if that's what I wanted to do.

We decided to book in for the section anyway so Mr Grant's assistant, a doctor called Penny started the paperwork. She was really nice too. We talked again through my medical history etc and then I had to sign some stuff. I decided to be a bit cheeky and to ask if my split stomach muscles could be sorted out at the same time. She said she would speak to Mr Grant and he came back in saying have I been watching Embarrassing Bodies as apparently someone on there had it done in last weeks episode. I just said that I had done my research and was just hoping it could be done. He explained that he hadn't done many but that I wouldn't be any worse off if he had a go at it, so nothing to lose really.

I was booked in for 10th March and Anna went through a few things with me. We wrote some birth plan stuff down and she gave me some pre op tablets and explained that I had to be nil by mouth the night before. She measured me up for the lovely socks that you get and told me that if my waters were to go or I started contracting that I should call them up and get in quite quickly.

Will have to go into hospital at 7:30am on 10th and just wait until it is my turn. There was one other c section booked in for that morning but that could change and also any emergencies will come before me. It could even be cancelled altogether and they will let us know by 4pm!

I was then asked to do a swab for MRSA and I stupidly thought it was to check if I had any infections down below so I said it wouldn't be a problem to swab my moo. Rob and Anna laughed their heads off as the swab was to just go in the inside of your nose! HAHAHA! I knew that once it had sunk in that it was for MRSA. Give me a break!

We had to wait a while for the notes to be written up and I was discharged around 2pm. I was really hungry so we went home via McDonald's, yummy.

My brain was frazzled and I was feeling quite drained but I made it to my active birthing class as I wanted to chat about it all and also to get some chocolate and a cuppa with a room full of pregnant women.

I had a good time and got lots of my chest. I did feel better about things after that.

The next decision on the agenda was whether or not to attend the scan on Thursday. I thought about it loads and in the end I decided to cancel it. Baby hadn't moved and I couldn't see how the cord would have moved in 48 hours. I know there might have been a slight chance but not sure it was all worth the effort or disappointment if it hadn't.

So we are set for 10th March for a c-section, hopefully with Mr Grant who can sort out my split tummy muscles as the same time. I'm not happy about it all but what can I do? Nothing. Just need to get my head around it. The main thing that bothers me now is that there seems to be a long time between now and then. I will be 39 +4 weeks pregnant which seems a little too close to the end and I'm worried that my waters will go before then which would lead to an emergency section, possibly not with Mr Grant so diastases wouldn't get looked at either. Rubbish! Ah well just need to accept it all now. But I am on edge and very restless.

Yesterday morning I woke at 5:30am unable to go back to sleep as I was having period pains and twinges etc and I was just waiting for something to happen. Obviously it didn't but I couldn't sleep.

Today I have been even more puffy than normal which is hard to believe and I'm feeling very very tired. Leo was up in the night and had been sick during the night so I had to clear that up first thing. Thankfully Sarah took Ellis to school this morning so I didn't have to get dressed and Leo didn't go to Sing and Sign so we haven't got dressed all day, lush. Just wish I could have spent the day in bed but Leo's nap time was taken up with the bloke being here looking at the boiler.

Rob is home now so hopefully he will look after all of us but he isn't well either. I've been coughing a lot which hurts my tummy and I've started to get a bit snotty too. Really, really bad timing for illness but hopefully it will clear before the 10th.

So it's a waiting game either way now. When we go in for the section they will scan me first on the off chance that baby has turned. If he has then I will then have the decision of whether I go for natural with the potential that the cord is still around his neck or go for the section anyway. I hate making decisions.

So here are the 38 week pictures and measurements which should have been done on a separate post but I can't be bothered.

38 weeks with Nugget,

38 weeks with Leo,

and 38 weeks with Ellis.



I wore the same clothes on purpose again, because why not.

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight = 14st 8lbs (+ 2st 13lbs) I've given up caring!

Tummy = 116cm (+22.5cm)

Upper arm = 30cm(+1cm)

Upper leg = 65.5cm (+4.5cm)

Ankle = 26cm (+2cm)

Neck = 36cm (+3cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 14st
Tummy = 114cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 64.5cm
Ankle = 25cm
Neck = 34.5cm

Right that is me up-to-date on this blog, hurrah! It may get changed once Rob reads it.

POSITIVE THINKING - 37 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

How quickly did the last 37 weeks go! Bump picture.

I had a midwife appointment the day after I saw the registrar and I'm not sure if I've written about it yet. I might have done on topflumps but not sure.

Anyway I saw Judith and she asked how I had got on at the hospital, I told her about it being breech and she was like "NO!" . She was really surprised. She tested my wee, did my blood pressure and felt my tummy and I think she didn't really know which way it was until I told her. She listened to the heart beat which took her a while to find as she was searching in a different place to normal because of him being breech but when she put the Doppler on the normal place she heard it. She said my babies are weird. Thanks!

My blood test results were missing so she said she would chase them up and then booked me in for 3 weeks time when I said I would of more than likely had it by then, if not then on the day of the appointment.

We did discuss going for a natural breech delivery but seeing as he is a footling breech, feet down rather than bum, this increases the risks quite a lot. Basically the cord can fall out and get squashed causing harm and possibly death to the baby. Not a risk worth taking.

I had my active birthing class on Tuesday and I was in a right strop. A lovely lady brought her son in and talked about her lovely active, natural birth that went really well. I was sulking of course.

I had a cry on the way home and I was still sulking when I spoke to Rob so he got pissy with me without really realising that I was having "issues!" Can't blame him, I was a right stroppy cow but I feel like I had a right to be, in a way anyway. We had a chat and he said the same things that everyone says, and all the things I already know so I basically told him to shut up and just give me a hug.

I'm starting to feel a bit better about the whole situation. I think the closer it gets the more relaxed I'm getting as time is running out. Going with the flow, being in the now, whatever attitude, what will be will be is all stuff I know but unable to put in to practice at the moment. I think if someone says it to me one more time I might scream out loud rather than just in my head!

I sound like a right spoiled brat! Here I am with a healthy baby boy in my belly ready to come into this family and all I can fixate on is how he is going to get here. I haven't even thought about the after bit, apart from if I have a section how awful it will be ;o)

I keep looking around at all the baby stuff and can't actually get my head around the fact that a little baby will be here very shortly. I need to start focusing more on how I feel about the baby and how he is going to fit into our family and preparing the boys for his arrival. Leo is so cute with bump, like Ellis was really. Ellis this time isn't so interested although he did put his hand on it today to have a feel.

We really don't have a name sorted. Nothing. I've been testing some out on Ellis but he doesn't like anything, apart from Sugar or Rocket. I really don't want to send out "the" text message with just baby arrived on it. I want to introduce him with a name as a person. I sound crazy I'm sure but I'm used to that. Rob really doesn't like the one name that I have come up with and to be honest even I'm not 100% sure of it, not like I was with Ellis and Leo. I didn't think I would get to have Leo's name though. Maybe we will try some names out when he is here before sending out the message. I've told Rob not to put anything on Facebook until we have spoken with family and sent out the text to close friends. I don't want anything on there until we know that he and I are safe and well.

I pretty much have everything ready. There are little things outstanding but they could be grabbed at the last minute. I need to make sure that camera batteries are charged and memory cards are cleared though, so will sort that tomorrow. The other thing outstanding is my birth plan. I've pretty much thrown that out the window for now. If things change on Tuesday then I will write it but for now I'm not actually going to bother.

Been feeling more tired recently. I'm sleeping okay when the boys let me. I have to regularly get up with one or both of them during the night and I need a wee break too so it is very disturbed sleep but not too painful like it was before. It does hurt to turn over, especially when Rob is here but my hips don't ache which is nice.

I've started to get a lot of acid indigestion which isn't nice so I'm trying to prop myself up a bit. I think because baby is breech and not engaging, and is getting a lot bigger, that he is pressing up on my stomach and causing it. Not much longer now.

Waking up with bloated legs and feet now which can feel uncomfortable at times. Rob gave me a really lush foot rub the other night and I've just asked for another so looking forward to that.

Tuesday is coming around fast but not fast enough if you know what I mean. I just want it done with now. I want some answers. But I am trying really hard to enjoy my time with the boys. By the end of the day I'm tired and touchy but we do have fun. This week has been quite hard as it has been half term but we have done some different things and chilled out together too which has been nice.

Having a lie in tomorrow morning then off to the spa in the afternoon. Really looking forward to a pamper day. It may well be my last lie in too if baby comes on Tuesday, which is possible.

I'm keeping my hopes up though that he might be turned, I am pretty sure he won't turn himself now but you never know I suppose. Fingers crossed for it all.

WATSU - 36 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

Been feeling a little better the last 2 days or so. I'm not great about the situation I find myself in but I'm coming to terms with it a bit more. I'm really not looking forward to the experience of the ECV and hopefully, fingers crossed I won't have to go through it.

Been trying to get baby to turn by being on all 4s, sitting and bouncing on my birthing ball but this makes my feet really puffy, and visualising and telling him to get his head down! It might work, you never know.

The only good thing about the baby being in this position is that he isn't putting any pressure on my pelvis which is great. I do get sciatic pain still and it makes my left leg give way suddenly with some shooting pain but I can deal with that much better than constant burning and stinging of my pelvis whenever I move.

The kicks to the bladder and bum area are a constant reminder from the little bugger that he still hasn't turned. I keep getting my hopes up every now and then when I feel a bit different but so far he is still staying in exactly the same place. He has been like it for 10 weeks now so I suppose he must be comfortable.

Booked into the spa with Mum. Going to have a Watsu. I think you basically float about while being gently moved around by a therapist. It's costing an arm and a leg for it but I can't wait! Hopefully all the relaxing will get baby round.

Time is ticking away. Only 9 days until ECV, 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow and baby will be here very soon. I think my thoughts are so consumed with how he is going to get here that I haven't been thinking about the after bit yet. It's making me tired just typing about it.

In need of sleep, healthy food and drink, and some alone time. Too busy for that though.

BONDING - 35 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Piles are a pain in the arse! I've suffered with them for a long time but since having Leo they have been quite bad and since being pregnant again, they are really bad. I've been using the cream and stuff but it isn't making any difference. Not too uncomfortable though so that's good.

Been feeling a lot better recently, physically. Emotionally I'm all over the place. One minute I'm so positive, happy and excited, the next I'm shit scared, miserable, stressed etc. I'm pretty sure it is normal to be like this and Rob is coping quite well with all the ups and downs.

One concern that I have at the moment is bonding with the new baby. With Ellis it took me around 3 months before I felt like I was close to my baby. There were a lot of things that played a part in this. I was a first time Mummy, I hadn't seen him leave my body and I didn't have the birth I expected, recovery for me was slow, his feeding didn't go well to start with and he lost weight and I just generally struggled I think so it was a job to get through each day. Leo on the other hand was completely different. I felt like I started bonding with him while he was in my tummy. I would talk to him, sing to him, read to him, call him him, would love feeling and watching his movements and then as soon as I pulled him up on to my chest I just felt it. Not really sure what "it" is but it wasn't foreign, it was warm and close. Feeding Leo was easy and not painful and my recovery was better, not great but a lot better, plus I knew how to do all the necessary things like changing a nappy so I could spend more time giving him love, cuddles and other attention. Sounds really bad that maybe I didn't do that with Ellis to start with but I'm sure I did, I just don't really remember it. I just remember working very, very hard.

So I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say or how to put it at least, but I just know that I am worried that I won't feel the same. Have to wait and see I suppose and to try not to put too much pressure on myself. It's going to be tough going I know that much but I just want to enjoy it all if possible.

Swelling is increasing nicely. Last night I sat on my ball on my PC and I must have been sat in one position for too long because as soon as I moved I realised that my feet were stinging. I showed Rob and he said I just had legs that went straight down to my feet. I had no ankles and my feet were massive. Rob could put a thumb sized dent in them which would last for a while. Not nice, not attractive. I sat with them raised after a quick rub from Rob and had some water but it didn't help that much so I ended up going to bed. I'll try and get a picture. I've realised that I haven't really posted pictures on this blog that much. I will try and rectify that, even if it is just random bump pictures or something.

I've really started to feel this pregnancy and I'm struggling more at this stage then I did with the first 2 pregnancies. I think I'm a bit older now, my body has been through a lot since 2006 and I have 2 kiddies to look after without Rob around as much. It's bound to take its toll but I keep going. Rob thanked me this evening for soldiering on and that he appreciated how hard I was working. That's always nice to hear.

Been really busy today. I tried to have a lie in but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get comfy, the sun was shining in, the boys downstairs were really loud, the bloke outside was cleaning our car and Rob came in a few times. Admittedly on one occasion he brought me up a cuppa and a bowl of cereal which I really needed.

I eventually got up and started my hospital bag. It's 90% there now which is great. It isn't in a bag but it is all together on the side so just needs to be scooped up. A lot of the stuff that isn't in can't be packed yet because I use it, like the cameras, my hair brush, dressing gown etc. I don't have slippers yet so need to purchase some of those and I really need a different t-shirt to go with my new pyjama bottoms.

I also need to start work on my wish list (birth plan) so that I can complete all my notes and I want to make sure I have a TENS machine on Tuesday, so better e-mail Vivien about that.

Can't believe how close it is! Not as close as Naomi as she gave birth to a little boy, Harri, on Friday. He was 5lb 5oz and I believe they are still in hospital for now. I would think they would stay a few days to make sure he is eating well and putting on weight seeing as he is so early.

I don't know any details and I can't wait to catch up with her properly. I'm so happy for her that everything turned out well, but a little bit jealous that she has been through it, out the other side and now has her baby and can just move on. Does that make sense? I'm still a ticking bomb and she has her body back, without the extra 4/6 weeks of weight gain too! Shouldn't rush these things though and I know it is safer for baby to be inside for a while longer yet.

Hopefully be able to get a little bit of cleaning done tomorrow. The dust in this house is amazing! I know I don't clean enough but it's like I said to Rob today, once I've finished tidying so that I can clean, I'm too tired or the boys need attention and I can't do it! Will try at least to run the vacuum around the upstairs tomorrow. Want to clean the bathroom too. Shattered just thinking about it.

Okay, I'm off to try and get some sleep, not an easy task mind you but I'll give it a good go.

HORRENDOUS - 35 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

Last Tuesday, 1st February I was just 34 weeks pregnant I attended my first antenatal class and Naomi came to pick me up. I had started to have some back pain that morning which felt more like sciatic nerve pain then anything else and my pelvis at the front wasn't stinging so it was like it had moved and changed. I was struggling to walk and I wasn't particularly happy about it.

The class was run by Judith, my midwife, so she spoke to me quite a bit as she knew me and she had to discuss labour, without complications. I actually thought she did a good job and the only thing I didn't really like was when she said that they won't talk about breathing as surely she doesn't need to teach us how to breathe! So glad I have active birthing classes to go to.

I was still feeling horrid when I got home and walking, bending or pretty much just moving was becoming more and more of an issue.

By Wednesday I couldn't move and was in a lot of pain. Thankfully Sarah kindly took Ellis to school for me and then Mum came over in the afternoon, picked Ellis up and took him to his music class. So pleased to have had the rest but it didn't do any good and I was still in agony the following day.

In all my pregnancies, I have never wished any of them away but last week was just horrendous. I was in so much pain and I couldn't even live my life! I just wanted baby out! I was done, ready for it to be over.

I spoke to my midwife and she said they could prescribe Codine to help with the pain but it would cross the placenta to the baby so decided against that and then I spoke to the physio who said I was doing everything right and that I just had to put up with it really. I was doing everything I could to move the baby off my back, which is where I thought it was. I was leaning over my ball, doing ball dancing, going on all 4s which was when I was in the most pain so didn't do that too much.

Anyway, Saturday arrived and Rob let me have a lie in but then I just ended up staying in bed all day. I got up at about 4:30pm, gave Leo some dinner then got ready to go out. The pain was still there but not too bad.

On Sunday I was feeling so much better! We went into town and did quite a lot of walking and I was ok. I walked slow but it wasn't painful and even my front pelvis pain was gone. I was worried that doing all the walking would cause the pain to come back on Monday but, touch wood, since then I have been doing really really well. I feel really great actually, fat and bloated, achy and waddling a good un but not in pain. I get twinges but they are nothing compared to what I was getting.

So that's the sciatic pain story and now on to my Braxton Hicks. Thursday evening at Mum and Dads' I was having dinner and they started. I was getting hot flushes and a rock hard bump. It wasn't nice but easy to deal with. Then on Saturday night I was getting loads and loads, with some period pains too so I was almost thinking of timing them and they were keeping me awake too. I told Rob about it and he had a mini panic attack ;o)

I've had them since then but nothing as bad. Maybe the contractions helped to move baby off of the nerve it was sat on and that's why I can walk and move again.

I'm still obsessing over the position of the baby. I try all the time to work it out but I just can't. I mainly think he is transverse with his head on the left side. Seeing the midwife next Wednesday so hopefully she can work it out a bit better, if not I want a scan.

Rob has been helping out loads which is great as I'm starting to need the extra rest time and sleep isn't going so well. I can't get comfy, my hips ache, turning over is an arse and Rob still squashes me and pushes me to the edge of the bed. I wake up tired most mornings.

Baby clothes from newborn to 3 months are all pretty much washed. I have another load of washing, some ironing to do and then it all just needs putting away. I still haven't done my hospital bag and plan to do that this weekend coming.

I am so puffy that I can't even wear my wedding ring anymore and Mum came over today and said "what lovely chubby cheeks!" Great! I'm sulking now and wanting to eat everything in sight.

Naomi phoned me today, (I hope she doesn't mind me putting this) about some heavy discharge she was having and was wondering what to do. She is 36 weeks pregnant today. She was waiting for a call back from her midwife and I just said to put a pad on and to keep an eye on the volume and colour of it. She said she didn't want to open her packet of pads yet, which was quite funny. I tried to reassure her that everything was fine and that even if her waters had gone, there is still time and to not panic. I sent her a text an hour or so later asking her how she was and she replied that her waters had gone!!! I can't believe it! She is now in hospital waiting for baby. I am assuming that if nothing happens within a few days that they will induce her and get baby out. So she will be holding her baby in a few days time, or sooner! So strange that we won't finish our antenatal classes together and we were joking about being in hospital at the same time but that isn't going to happen. I just hope that everything works out well for her and baby and I can't wait to receive "the" text.

I've decided to revamp my birthing plan. For one thing I'm going to call it my wish list and I just want to make it very simple but with a few things on there that I know I don't want. Like I don't want them to keep asking me if I want to have my waters broken. I birthed out my bag of waters with Leo and she constantly asked if she could brake them and I didn't want it done. It just seemed so unnecessary. If the bag wanted to break then it would itself and also I didn't want the contractions to kick up a notch which can happen with no water to cushion the blow. So will work on that and post an updated version soon.

I still have loads to do and keep putting it off cause I just think baby will come late as per the 2 boys and that I have plenty of time yet. Naomi thought she would be early but not this early!

Antenatal class this week was good too. It was taken by Marcia who I really like and she is very organised and energetic which makes it much better. It was about complications and pain relief. Again she did say the thing about they won't teach us how to breathe but other than that it was informative and positive considering it was to do with complications.

I stayed behind to ask a couple of questions and she was very helpful. I asked about the fact that I had a very full bladder at the time of pushing and asked if that could have caused my slight bladder prolapse and she said yes. She said it might also have caused me to have to push so damn hard to get him out as the gap would have been compromised by the full bladder. I asked about the cannula too and if I did actually need one in place straight away and said yes I would need one but could sign a waiver form and not have it. Choice is mine. She then suggested I meet with Steph Withers at the hospital to discuss my options a bit further. I might do that.

Have the consultant appointment on Tuesday. Think I may go anyway but won't bother getting Rob to take the day off. Shazza was having the boys so that I could go to my antenatal class and Naomi said that she could help out to cover the extra time that I would be at the hospital. That aint gonna happen now though. Will have to sort something out.

Feeling okay. Thankful to not be in major pain and looking forward to seeing baby but also scared to death about it all. I'm not worried about pain but worried about how it will all work out, what will happen this time sort of thing and then I worry about recovery and how the boys will deal with etc etc. I can't stop worrying and stressing. How can I get around that? My head is all confused and emotions are very close to the surface. I'm sure it will all work out but it's the not knowing that is doing me in.

So tired and I need to shower and wash my hair. Actually might just go to bed and wash my hair tomorrow while Leo is napping. Yeh that's a plan.

NAMES - 33 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Nugget hasn't stopped wriggling today. Hopefully he is spending his time getting into a better position but it really has been all day movement, which has been nice. A few kicks to the bladder which wasn't so nice but other than that it's been lush.

Skin was feeling a bit stretched and itchy today and I'm just praying I don't get any more stretch marks. My tummy already looks like a road map of London, I just don't want it to expand any more.

Went out on date night tonight with hubby and we had a discussion about names and how I don't want a nameless baby so would like to have some ideas before he arrives. I have one name that I quite like and unless anything else pops up, then I'm set on it. The only problem is that Rob isn't keen on it. I'm open to other ideas if he should come up with any mind you. We also talked about a middle name and one came up that I'm really happy about too and goes really well with the first name I like too. It's actually made me feel rather excited which is a bit strange. Makes it more real I suppose as at the moment the getting ready stage is going very slowly and I feel like it isn't quite happening. I hope that makes sense.

Still swollen and will be now until after baby has arrived, so just have to put up with it.

Pelvis is the same too. Not worse, not better but manageable.

Boobs are huge and I'm snuggly fitting my 32FF bras. I'm still wearing under-wired bras and I will probably get away with it for a bit longer yet.

I still haven't managed to video any movement in my belly yet and I really want to get a bit, so will make an effort with that soon.

Rob is allowing me to have another lie in tomorrow so like he said, I should make the most of it and get some sleep. So that is what I'm going to do.

WHICH WAY? - 33 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

Went to the midwife yesterday, eventually, as I went to the wrong bloody clinic to start with. I hurt my pelvis trying to throw the buggy back in the boot and I had squeezed into a space in the car park so getting Leo in and out was a big struggle. Not a nice experience and by the time I had raced over to the other surgery I was all hot and flustered.

I was called in pretty quickly and immediately she dipped my urine and found that I had huge amounts of sugar in it. This could indicate diabetes but I have no other symptoms apart from the swelling and tiredness so she said she wouldn't worry about it this time but will see me again in 3 weeks to check it again. I need to reduce my sugar intake a bit.

She measured bump and it was 33 centimetres which is what it should be so that was good news. Heart rate of baby was traced and seen as fine and she had a feel of bump and said she thought it was head down but not 100%. She said we wouldn't worry about it until 37 weeks and would send me for a scan if she wasn't sure. I asked if it was breech would they do an ECV on me and she said they may not want to because of previous c-section. Even though this isn't necessarily going to happen I was still rather annoyed by this for the rest of the day!

An ECV is a external cephalic version. Basically they grease you up and try to manipulate the baby around and hope that it stays head down, as some flip back like I did. Sorry Mum. There is a really good video of it here.

Midwife took some blood which is never a problem for me and this time she hit the vein first time.

My blood pressure was fine and that was about it. I have another appointment in 3 weeks time.

I did talk about my consultant appointment which is on 15th February and she confirmed that they would just talk about my options and tell me the risks etc which I have already heard when I went with Leo, so not really sure what the point in me going is. I told her I would call up and cancel my appointment and she just said to try and call them really early and speak to a midwife there first. Okay, I'll give it a go but I'm not attending the appointment.

I was quite flustered when I left the clinic. Leo had been a very good boy, going in and out of the car and buggy and just having to sit there watching me too.

Rob fixed the car seat and put the covers in the wash and I cleaned the hood this morning so it's all ready to go looking brand new which is nice.

I have picked up the mattress for the crib and the bedding has been washed and ironed so if baby was to surprise us then we would manage. There is still plenty to do though:

Hospital bag

Clean crib

Finish cleaning, ironing and putting clothes away

Sort out all the pads, cotton wool, nappies etc

Changing box

Blue chair - get back & clean

Memory Box & Scrap book

Birth plan

Oil for perineum massage

Clean sling

Clean buggy cocoon

Find mobile, clean and attach to crib

Clean play mat and find toys that go with it

Sort out baby toys

Present from Nugget to boys

Names list

I know a lot of that isn't critical before baby arrives but it would make me happy and more at ease if it was done.

Okay then so for my hospital bag I have a list of the following:

Shampoo

Conditioner

Arnica

Shower Gel

Scrub

Shaver

Toothbrush & paste

Deodorant

Hair brush

Hair ties

Knickers/net pants

Nursing bra

Pads - maternity & breast

Towels x2

Dressing gown

PJ's

Slipper socks/slippers

Joggers

T-shirt

Cotton Wool

Nappies

Nappy sacks

Nappies

Wipes

3 x vests

3 x baby grows

Hat

Blanket

Rabbit

Going home outfit

Smaller stretchy bandage for my tummy muscles

Notepad and pen for marking down breastfeeding times (although could do on my phone)

2 x cameras (charged and empty memory cards)

Snacks

Water bottle

Mobile & charger

V pillow

Birthing ball

List of people to contact

Maternity notes

Birth plan

Tens machin

Something to give birth in

Very long list but I expect I have forgotten something. Just need to find one bag that isn't too big but fits it all in. I'm hoping to use Rob's bag that he uses for going away with. Might try and grab that this weekend.

The birth plan will just be a slight revised version of the one we used for Leo's birth. I can do that this weekend too so hopefully that will be another thing ticked off the list.

Nugget wiggles a bit but all the hand and feet sticking out thing happens down by my c-section scar so I haven't been able to see it let alone video it. Bit sad about that but never mind.

He gets hiccups quite a lot and I can't stand it. It is a horrible feeling for me. I know lots of people love it but I'm not one of them.

Pelvis hasn't been too bad the last couple of days and I've been quite busy. It does really hurt to turn over in bed and getting up and down can be a bit of struggle but other than that I'm doing pretty good at ignoring it.

Went to my second Active Birthing class on Tuesday which was brilliant. I so wish Naomi was there as we talked through what AB was all about and what sort of stuff you would learn. I wish she could have heard it for herself and not through me. I'm sure she thinks some hippy weirdo is teaching some yoga breathing nonsense or something when it so not like that. It is informative and very helpful and puts it all into perspective so that by the time you are sat by the door (being the one due next) you are relaxed and ready to face the labour and birth and all that it brings with it.

Still rather puffy and feeling large but enjoying it. I'm not wishing it away and not wanting to rush it.

Out tomorrow night with Yoga lot for a meal which I'm really looking forward to and then it's date night Saturday so I'll be going out again. Not sure where though.

Hopefully get a few things done off my list this weekend which will help me to feel a lot more settled and relaxed.

LIST - 32 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

I have an expanding list of things I want to talk about on here so I better get on with it before I forget what I wanted to say. It won't really flow as I'm following a list and will just write about each one.

Gas - with my first 2 pregnancies I always had gas going up and down but this time around I haven't suffered from it and luckily, so far, I haven't had any indigestion which is great.

Aches & Pains - everyone gets them I'm sure. This time I have been getting lower back ache if I've been standing for a long time but to be honest I get that when I'm not pregnant too. It isn't too bad though. The biggest issue is the burning, stinging, stabbing pelvis pain. Sometimes it is horrendous. The worse time by far is when trying to get comfy in bed or turning over, oh and getting dressed and undressed. It is so painful and you know you have to feel it as you have to move. So I just grit my teeth, feel the pain and usually groan or let out some air. It isn't nice and I will stop going on about it but I have to write about it as a reminder for next time! ;o)

Preparing siblings - I feel like I haven't done enough of this with Leo and too much with Ellis. Ellis is always asking when is baby Ben going to arrive, is it spring yet etc etc and Leo just knows that my tummy is called baby. Pretty sure he doesn't know that there is a baby in there and that it will be coming out and home with us. I think he will be in for the biggest shock. Ellis really wants to be a helper and I hope he does as I will need it.

Baby position - I pretty much have no idea of baby's position other than the fact that all movement, kicks, prods etc is down on my c-section scar and below. It is so strange how low it is and it doesn't feel nice at all. I know there is time for baby to get in a proper position but it would be nice to feel some good movements and legs/arms sticking out etc. I have a midwife appointment in just under a week so should know more then, hopefully.

Rob has actually looked into purchasing an ultra sound machine so that I can put my mind at rest as I obsess about it every day. They go for £900 which isn't bad really as you can re-sell it. I've told him not to obviously.

Size - I've been told conflicting things about how I look size wise. Some say I look massive then go on to say but it's all up front and you don't look pregnant from behind. One lady today said I hardly looked pregnant! People say I don't look like I have put on any extra weight! Seriously! It would be nice to be made to feel better but when you know you have gained so much extra fat on your arse and thighs and I'm bloated everywhere else, you wonder why people are fibbing so badly. ;o) I just have to look at my hands I know I'm big.

Getting ready - Right, so I've started to do the washing and ironing and putting the clothes into Leo's current room. All of Leo's clothes are now in with Ellis' which makes it so much easier. I've been out shopping and bought a few bits, ordered the mattress and bought myself some pads and arnica. I've written a very long list of stuff for the hospital bag but I don't remember taking that much stuff last time. I'll post the list on here soon. Need to do a birthing plan, clean the crib, finish sorting the clothes, sort out a car seat as current one is broken, pack hospital bag and I also need to work out what I'm going to do if labour starts and Rob is away etc. I mean Mum and Dad are 20 minutes drive away so add on getting out the house, 30 minutes, and Uncle Dave isn't much closer, if I can get hold of him. Sally has kindly said she would let me know when she could be free which is great as she is a lot closer, but it is still a worry. Hopefully it will start Friday afternoon or something, that way Rob will be home and I won't have to worry about any of it. I seem to have quite long labours but this time might be really fast, you just never know and it's best to be prepared.

AB Classes - went back to my first active birthing class on Tuesday. I made the silly mistake of walking down the very dark lane to get to the barn, ended up scaring the shit out of myself, causing me to run and hurt my pelvis. The class went well though. We heard a birth story at the beginning, drank tea, ate chocolate, talked about breathing techniques at the end for 2 minutes and introduced ourselves etc. It was really nice to be back but strange at the same time. I felt like a know it all and I sat there nodding my head a lot of the time. I'll keep going for now as it is nice to think about this baby and this pregnancy and I do need to get my head prepared for the labour of labour.

Appetite - this is going up and down and all over the place. Some days I really could just drink water all day and be fine, other days 2 chocolate bars, 3 packets of crips, tons of fruit etc are just not enough. I haven't weighed and I don't intend to until 35 weeks. I think with Leo I weighed a lot so was much more conscious of what was happening but this time I'm just going with the flow. Not worried about weight gain at all as long as I don't go stupid. I'm pretty sure I can lose it again with a bit of will power and I'm planning to do it by having an eating plan ready so that I can stick to it. It's something like this:

Breakfast - Porridge or Oat cereal with a banana

Fruit snack mid morning

Lunch - Sandwich with low fat crisps and yoghurt or soup with 2 bits of toast and yoghurt

Healthy mid afternoon snack

Dinner - Not overly fussed about this but pasta and sauce or fish or something like that.

I'll make sure to drink plenty of water too as I will hopefully be breastfeeding and will need to keep hydrated.

Cravings - I really want to be crunching away on some crushed ice just like I did with Leo but unfortunately we don't have the ice dispenser hooked up so no ice. :o(

Boobs - these things are massive but I'm still in my normal bras. I do have 4 boobs though and they barely cover my nipples, but I'm still in them. I will switch to my bigger bras soon.

Spots - maybe it is to do with my appetite/eating but I have suddenly started to get lots of spots again. I usually get a few spots anyway but in recent weeks I haven't had any so I noticed them when they returned. Hopefully they will go again soon.

Swollen - now this is going to sound very strange but I'm sure this is pretty normal that my down below bits are a bit swollen. I think I remember having it with Ellis but not sure. It isn't uncomfortable or anything but just a bit weird. My legs, hands, feet, face and neck are definitely puffy. I have bad sock marks and my stringy bit as I call it from my big toe is slowly disappearing. Plus you can feel that your skin is being stretched. Oh the joys of pregnancy!

The boys - as the time of the new arrival is fast approaching I've become really aware that my chance to spend quality time with the 2 boys is diminishing very quickly and I'm feeling a little bit sad about it. I'm really trying my best to give them lots of attention and one on one time as soon Mummy time will have to be split again. Hopefully Daddy will take up the slack in the first couple of weeks so that I can settle into some sort of routine so that I can still spend good time with them as well as keep on top of everything else. I know this isn't going to be easy but I'll cope. I'll have to.

Done - I'm still pregnant and I already think that I'm done, as in 3 boys will be enough for me. As much as I would love to have a little girl, I don't think I can go through all this again for the very slight chance that it might happen. I've always said I wouldn't have children just to have a certain sex, and I stand by that. I would never say never though and it is just left open for now. Would have to see how it all works out anyway. I would want a slightly bigger gap too as I think my body needs a rest from pregnancy and/or breastfeeding, which it has been doing since October 2006! I will get rid of some stuff after this one. I will keep some special outfits and things but everything else can go.

32 weeks - In general I'm feeling good. Up and down emotionally, very paranoid and I feel like I'm not working hard enough on some of my friendships but I'm just very consumed with everything right now. It sounds like a rubbish excuse but I just can't fit everything in. That doesn't mean that I'm too busy doing other stuff it just means that I can't cope with it all. My brain is overloaded.

I really have a good waddle going on now and I'm aware of my posture changing to a slightly leaning back position. I try to hold myself up high, pull in those pesky muscles and walk with my knees sometimes knocking. Sounds mental right?

I feel like I'm nearly at the end but I do have almost 8 weeks left, but they are ticking by so quickly. I'm trying to cherish the pregnancy but to be totally honest, apart from the pain in my pelvis and the horrible kicks to my bladder, I haven't really had too much time to think about it. I really want to make sure that I bond with this baby quite quickly and that I don't just see him as a little machine to deal with in amongst what I usually do, if that makes sense. I want him to be part of everything and not just a new chore. That sounds terrible I know but I'm just worried about spreading the love. I'm sure it will be just fine.

I have seriously waffled on but I did say my list was rather long. I must admit I did add to it as I went along.

Feeling happy but disorganised. Once I'm sorted out I will feel a lot more settled. I think I remember going through a phase like this with both pregnancies. Worrying about being a good Mum, worrying about everything really.

Going to put my feet up now and switch off for a bit.

NEW YEAR - 29 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

I'm getting really behind with this blog and things change so rapidly at this stage so I need to keep on top of it.

I'm comfortably in to the third and final trimester now and I am certainly starting to feel it.

Feet, hands and lower legs are swollen a lot of the time now and I think my face is puffy too.

I've not been well now for quite a few weeks and it has really brought me down. The boys haven't been sleeping through either so I haven't been getting any quality sleep. I had a lush lie in today though as I slept until gone 12pm! I obviously really needed it. But then today I've felt like I haven't quite woken up all day, a bit fuzzy.

If allowed to sleep, then I do sleep okay. I'm not uncomfortable and turning over doesn't hurt yet which is great news. I don't really turn over though and spend 99% of my time on my left side.

Since the scan I have been totally obsessed by what position the baby is in. I am constantly prodding and feeling to see if I can work it out. I'm pretty sure it still isn't head down and most of the movement happens on top of my bladder or slightly to the left. It isn't a nice feeling either and I'm feeling totally deprived of feeling all the lovely kicks and feet sticking out etc that I had with Leo. Makes me feel a bit sad. I do realise there is plenty of time for him to turn but I'm convinced he won't and it bugs me every day. I did find this though on my growingdollop blog.

Most babies are born headfirst, but at the end of pregnancy, around 3% to 4% are found to be breech. Before 37 weeks of pregnancy, breech presentation is much more common - about 20% of babies at 28 weeks are breech, and 15% at 32 weeks. Before term, which is defined as 37 weeks, it doesn't matter if the baby is breech, as there is always a good chance that she will turn spontaneously. Some babies do turn by themselves after this time, but it is much less likely, and some preparations should be made to decide how delivery is going to take place. About 10% to 15% of breech babies are discovered for the first time late in labour!

Not sure if I mentioned before but a couple of weeks ago my boobs started to sting on and off and I was pretty sure they would soon start to leak, and they have. I don't need to wear a pad or anything but when I shower I notice that first bit of milk is starting to leak out.

I'm actually not looking forward to breastfeeding this time. I don't really know the reasons why yet but when I do I will write them down.

I'm still wearing normal size 14 jeans but my maternity ones are definitely comfier. I wear mostly maternity tops and I'm generally sticking to the same things.

I went to my physio appointment and she measured my gap in my stomach muscles and I am at 5cms. The most it should be is 3cm so I am now wearing my stretchy bandage everyday. I haven't found it as uncomfortable to wear as I did first time around. I now just need to be careful and take care of my muscles. Hoovering and food shopping are the 2 big NOs. I don't have to see her again now, unless I have any problems, until after the birth.

I've also seen the midwife but it was such a fast appointment and I could just tell that she didn't want to be there and was just getting through her day. My tummy is measuring correct for my dates, blood pressure was 110/60 which is quite low for me and we heard the heart beat. She was supposed to take some blood but said she would leave it until next time. I see her next on 26th Jan and I will be just over 33 weeks.

I've started to get fizzy hands the last few days. I think this is just another pregnancy symptom and I remember getting it before. Doesn't last too long which is good.

Pelvis is still up and down. It isn't anything like it was with Leo thank God but I still have plenty of time to go. I does hurt, but I just ignore it as much as possible.

I've really started to slow down too. I can't do anything in a rush and it's an effort to get up. Not sure if that is because of the pregnancy or because I haven't been well for so long. I just don't have any umff. Hopefully it will come back soon as I still have so much to sort out before baba arrives.

Now that we are in the new year I must admit I am starting to shit myself. I'm really quite nervous about it all. I'm hoping this is just a stage and I will come out the other side but at the moment I keep getting butterflies and I want to cry. I'm not too worried about the labour it's just dealing with the end of the pregnancy, the recovery of birth and also looking after 3 young children. It's a very daunting prospect. I don't do a good enough job of looking after the house as it is and meal times are just crap, and I can only see it getting worse not better. It really worries me as I don't want to live in a dirty house and I need to make sure Rob has clothes ready for work, it just all feels like a lot. Feeling very overwhelmed and scared. I'm sure it will turn out fine and I will cope.

Off to bed now to try and keep up with getting some good sleep. Will hopefully do 30 week post with measurements and pictures.

PUFFY - 27 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

This evening Rob has heard the heart beat, felt him moving and then tomorrow he will see him! How exciting.

I got out the shower tonight and noticed that my feet and legs are puffy. I suppose it is quite sudden but my shower was quite hot so I'm putting it down to that. A few hours have passed and they are still puffy so maybe that's just the way they will be now.

Feeling very tired at the moment but I have been very busy. I'm soldiering on like a trooper though. Well I think so anyway.

Getting excited/nervous about the scan tomorrow. Hope the weather isn't too bad but as least we have our 4x4 now so we should be okay. Will update on car soon.

Very late night again for me but I am having the lie in tomorrow which is great as I bet the kids will be in with us early anyway.