MUCUS - 39 WEEKS, 1 DAY

Went to see the midwife today and discussed through my options. I've decided against going for a vaginal breech delivery if his feet are first as too many risky factors, one being the cord, and the other being previous section. If he is bum first however I may think about it.

If I have a c-section this time then if we were to have another she said she is pretty certain that I would struggle to find someone who would let me try for a vaginal birth. That is a long way off, if ever but has to be considered.

BP, urine, measurements, baby's heart rate etc were all fine but I'm sure from the look on her face that she isn't sure where the baby is lying. Thank God for scans!

If the scan on Thursday shows no cord around the neck I may ask if they can do an ECV but I might just not bother and resign myself to a section. To be honest, this evening I've been packing my bags and getting everything ready like I am having one anyway and that is what I have been picturing in my head.

Still have so much to get ready but it isn't urgent. I want to make sure I have some clothes ready for Rob to bring in for me to come home in, need to wrap present to boys from Nugget, need to make packed lunches for Thursday and make sure I remember to take out Ellis' car seat so Sharon can take him to his swimming lesson. I also need to remember to take the pre op medication and not to eat or drink after either! I'm sure that is going to slip my mind.

This afternoon I went to Mum and Dad's house for a bit of TLC. Leo is quite hard to look after while there but he wasn't too bad today. He sat munching in the high chair quite a lot and enjoys playing on the ipad which is cute to watch. Ellis didn't stay asleep in the car but remained in front of the TV or ipad and was really good.

I'm still feeling really full of cold and I can't clear my sinuses. Coughing is an issue too. If I try to stop it it makes it worse but if I just cough then that is bad enough. I really hope that one more day of recovering will help it to go as I'm really worried about blowing out stitches by coughing!

Been treating my pile with no success and it hurts like hell. Going to be the least of my worries in a couple of days though.

I was sat next to Ellis this afternoon and I had a few period type pains and I went to the loo to find a bit of a show. So I've lost some of my mucus plug today, nice! Then for the rest of the afternoon I couldn't stop going for a wee! I went loads, very strange as I only had 2 cups of tea and a pint of water all afternoon.

I had a bath this evening, shaved again, sorted out the washing, put some clothes away, put some more stuff in my hospital bag which I still think isn't finished but will have to do, and I was going to do loads more but I'm in bed now.

Nugget really wiggles about at this time of night. Going to be a nocturnal baby I think. With is feet kicking my bladder and lower though I worry that he might rupture the membranes and we would then have to rush in for an emergency c-section and I doubt Rob would make it back in time which would be really sad.

Shattered now, going to try and get some sleep and hopefully nothing will start during the night as I have lots to get organised tomorrow.

38 WEEKS & THE APPOINTMENT - 38 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

So we waited for Dad to arrive and we left pretty much straight away. The journey to the hospital can be really quick but then you end up trying to find somewhere to park for 20 minutes or there is loads of traffic on the way and you end up late. But we sailed through, caught all lights on green and parked right by the delivery suite so we were over 30 minutes early!

I said about staying in the car but Rob said it might be a good idea to just see if they can see us early anyway. I'm glad he did.

We signed in at reception, Rob got his little sticker and we walked through to the delivery suite which was deserted. We were met by a nice midwife called Anna. She went through all my paperwork, past pregnancies, took my BP and temperature, made me do a urine sample and then set me up to trace baby's heart rate for at least 20 minutes.

The baby is rather happy in there apparently and his heart rate was very good. The trace was started at 11:38am.

Shortly before 12pm Anna came in to say that Mr Grant wasn't going to be seeing me now and it would be a Judith ?, but I didn't think to ask if she was happy to do it because of my previous section as I knew Anna already had that information. Plus Rob had been speaking to her about the fact that Mr Grant was the only one happy to look at me for the ECV.

Anyway, Judith likes her ladies tilted for 20 minutes to help move the baby out of the pelvis so at 11:55am the bed was tilted down and I was left like that. It wasn't very nice to start with but I soon got used to it. The blood went to my head and my cheeks felt warm and I did feel baby move up under my ribs and I started to get stretchy pains down my sides as he was moving into a position he hadn't been in before.

This video was cut short as Anna came back in the room. They are in and out constantly so it was quite hard to get some time to do a little documentary.

Anna came back in saying that we were still waiting for Judith but it wouldn't be long, then when she arrived Anna gave her my notes and a few minutes after that she came back in to say that Mr Grant would be doing it after all as Judith won't do a previous c-section lady. What a farce! I didn't mind though I was just using the time to chill out.

Mr Grant came in and apologised and took the trace off my belly. I was tilted back up by now.

He talked through my history again and had a feel of bump then put the scanner on to have a proper look. He really did a thorough look of the position which had changed slightly from the 36 week scan. The baby is now feet down in the pelvis followed by his bum. He wasn't bum down last time. He then spent ages checking where the cord was going. He could see that it was under the chin and around by one ear but wasn't sure where it went the other side. He kept checking and finally said he thought it went around under the baby's chin and up the other side, not necessarily wrapped around his neck but under his chin at least.

He turned the scanner off and said that he could go through everything with me but the end result would be that he wouldn't be happy to do it. He said he would give my 5 minutes to think about it. What was there to think about?

As soon as he left I turned to Anna and just confirmed with her that what he was saying was he wasn't going to attempt it and she said yes. I was still confused what there was to talk about but never mind.

It had never struck me that this might be the outcome. I thought we would go in and he would either be turned or he wouldn't. Not that they wouldn't even attempt it! Threw me through another loop!

I of course started crying and was upset that I was now heading for a section. They were all a bit surprised that I was so unhappy as apparently it is rare for a woman not to be happy about not going through child birth in the natural way. If that makes sense.

They left Rob and I alone for a bit and then Anna came back in with a suggestion that I could come back for another scan on Thursday, only 48 hours later to see if the cord had moved. A glimmer of hope but it was only that. Mr Grant came to speak to me again and said he was sorry and I said "yeh, you've ruined my dream!" Just kidding of course. I really like him and I think he gets me. He said the chance of baby moving in 48 hours was slim to nil but he gets paid to do his job so he will scan me again if that's what I wanted to do.

We decided to book in for the section anyway so Mr Grant's assistant, a doctor called Penny started the paperwork. She was really nice too. We talked again through my medical history etc and then I had to sign some stuff. I decided to be a bit cheeky and to ask if my split stomach muscles could be sorted out at the same time. She said she would speak to Mr Grant and he came back in saying have I been watching Embarrassing Bodies as apparently someone on there had it done in last weeks episode. I just said that I had done my research and was just hoping it could be done. He explained that he hadn't done many but that I wouldn't be any worse off if he had a go at it, so nothing to lose really.

I was booked in for 10th March and Anna went through a few things with me. We wrote some birth plan stuff down and she gave me some pre op tablets and explained that I had to be nil by mouth the night before. She measured me up for the lovely socks that you get and told me that if my waters were to go or I started contracting that I should call them up and get in quite quickly.

Will have to go into hospital at 7:30am on 10th and just wait until it is my turn. There was one other c section booked in for that morning but that could change and also any emergencies will come before me. It could even be cancelled altogether and they will let us know by 4pm!

I was then asked to do a swab for MRSA and I stupidly thought it was to check if I had any infections down below so I said it wouldn't be a problem to swab my moo. Rob and Anna laughed their heads off as the swab was to just go in the inside of your nose! HAHAHA! I knew that once it had sunk in that it was for MRSA. Give me a break!

We had to wait a while for the notes to be written up and I was discharged around 2pm. I was really hungry so we went home via McDonald's, yummy.

My brain was frazzled and I was feeling quite drained but I made it to my active birthing class as I wanted to chat about it all and also to get some chocolate and a cuppa with a room full of pregnant women.

I had a good time and got lots of my chest. I did feel better about things after that.

The next decision on the agenda was whether or not to attend the scan on Thursday. I thought about it loads and in the end I decided to cancel it. Baby hadn't moved and I couldn't see how the cord would have moved in 48 hours. I know there might have been a slight chance but not sure it was all worth the effort or disappointment if it hadn't.

So we are set for 10th March for a c-section, hopefully with Mr Grant who can sort out my split tummy muscles as the same time. I'm not happy about it all but what can I do? Nothing. Just need to get my head around it. The main thing that bothers me now is that there seems to be a long time between now and then. I will be 39 +4 weeks pregnant which seems a little too close to the end and I'm worried that my waters will go before then which would lead to an emergency section, possibly not with Mr Grant so diastases wouldn't get looked at either. Rubbish! Ah well just need to accept it all now. But I am on edge and very restless.

Yesterday morning I woke at 5:30am unable to go back to sleep as I was having period pains and twinges etc and I was just waiting for something to happen. Obviously it didn't but I couldn't sleep.

Today I have been even more puffy than normal which is hard to believe and I'm feeling very very tired. Leo was up in the night and had been sick during the night so I had to clear that up first thing. Thankfully Sarah took Ellis to school this morning so I didn't have to get dressed and Leo didn't go to Sing and Sign so we haven't got dressed all day, lush. Just wish I could have spent the day in bed but Leo's nap time was taken up with the bloke being here looking at the boiler.

Rob is home now so hopefully he will look after all of us but he isn't well either. I've been coughing a lot which hurts my tummy and I've started to get a bit snotty too. Really, really bad timing for illness but hopefully it will clear before the 10th.

So it's a waiting game either way now. When we go in for the section they will scan me first on the off chance that baby has turned. If he has then I will then have the decision of whether I go for natural with the potential that the cord is still around his neck or go for the section anyway. I hate making decisions.

So here are the 38 week pictures and measurements which should have been done on a separate post but I can't be bothered.

38 weeks with Nugget,

38 weeks with Leo,

and 38 weeks with Ellis.



I wore the same clothes on purpose again, because why not.

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight = 14st 8lbs (+ 2st 13lbs) I've given up caring!

Tummy = 116cm (+22.5cm)

Upper arm = 30cm(+1cm)

Upper leg = 65.5cm (+4.5cm)

Ankle = 26cm (+2cm)

Neck = 36cm (+3cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 14st
Tummy = 114cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 64.5cm
Ankle = 25cm
Neck = 34.5cm

Right that is me up-to-date on this blog, hurrah! It may get changed once Rob reads it.

POSITIVE THINKING - 37 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

How quickly did the last 37 weeks go! Bump picture.

I had a midwife appointment the day after I saw the registrar and I'm not sure if I've written about it yet. I might have done on topflumps but not sure.

Anyway I saw Judith and she asked how I had got on at the hospital, I told her about it being breech and she was like "NO!" . She was really surprised. She tested my wee, did my blood pressure and felt my tummy and I think she didn't really know which way it was until I told her. She listened to the heart beat which took her a while to find as she was searching in a different place to normal because of him being breech but when she put the Doppler on the normal place she heard it. She said my babies are weird. Thanks!

My blood test results were missing so she said she would chase them up and then booked me in for 3 weeks time when I said I would of more than likely had it by then, if not then on the day of the appointment.

We did discuss going for a natural breech delivery but seeing as he is a footling breech, feet down rather than bum, this increases the risks quite a lot. Basically the cord can fall out and get squashed causing harm and possibly death to the baby. Not a risk worth taking.

I had my active birthing class on Tuesday and I was in a right strop. A lovely lady brought her son in and talked about her lovely active, natural birth that went really well. I was sulking of course.

I had a cry on the way home and I was still sulking when I spoke to Rob so he got pissy with me without really realising that I was having "issues!" Can't blame him, I was a right stroppy cow but I feel like I had a right to be, in a way anyway. We had a chat and he said the same things that everyone says, and all the things I already know so I basically told him to shut up and just give me a hug.

I'm starting to feel a bit better about the whole situation. I think the closer it gets the more relaxed I'm getting as time is running out. Going with the flow, being in the now, whatever attitude, what will be will be is all stuff I know but unable to put in to practice at the moment. I think if someone says it to me one more time I might scream out loud rather than just in my head!

I sound like a right spoiled brat! Here I am with a healthy baby boy in my belly ready to come into this family and all I can fixate on is how he is going to get here. I haven't even thought about the after bit, apart from if I have a section how awful it will be ;o)

I keep looking around at all the baby stuff and can't actually get my head around the fact that a little baby will be here very shortly. I need to start focusing more on how I feel about the baby and how he is going to fit into our family and preparing the boys for his arrival. Leo is so cute with bump, like Ellis was really. Ellis this time isn't so interested although he did put his hand on it today to have a feel.

We really don't have a name sorted. Nothing. I've been testing some out on Ellis but he doesn't like anything, apart from Sugar or Rocket. I really don't want to send out "the" text message with just baby arrived on it. I want to introduce him with a name as a person. I sound crazy I'm sure but I'm used to that. Rob really doesn't like the one name that I have come up with and to be honest even I'm not 100% sure of it, not like I was with Ellis and Leo. I didn't think I would get to have Leo's name though. Maybe we will try some names out when he is here before sending out the message. I've told Rob not to put anything on Facebook until we have spoken with family and sent out the text to close friends. I don't want anything on there until we know that he and I are safe and well.

I pretty much have everything ready. There are little things outstanding but they could be grabbed at the last minute. I need to make sure that camera batteries are charged and memory cards are cleared though, so will sort that tomorrow. The other thing outstanding is my birth plan. I've pretty much thrown that out the window for now. If things change on Tuesday then I will write it but for now I'm not actually going to bother.

Been feeling more tired recently. I'm sleeping okay when the boys let me. I have to regularly get up with one or both of them during the night and I need a wee break too so it is very disturbed sleep but not too painful like it was before. It does hurt to turn over, especially when Rob is here but my hips don't ache which is nice.

I've started to get a lot of acid indigestion which isn't nice so I'm trying to prop myself up a bit. I think because baby is breech and not engaging, and is getting a lot bigger, that he is pressing up on my stomach and causing it. Not much longer now.

Waking up with bloated legs and feet now which can feel uncomfortable at times. Rob gave me a really lush foot rub the other night and I've just asked for another so looking forward to that.

Tuesday is coming around fast but not fast enough if you know what I mean. I just want it done with now. I want some answers. But I am trying really hard to enjoy my time with the boys. By the end of the day I'm tired and touchy but we do have fun. This week has been quite hard as it has been half term but we have done some different things and chilled out together too which has been nice.

Having a lie in tomorrow morning then off to the spa in the afternoon. Really looking forward to a pamper day. It may well be my last lie in too if baby comes on Tuesday, which is possible.

I'm keeping my hopes up though that he might be turned, I am pretty sure he won't turn himself now but you never know I suppose. Fingers crossed for it all.