38 WEEKS & THE APPOINTMENT - 38 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

So we waited for Dad to arrive and we left pretty much straight away. The journey to the hospital can be really quick but then you end up trying to find somewhere to park for 20 minutes or there is loads of traffic on the way and you end up late. But we sailed through, caught all lights on green and parked right by the delivery suite so we were over 30 minutes early!

I said about staying in the car but Rob said it might be a good idea to just see if they can see us early anyway. I'm glad he did.

We signed in at reception, Rob got his little sticker and we walked through to the delivery suite which was deserted. We were met by a nice midwife called Anna. She went through all my paperwork, past pregnancies, took my BP and temperature, made me do a urine sample and then set me up to trace baby's heart rate for at least 20 minutes.

The baby is rather happy in there apparently and his heart rate was very good. The trace was started at 11:38am.

Shortly before 12pm Anna came in to say that Mr Grant wasn't going to be seeing me now and it would be a Judith ?, but I didn't think to ask if she was happy to do it because of my previous section as I knew Anna already had that information. Plus Rob had been speaking to her about the fact that Mr Grant was the only one happy to look at me for the ECV.

Anyway, Judith likes her ladies tilted for 20 minutes to help move the baby out of the pelvis so at 11:55am the bed was tilted down and I was left like that. It wasn't very nice to start with but I soon got used to it. The blood went to my head and my cheeks felt warm and I did feel baby move up under my ribs and I started to get stretchy pains down my sides as he was moving into a position he hadn't been in before.

This video was cut short as Anna came back in the room. They are in and out constantly so it was quite hard to get some time to do a little documentary.

Anna came back in saying that we were still waiting for Judith but it wouldn't be long, then when she arrived Anna gave her my notes and a few minutes after that she came back in to say that Mr Grant would be doing it after all as Judith won't do a previous c-section lady. What a farce! I didn't mind though I was just using the time to chill out.

Mr Grant came in and apologised and took the trace off my belly. I was tilted back up by now.

He talked through my history again and had a feel of bump then put the scanner on to have a proper look. He really did a thorough look of the position which had changed slightly from the 36 week scan. The baby is now feet down in the pelvis followed by his bum. He wasn't bum down last time. He then spent ages checking where the cord was going. He could see that it was under the chin and around by one ear but wasn't sure where it went the other side. He kept checking and finally said he thought it went around under the baby's chin and up the other side, not necessarily wrapped around his neck but under his chin at least.

He turned the scanner off and said that he could go through everything with me but the end result would be that he wouldn't be happy to do it. He said he would give my 5 minutes to think about it. What was there to think about?

As soon as he left I turned to Anna and just confirmed with her that what he was saying was he wasn't going to attempt it and she said yes. I was still confused what there was to talk about but never mind.

It had never struck me that this might be the outcome. I thought we would go in and he would either be turned or he wouldn't. Not that they wouldn't even attempt it! Threw me through another loop!

I of course started crying and was upset that I was now heading for a section. They were all a bit surprised that I was so unhappy as apparently it is rare for a woman not to be happy about not going through child birth in the natural way. If that makes sense.

They left Rob and I alone for a bit and then Anna came back in with a suggestion that I could come back for another scan on Thursday, only 48 hours later to see if the cord had moved. A glimmer of hope but it was only that. Mr Grant came to speak to me again and said he was sorry and I said "yeh, you've ruined my dream!" Just kidding of course. I really like him and I think he gets me. He said the chance of baby moving in 48 hours was slim to nil but he gets paid to do his job so he will scan me again if that's what I wanted to do.

We decided to book in for the section anyway so Mr Grant's assistant, a doctor called Penny started the paperwork. She was really nice too. We talked again through my medical history etc and then I had to sign some stuff. I decided to be a bit cheeky and to ask if my split stomach muscles could be sorted out at the same time. She said she would speak to Mr Grant and he came back in saying have I been watching Embarrassing Bodies as apparently someone on there had it done in last weeks episode. I just said that I had done my research and was just hoping it could be done. He explained that he hadn't done many but that I wouldn't be any worse off if he had a go at it, so nothing to lose really.

I was booked in for 10th March and Anna went through a few things with me. We wrote some birth plan stuff down and she gave me some pre op tablets and explained that I had to be nil by mouth the night before. She measured me up for the lovely socks that you get and told me that if my waters were to go or I started contracting that I should call them up and get in quite quickly.

Will have to go into hospital at 7:30am on 10th and just wait until it is my turn. There was one other c section booked in for that morning but that could change and also any emergencies will come before me. It could even be cancelled altogether and they will let us know by 4pm!

I was then asked to do a swab for MRSA and I stupidly thought it was to check if I had any infections down below so I said it wouldn't be a problem to swab my moo. Rob and Anna laughed their heads off as the swab was to just go in the inside of your nose! HAHAHA! I knew that once it had sunk in that it was for MRSA. Give me a break!

We had to wait a while for the notes to be written up and I was discharged around 2pm. I was really hungry so we went home via McDonald's, yummy.

My brain was frazzled and I was feeling quite drained but I made it to my active birthing class as I wanted to chat about it all and also to get some chocolate and a cuppa with a room full of pregnant women.

I had a good time and got lots of my chest. I did feel better about things after that.

The next decision on the agenda was whether or not to attend the scan on Thursday. I thought about it loads and in the end I decided to cancel it. Baby hadn't moved and I couldn't see how the cord would have moved in 48 hours. I know there might have been a slight chance but not sure it was all worth the effort or disappointment if it hadn't.

So we are set for 10th March for a c-section, hopefully with Mr Grant who can sort out my split tummy muscles as the same time. I'm not happy about it all but what can I do? Nothing. Just need to get my head around it. The main thing that bothers me now is that there seems to be a long time between now and then. I will be 39 +4 weeks pregnant which seems a little too close to the end and I'm worried that my waters will go before then which would lead to an emergency section, possibly not with Mr Grant so diastases wouldn't get looked at either. Rubbish! Ah well just need to accept it all now. But I am on edge and very restless.

Yesterday morning I woke at 5:30am unable to go back to sleep as I was having period pains and twinges etc and I was just waiting for something to happen. Obviously it didn't but I couldn't sleep.

Today I have been even more puffy than normal which is hard to believe and I'm feeling very very tired. Leo was up in the night and had been sick during the night so I had to clear that up first thing. Thankfully Sarah took Ellis to school this morning so I didn't have to get dressed and Leo didn't go to Sing and Sign so we haven't got dressed all day, lush. Just wish I could have spent the day in bed but Leo's nap time was taken up with the bloke being here looking at the boiler.

Rob is home now so hopefully he will look after all of us but he isn't well either. I've been coughing a lot which hurts my tummy and I've started to get a bit snotty too. Really, really bad timing for illness but hopefully it will clear before the 10th.

So it's a waiting game either way now. When we go in for the section they will scan me first on the off chance that baby has turned. If he has then I will then have the decision of whether I go for natural with the potential that the cord is still around his neck or go for the section anyway. I hate making decisions.

So here are the 38 week pictures and measurements which should have been done on a separate post but I can't be bothered.

38 weeks with Nugget,

38 weeks with Leo,

and 38 weeks with Ellis.



I wore the same clothes on purpose again, because why not.

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight = 14st 8lbs (+ 2st 13lbs) I've given up caring!

Tummy = 116cm (+22.5cm)

Upper arm = 30cm(+1cm)

Upper leg = 65.5cm (+4.5cm)

Ankle = 26cm (+2cm)

Neck = 36cm (+3cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 14st
Tummy = 114cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 64.5cm
Ankle = 25cm
Neck = 34.5cm

Right that is me up-to-date on this blog, hurrah! It may get changed once Rob reads it.

POSITIVE THINKING - 37 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

How quickly did the last 37 weeks go! Bump picture.

I had a midwife appointment the day after I saw the registrar and I'm not sure if I've written about it yet. I might have done on topflumps but not sure.

Anyway I saw Judith and she asked how I had got on at the hospital, I told her about it being breech and she was like "NO!" . She was really surprised. She tested my wee, did my blood pressure and felt my tummy and I think she didn't really know which way it was until I told her. She listened to the heart beat which took her a while to find as she was searching in a different place to normal because of him being breech but when she put the Doppler on the normal place she heard it. She said my babies are weird. Thanks!

My blood test results were missing so she said she would chase them up and then booked me in for 3 weeks time when I said I would of more than likely had it by then, if not then on the day of the appointment.

We did discuss going for a natural breech delivery but seeing as he is a footling breech, feet down rather than bum, this increases the risks quite a lot. Basically the cord can fall out and get squashed causing harm and possibly death to the baby. Not a risk worth taking.

I had my active birthing class on Tuesday and I was in a right strop. A lovely lady brought her son in and talked about her lovely active, natural birth that went really well. I was sulking of course.

I had a cry on the way home and I was still sulking when I spoke to Rob so he got pissy with me without really realising that I was having "issues!" Can't blame him, I was a right stroppy cow but I feel like I had a right to be, in a way anyway. We had a chat and he said the same things that everyone says, and all the things I already know so I basically told him to shut up and just give me a hug.

I'm starting to feel a bit better about the whole situation. I think the closer it gets the more relaxed I'm getting as time is running out. Going with the flow, being in the now, whatever attitude, what will be will be is all stuff I know but unable to put in to practice at the moment. I think if someone says it to me one more time I might scream out loud rather than just in my head!

I sound like a right spoiled brat! Here I am with a healthy baby boy in my belly ready to come into this family and all I can fixate on is how he is going to get here. I haven't even thought about the after bit, apart from if I have a section how awful it will be ;o)

I keep looking around at all the baby stuff and can't actually get my head around the fact that a little baby will be here very shortly. I need to start focusing more on how I feel about the baby and how he is going to fit into our family and preparing the boys for his arrival. Leo is so cute with bump, like Ellis was really. Ellis this time isn't so interested although he did put his hand on it today to have a feel.

We really don't have a name sorted. Nothing. I've been testing some out on Ellis but he doesn't like anything, apart from Sugar or Rocket. I really don't want to send out "the" text message with just baby arrived on it. I want to introduce him with a name as a person. I sound crazy I'm sure but I'm used to that. Rob really doesn't like the one name that I have come up with and to be honest even I'm not 100% sure of it, not like I was with Ellis and Leo. I didn't think I would get to have Leo's name though. Maybe we will try some names out when he is here before sending out the message. I've told Rob not to put anything on Facebook until we have spoken with family and sent out the text to close friends. I don't want anything on there until we know that he and I are safe and well.

I pretty much have everything ready. There are little things outstanding but they could be grabbed at the last minute. I need to make sure that camera batteries are charged and memory cards are cleared though, so will sort that tomorrow. The other thing outstanding is my birth plan. I've pretty much thrown that out the window for now. If things change on Tuesday then I will write it but for now I'm not actually going to bother.

Been feeling more tired recently. I'm sleeping okay when the boys let me. I have to regularly get up with one or both of them during the night and I need a wee break too so it is very disturbed sleep but not too painful like it was before. It does hurt to turn over, especially when Rob is here but my hips don't ache which is nice.

I've started to get a lot of acid indigestion which isn't nice so I'm trying to prop myself up a bit. I think because baby is breech and not engaging, and is getting a lot bigger, that he is pressing up on my stomach and causing it. Not much longer now.

Waking up with bloated legs and feet now which can feel uncomfortable at times. Rob gave me a really lush foot rub the other night and I've just asked for another so looking forward to that.

Tuesday is coming around fast but not fast enough if you know what I mean. I just want it done with now. I want some answers. But I am trying really hard to enjoy my time with the boys. By the end of the day I'm tired and touchy but we do have fun. This week has been quite hard as it has been half term but we have done some different things and chilled out together too which has been nice.

Having a lie in tomorrow morning then off to the spa in the afternoon. Really looking forward to a pamper day. It may well be my last lie in too if baby comes on Tuesday, which is possible.

I'm keeping my hopes up though that he might be turned, I am pretty sure he won't turn himself now but you never know I suppose. Fingers crossed for it all.

ECV BOOKED - 36 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

It's the day after the day after and I'm going to try and blog about all the recent happenings. Not sure if I will finish it tonight as I'm hanging even though it is only 8pm.

So anyway on Tuesday I had an appointment at the hospital to see a registrar to discuss my options of birth. I knew I just wanted to have the most active and natural birth that was possible for me within their hospital policies. Just before I left for the appointment I had a chat with Judith (my midwife) who was taking the breastfeeding antenatal class and she said that they would scan me that day if they weren't sure what way up the baby was.

I picked Mum up and went to the hospital. When we arrived we were told there was a delay to see the doctor and the waiting room was full up. I said I really needed to pee so if I needed to do a wee sample, could I do it now please. To start with she said, "just go to the loo now and have a drink after" but I said I'll just do it now. She eventually looked into it and a midwife came out to take me down to do the wee sample. She also took my blood pressure and weighed me. While she was doing all this I was just chatting away but happened to mention that I wanted a scan to see how the baby was lying. First thing she said was "you wouldn't need to know if you're having a c-section". Of course I soon put her straight and said that I thought it was a waste of time me talking through my options if they were actually limited anyway. She said she couldn't authorise the scan and that the registrar would palpate me and get me scanned if they weren't sure. I was okay with that but still said it could save time to do it first.

On my way back to the waiting room I overheard her talking to someone else about my case and 2 minutes after sitting down I was called in for a scan as I was told the doctor wouldn't have time to palpate me because they were so far behind.

Just before the wand was put on my belly the sonographer asked what position I thought he was in and when she looked she said I was dead right. The placenta is at the very top of bump, his head is up on my left side, back running across the top with bum down on the right and legs and hands are right down in my pelvis area. She did some measurements and estimated his current weight at 5lbs 13oz, checked the fluid level which was good and we had a look at the cord. She said there was lots of cord and that it wasn't around his neck, all of which are good signs for trying to turn the little bugger around. Here is a picture of what position he is in, pretty much anyway, including where the placenta is.

I went back to the waiting room, called Rob, then had a long wait to see the doctor. Time passed quite quickly but I was in a right mood. Pissed off, scared, annoyed, nervous, worried etc etc. We were called in by a young female doctor who immediately started off by saying about getting me booked in for a section. Hold up, wait a minute! I explained what had happened with the scan and that I was very keen to try an ECV. She asked why I didn't want a section and said they wouldn't be keen to do an ECV on someone who had had a previous section. I said I know that but would they please do it. She said she would have to speak to her boss about it and so she left the room.

She returned not long after with her boss in tow who was the man we had seen at the beginning of the pregnancy that said I should have my blood pressure taken every 2 weeks, from 20 weeks of pregnancy! Anyway, he started on about the risks and that they wouldn't want to do it and that he wouldn't do one and neither would Mr McCloud who was the main dude and the man I had seen for treatment after having Leo. That did scare me a bit but he said he would ring around and try and find someone but that it might not be at that hospital. I was fine with that. The risks are that my scar will be stretched and torn open causing me to bleed out. You also have the usual risks of the placenta coming away from the wall and fetal distress. Basically if any of that happens I would be taken straight into surgery and he would be taken out.

So he went out and came back in saying that he had found someone, a Dr S Grant who would do the ECV in 2 weeks time as he was on holiday the following week. Most ECVs need to be done in week 37 and I'll be in week 38 but I can't complain really. So I'm booked in to have it done on 1st March. I have to call the delivery suite in the morning between 8 and 9am and they will tell me what time to come in. I'm not allowed anything to eat from 6am and I should be having it done around 12pm but that all depends on how busy they are. If successful I have to stay on delivery suite for 3 hours before I can go home. If unsuccessful then I will be booked in for a c-section for the following week and if there are any problems then I will be having a baby there and then! I have to take all my stuff with me but leave it in the car. My blue V pillow is coming in with me though.

I left feeling rather flustered obviously and not sure what I was doing. Mum was a bit unsure about my decision too but all I could think of was that I didn't want a c-section so any alternative, I will take. So the decision was made for me and thankfully because I seemed to be well informed according to the 2 doctors they were happy to discuss it all with me. I think if I didn't know anything they would have just booked me in and that would be that. I was asked why I was so against having a c-section by the doctors and friends and it's not that I'm against them as such and that I want to have this au natural birthing experience, it's a case of I have 2, then 3 children to look after, I need to drive, if I have any more children it would automatically mean a c-section, it's major abdominal surgery which comes with risks, I didn't recover well from my previous section, and if I could have a normal birth I would prefer it.

Obviously it has really done my head in. I'm so confused and worried about whether or not I'm doing the right thing, should I just cave in and book in for a section, should I just try the ECV anyway as I've fought for it and tons more thoughts. I'm really not looking forward to the actual experience of having the ECV done but if it works out how great would that be. I'm just really struggling with being positive, being in the now, having a whatever attitude, all the things that I have preached to friends. I've had so many people say to me that as long as baby is alright that's all that matters, what will be will be, and that it wouldn't be that bad having a section and of course I know this but that doesn't change the way I feel right now. I know it could be worse and I feel so stupid sometimes that I'm moaning on about it when I have friends that have lost babies, would do anything to get and stay pregnant and here I am fussing about how it's coming out.

My thoughts have been taken over with the position of this baby and ECV. If it is successful I will quickly have to turn my head back around and start thinking about preparing myself for labour and birth. If not then I have to come to terms with how it will end up. It's the not knowing and waiting that is driving me crazy. I know 2/4 weeks isn't that long but it certainly feels like it at the moment.

I'll try and do another post in a few days with how I'm feeling then but for now I'm feeling pretty down. I need to snap out of it I know and be positive, happy and excited but it just isn't happening at the moment. Thank you to all my friends who have been trying to keep my chin up. I'm a tough cookie and will be fine I'm sure.

FRAZZLED - 36 WEEKS, 1 DAY

What a day! I should do a blog today really while it is all fresh in my mind but saying that my mind is frazzled and I'm ready for bed really. Might watch some crap on telly, veg with Bobert then go to bed. Had very little sleep last night and was in and out of bed so been tired all day anyway.

Here are some pictures of bump just because.

36 weeks with Nugget.

36 weeks with Leo.

Will do a post tomorrow night, with my laptop in bed.

BONDING - 35 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

Piles are a pain in the arse! I've suffered with them for a long time but since having Leo they have been quite bad and since being pregnant again, they are really bad. I've been using the cream and stuff but it isn't making any difference. Not too uncomfortable though so that's good.

Been feeling a lot better recently, physically. Emotionally I'm all over the place. One minute I'm so positive, happy and excited, the next I'm shit scared, miserable, stressed etc. I'm pretty sure it is normal to be like this and Rob is coping quite well with all the ups and downs.

One concern that I have at the moment is bonding with the new baby. With Ellis it took me around 3 months before I felt like I was close to my baby. There were a lot of things that played a part in this. I was a first time Mummy, I hadn't seen him leave my body and I didn't have the birth I expected, recovery for me was slow, his feeding didn't go well to start with and he lost weight and I just generally struggled I think so it was a job to get through each day. Leo on the other hand was completely different. I felt like I started bonding with him while he was in my tummy. I would talk to him, sing to him, read to him, call him him, would love feeling and watching his movements and then as soon as I pulled him up on to my chest I just felt it. Not really sure what "it" is but it wasn't foreign, it was warm and close. Feeding Leo was easy and not painful and my recovery was better, not great but a lot better, plus I knew how to do all the necessary things like changing a nappy so I could spend more time giving him love, cuddles and other attention. Sounds really bad that maybe I didn't do that with Ellis to start with but I'm sure I did, I just don't really remember it. I just remember working very, very hard.

So I'm not really sure what I'm trying to say or how to put it at least, but I just know that I am worried that I won't feel the same. Have to wait and see I suppose and to try not to put too much pressure on myself. It's going to be tough going I know that much but I just want to enjoy it all if possible.

Swelling is increasing nicely. Last night I sat on my ball on my PC and I must have been sat in one position for too long because as soon as I moved I realised that my feet were stinging. I showed Rob and he said I just had legs that went straight down to my feet. I had no ankles and my feet were massive. Rob could put a thumb sized dent in them which would last for a while. Not nice, not attractive. I sat with them raised after a quick rub from Rob and had some water but it didn't help that much so I ended up going to bed. I'll try and get a picture. I've realised that I haven't really posted pictures on this blog that much. I will try and rectify that, even if it is just random bump pictures or something.

I've really started to feel this pregnancy and I'm struggling more at this stage then I did with the first 2 pregnancies. I think I'm a bit older now, my body has been through a lot since 2006 and I have 2 kiddies to look after without Rob around as much. It's bound to take its toll but I keep going. Rob thanked me this evening for soldiering on and that he appreciated how hard I was working. That's always nice to hear.

Been really busy today. I tried to have a lie in but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get comfy, the sun was shining in, the boys downstairs were really loud, the bloke outside was cleaning our car and Rob came in a few times. Admittedly on one occasion he brought me up a cuppa and a bowl of cereal which I really needed.

I eventually got up and started my hospital bag. It's 90% there now which is great. It isn't in a bag but it is all together on the side so just needs to be scooped up. A lot of the stuff that isn't in can't be packed yet because I use it, like the cameras, my hair brush, dressing gown etc. I don't have slippers yet so need to purchase some of those and I really need a different t-shirt to go with my new pyjama bottoms.

I also need to start work on my wish list (birth plan) so that I can complete all my notes and I want to make sure I have a TENS machine on Tuesday, so better e-mail Vivien about that.

Can't believe how close it is! Not as close as Naomi as she gave birth to a little boy, Harri, on Friday. He was 5lb 5oz and I believe they are still in hospital for now. I would think they would stay a few days to make sure he is eating well and putting on weight seeing as he is so early.

I don't know any details and I can't wait to catch up with her properly. I'm so happy for her that everything turned out well, but a little bit jealous that she has been through it, out the other side and now has her baby and can just move on. Does that make sense? I'm still a ticking bomb and she has her body back, without the extra 4/6 weeks of weight gain too! Shouldn't rush these things though and I know it is safer for baby to be inside for a while longer yet.

Hopefully be able to get a little bit of cleaning done tomorrow. The dust in this house is amazing! I know I don't clean enough but it's like I said to Rob today, once I've finished tidying so that I can clean, I'm too tired or the boys need attention and I can't do it! Will try at least to run the vacuum around the upstairs tomorrow. Want to clean the bathroom too. Shattered just thinking about it.

Okay, I'm off to try and get some sleep, not an easy task mind you but I'll give it a good go.

35 WEEKS - 35 WEEKS

Again I have left it too long between posts and I have so much to write about. I was going to do a video diary but I can't be doing with the processing of the videos when I have so much to talk about. At least this way I can stop myself from waffling so much.

Just going to do the 35 week measurements and pictures in this post and then will do another entry soon to cover the last 10 days or so.

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight - 14st 1lb (+ 2st 5lb!!!!!!) I knew I would make up for the lack of eating at Christmas! I've put on 11lbs in 5 weeks! SHIT! That can't be right can it?!

Tummy - 112cm (18.5cm)

Upper arm - 29cm

Upper leg - 64cm (3cm)

Ankle - 25cm (1cm)

Neck - 35cm (2cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 13st 6lb

Tummy = 111cm

Upper arm = 29cm

Upper leg = 63.5cm

Ankle = 24.5cm

Neck = 34cm

Bump picture while pregnant with Ellis.

So there you have it. I'm a huge beast!

30 WEEKS PREGNANT

Every time I do a measurements blog entry I get totally confused! The main problem I have is that I didn't do 0 week measurements, only 17 week measurements, but I have been using a starting weight of 11st 10lbs to judge the weight gain. When I come to do the overall figures I am going from when I was 17 weeks upwards, but the weight is done from pre-pregnancy. See I can't even explain it properly!

Well here are the measurements and bump pictures:

Measurements with Nugget:

Weight = 13st 4lbs! Only 4lbs over Leo pregnancy weight! Very strange and only 4lbs put on since I was 25 weeks. Total overall gain so far - (+1st 8lbs!)

Tummy = 105cm (+11.5cm)

Upper arm = 29cm

Upper leg = 63.5cm (+2.5cm)

Ankle = 24.5cm (+.5cm)

Neck = 34.5cm (+1.5cm)

Measurements with Leo:

Weight = 13st
Tummy = 104cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 61.5cm
Ankle = 24cm
Neck = 33cm

Bump picture while pregnant with Ellis.

I really struggled to believe that I was 30 weeks pregnant today. I had to keep checking and I didn't believe it each time. I'm really starting to feel quite big and I have a good waddle going now. Pelvis has been poor for 2 days now and I'm only hoping that it improves a bit as I still have another 10 weeks of growing to do!

I'm surprised that I have only gained 4lbs in 5 weeks, especially over the Christmas period but I have been quite ill at times and haven't really been eating as much as I would usually. I'm sure I will make up for it now I'm starting to feel better.

I have my flu jab on Thursday. Hopefully it will stop me becoming ill again before baby arrives as I still have so much sorting out to do.

Hopefully starting AB classes again soon. I can't go on the 11th as I have a committee meeting but I am hoping to start the following Tuesday. I really need to get my head in gear.

I think baby still isn't head down, but what do I know. My bladder takes a pounding every day, so unless his feet are up by his head, I'm guessing he is the wrong way around still.

Baby at 30 weeks.

The baby's lungs and digestive tract are almost fully developed. While the baby may soon slow up growing in length, (he measures about 15.7 inches/ 40 centimetres from crown to toe by now), he will continue to gain weight until he's born.

This week the baby continues to open and shut his eyes. He can probably see what's going on in utero, distinguish light from dark and even track a light source. If you shine a light on your stomach, the baby may move his head to follow the light or even reach out to touch the moving glow. Some researchers think baring your stomach to light stimulates visual development. But don't expect 20/20 vision when the baby is born -- newborns can see a distance of only about 8 to 12 inches/ 20 to 30 centimetres. (Children with normal vision don't reach 20/20 vision until about age 7 to 9.) To complete the picture, your baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes.

A pint and a half/ around a litre of amniotic fluid now surrounds the baby but that volume decreases as he gets bigger and has less room in your uterus. As you and the baby continue to grow, don't be alarmed if you feel as if you can't get enough air, it's just your uterus pressing against your diaphragm.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. At about 34 weeks (or just before birth, if this is your second or third pregnancy), your baby's head will move down into your pelvis as the baby gets into the right position for birth. That will make breathing and eating a lot easier.

BIG - 26 WEEKS, 6 DAYS

Been feeling fine. I did slip on Ellis' rug last night and pulled my pelvis but it seems to have got better as the day has gone on which is great news.

Feeling tons of kicks and movement now but it is all still very low down. I've convinced myself already that this baby will be breach. I don't know why, I just have. Will try and convince Judith (midwife) to give me a late scan to double check.

Looking forward to the 4d scan next week but a little bit nervous too. It will be very strange seeing our baby's face.

Saw Naomi on Friday night and she hardly has a bump! I'm so massive in comparison to her and I'm a lot taller so you would think she would show more too. Hopefully the scan will be able to show if the size of the baby is okay for this stage.

Loving being pregnant.

25 WEEKS - 26 WEEKS, 3 DAYS

Right then here is my 25 week post when I am 26 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Better late than never!

Bump pictures and measurements first before chat.

Me with Ellis

Me with Leo

Me with Nugget.

Measurements with Leo

Weight = 12st 6lb
Tummy = 98cm
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 60cm
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 33cm

Measurements with Nugget

Weight = 13st! (+1st 5lbs!!!! SHIT!) With Leo pregnancy I had put on 12lbs at this stage.

Tummy = 100cm

Upper arm = 29cm

Upper leg = 63cm

Ankle = 23.5cm

Neck = 33.5cm

So overall I am much bigger than my second pregnancy but I did start off from a higher level anyway. Never mind, I'm sure when I'm looking after 3 children aged 3 1/2 and below I won't have too much time to eat and the weight will come back off a bit quicker than before.

I've started to shop a bit for Nugget and I will soon be getting his room ready, after Christmas actually but I'm at least thinking about it.

The crib is in from the garage which needs a clean and I have to purchase a new mattress. I won't bother with mattress covers as I have loads. Will have lots of washing to do though.

I don't have much to buy really. The newborn vests and grows are barely used so they will be fine. The next size up I might get rid of some but then again I might not.

I managed to find a do do which I love. It's the same as Leo's but a different colour.

And I think I bought a coming home outfit as the one used for Leo and Ellis is too summery.

I've also bought a snow suit, which is lush! It isn't too thick so should get away with it for the first month. It didn't cost too much money so don't worry Sally.

I was supposed to see the physio and the midwife the week commencing 29th November but Leo was unwell, and still is, so I changed it and the midwife appointment was working out to be too much hassle right before Ellis' swimming lesson so I changed that too. She couldn't fit me in until 23rd December and I'll be just over 28 weeks by then. I haven't seen her since 16 weeks. That's a huge gap but normal for subsequent pregnancies apparently.

Pelvis pain has been up and down. Mostly up though and I can't complain. I do hobble about and I walk as though one leg is longer than the other. It also takes me a few steps when I get up to loosen up a bit so that I can walk freely. I haven't been wearing my stretchy bandage thing as I don't think I need it yet.

With this pregnancy I am certainly getting more painful muscle twinges. I only had it a couple of times with Leo. It's like an electric shock running down the right side of my belly button. I know it's to do with the diastases (which you can read about here) and it won't be getting better until baby is out.

Overall though at the moment I must admit that apart from hobbling and feeling a few twinges, stings etc I am feeling fine. I don't even notice I'm pregnant half the time and sometimes when I'm stretching first thing in the morning and Nugget gives me a "gentle" kick to the bladder I suddenly remember what is going on in there. Please don't think I don't think about him as I do, a lot.

My bump is massive! It really sticks out quite a long way, so does my arse and thighs mind you. I measured it yesterday, my bump that is, and I think I'm about 2 weeks over on my size! I hope I'm wrong. Ellis and Leo weren't huge babies though. They were both overdue, Leo was 8lb 1 1/2 ounces and Ellis was 7lb 13 1/2 ounces. Which is about average apparently.

I don't like the look of my bump this time for a few reasons. The excess skin from Leo hangs out at the bottom which is just plain weird and my stretch marks are horrific to me. I love looking at it with clothes on but unlike the first 2 pregnancies I tend to keep it covered up. I often catch Rob looking at it though and because I'm paranoid I think he is thinking the same thing but he says he loves it. He said he thinks it's the cutest bump I've had. That was sweet to say so.

Nugget is kicking a lot more but 99.9% of the movement is down towards my bladder and just above my pubic bone. It's very strange and I hope it moves up a bit soon so I can video some of the movement. I have had a go but it isn't working just yet. Still have time.

Boobs are huge too! They look funny really but I like them. Need to get down to Perfect Fit for a new under wired bra. I know I shouldn't be wearing one but I have to. I've not had any problems with milk supply with the first 2 and by the size of these things, I don't think I will this time either. I wonder how all that will go. When I got pregnant with Leo my boobs were still leaking and continued to do so for the whole pregnancy but this time they weren't leaking to start with and haven't started now either. Feeding Leo was a breeze in comparison to Ellis so I just hope we have the same again please.

I've started to get a bit of indigestion recently. Nothing major just a bit of acid reflux every now and then. I slept in a sitting up position the other night but that has only happened once. I'm sure more will come when baby grows a bit more.

Appetite is all over the place. Some days I'm so hungry I could just sit and eat but others like the last 2 days, I can take it or leave it.

I finally decided that I did want to go ahead with a 4d scan and so I am booked in to have one on the 18th December. I really can't wait! Mum's are coming too which will be nice and the boys are being looked after by Uncle Dave (Ellis) and Grandad Rennolds (Leo). We did want to go out for food after but Uncle Dave has to go out in the evening so we have to get back.

I am in 2 minds about posting the pictures and videos from the scan. I'm not sure if I want to keep my baby's face private or not. I share everything else (not the name) so was thinking about keeping that for us. But then I want to record it on here so I am having a dilemma. I'm pretty sure I will post it as I know very few people actually read this blog anyway.

We have also bought a new car again. Rob has picked it up but refuses to bring it back home until it has been cleaned as he is worried about my response. I know he likes it and he really wants me too, and I'm sure I will, but he just wants to make sure. It is a Land Rover Discovery 3, 2.7 tdi, 2004, automatic, dark blue, cream leather interior, it has TV screens in the back and lots of other stuff. This one we can't send back but the health check at the garage had a very positive report and we were lucky to get it as someone else couldn't get their funds together in time so it was offered to us instead. YAY!

Can't wait to meet my baba! But I'm also happy to wait if you know what I mean. I'll get a little glimpse in 9 days! That reminds me, I'm into double figures now for how long I have left. Scary stuff!

Going to start my Active Birthing classes soon and I would love for Naomi to come with me but pretty sure she isn't up for it. I just want her to come to one or two just to see what it's all about as I think you can be put off just by what it is called.

Starting my antenatal classes after Crimbo. I really want to go to them again as it's a bit of a refresher and hopefully I can help by sharing any experience that I may have. It's also nice to have a natter with other women in the same boat. I just hope that I can find someone to have the boys for me on a Tuesday morning! Any takers please?

Huge blog which I didn't really want to start but once I got going I couldn't stop! Definitely have preggers brain though as I sent a Christmas card to my sister with the name of her dog that she had put down a year ago on it and I tried to put Leo's slipper on his hand today! Very funny.

Off to chill for 2 minutes before going to bed. Doesn't make sense I know.

20 WEEK SCAN - 24 WEEKS, 2 DAYS

It's been a very long time between posts but I have been having trouble on deciding on how to actually write this one. I want to be honest about my feelings but I don't want to upset anyone that might read this. Very hard for me to explain. I was going to just cut and paste the story of the scan from topflumps, and I pretty much will but will elaborate on feelings etc.

So lets go back to the week of the scan, I hadn't been feeling quite right since my curry night with the girls but had nothing to show for it other than cramps, pains, and just generally feeling a bit sick.

Unfortunately it got rather worse on Friday which was a shame as it was the day of our 20 week scan (at 21+4 days). I was barely eating and just didn't feel right. I had quite dizzy spells too and just generally felt very tired all the time. I thought it was pregnancy related but maybe it was a bug.

Friday afternoon Mum came over at 2pm to take care of Leo and to pick Ellis up from school so that Rob and I could go for the scan. We got to the hospital and there were plenty of parking spaces which was lucky. We signed in and paid for some pictures. I wanted 4 and they were £4 each! Rob couldn't believe it when he received his change from a £20 note.

We sat waiting, me huffing and puffing because I felt so rotten and Rob huffing and puffing because of the cost of the pictures, before being called in quite quickly.

The ladies name was Tracy and she was very friendly. We went into a scan room we haven't been in before which was nice and I got up on the table and we could soon see our little Nugget on the screen.

We had a little look around and on examining the face we saw the mouth open and shut a few times. It was like it was talking to us! The examiner replayed the pictures and it was so funny to see. It's going to be a chatterbox like Ellis.

Rob's face was about an inch away from the monitor as he was trying to hunt down the male or female parts. I really didn't want to know and was so determined not to find out but after showing us the skull, brain, eyes, mouth, heart, kidneys, there it was. Both Rob and I said at the same time "it's a boy then?!" I've seen it's got a willy. Tracy laughed a bit nervously as she hadn't told us to look away etc and it was pretty obvious as she was zooming up and down the babies legs to kidneys area that there was indeed a penis.

All 3 or us spent a long time talking about it being our 3rd little boy and how my life was doomed to be seriously outnumbered, forever blue with toilet seats up and rowdy boys running and jumping around. Rob quickly turned to me and said "don't think you will be getting a 4th because of this!". I was genuinely not surprised that it was another boy but I so wish we hadn't found out at that moment as I felt the tiniest bit of excitement dissipate. The thought and hope that it could have been a little girl were gone and I now have a few months to get used to the idea of another boy.

Tracy took some pictures and at the end said she had gone a bit overboard taking pictures and not to tell the front desk. I was quite excited about that but she actually only went overboard by 1. We had 5 pictures and 4 of them are the same front on view of the skull. No hand or foot, side on profile, body, nothing. I wish I had thought to ask at the time but we were so busy talking about it being a boy that I forgot.

Back at home we told the boys and Mum the news which was all rather exciting and then I started to receive text message replies to a message I had sent out telling everyone else what had happened. I had some lovely responses back and one from Sophie (AB) made my Mum and I cry. Lush.

I had a lot of messages saying, better luck next time, have to go for a 4th then etc but I think 3 boys is enough for anyone thank you. Chances are the 4th would be a boy anyway. There was only a 1:4 chance of this one being a boy.

I am very happy that the baby appears normal and healthy and I know that pink, or blue, babies are a blessing. This still didn't stop me from crying in Asda about the fact that I would never get to buy pink stuff. It sounds so silly as I am a Mum of such amazing children that I should be sad about this stuff. Some people can't even have children of their own or struggle for a very very long time to get one, which is why I have really been struggling with my feelings recently. I feel very guilty that I am crying and upset that I will never get to experience having a daughter or being able to buy pink things when some people can't buy or experience any of it! I can't help the way I feel though and I have been a bit sad.

I shared with Rob some of what I was feeling but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what to say. Plus it's not something he can just fix so it must be hard for him.

I will obviously get over it and I can't wait to meet my baby in March. In fact recently I seem to be wishing the time to come sooner. With the past 2 pregnancies I wanted to savour every minute but this time, although I am enjoying it for the most part, I just want him here. I want to see what he looks like, I want to give him cuddles and I want the boys to meet him.

So having said all that, I now need to get up-to-date with how I have been since then.

I am currently 24 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

My boobs and butt don't look like that!

23 week bump picture which I forgot to put on sidebar.

I have really started to feel Nugget move in the last 2 weeks. So much later than with the first 2. I try all the time to just stop for a minute to feel it but during the day when Leo is awake it is very difficult as he comes over and just gives it a wack. Ellis is better but he does jump around a lot which makes my belly wobble anyway.

I can now see the movement from outside too which has also taken a while this time and the other strange thing for me is that all the kicks and prods are very low down. I mean on my c-section scar and below! Way too low I think. Maybe from all the hard pushing with Leo, everything has sagged down that little bit further, as I know my bladder has.

Bladder is working ok. I don't get leaks but it doesn't really tell me when I need to go so when I do go I can be there for ages and I realise that I probably should have gone sooner.

I am having to get up in the night to wee too which I have never done before either. So many different things this time! Apart from the sex of the baby obviously.

The baby jumps at loud noises now so when the boys shout or something gets dropped I feel it jump about. I love feeling the movements. It doesn't get any more special than that.

My bump this time isn't very attractive, according to me anyway. I have a funny over hang at the bottom and my stretch marks are disgusting. I actually find it quite depressing how vile my skin is. I was hoping not to get any new ones this time but I'm quite itchy as the skin is stretching so maybe I will. I cream and oil up all the time so I can't be told I haven't tried to stop them.

Over the last week or so my pelvis pain under my left buttock has really kicked in. Some days it is quite bad and I hobble around like a very old person. Other days it just twinges every now and then. I'm trying really hard to do my exercises and I have a physio appointment soon so I will probably be told to wear my stretchy bandage which should help a bit for a while, hopefully. I'm also trying to not complain about it too much as when I was pregnant with Leo I was always going on about it. It's just one of those things that happens to me and I have to get on with it. As long as baby comes out ok and I'm alright, it doesn't matter. I really would love to get my stomach sorted out after though. Might look into that. Not for cosmetic reasons although that would be nice but for health reasons really. My stomach muscles are shot from 3 pregnancies, being cut for a c-section and cut for an appendectomy. Hopefully they could do something about my bladder too. That's all a long way off yet.

I am hoping to go for a 4d scan this time. We didn't with the others as we didn't have the cash but I really would like to have one done. I've found a good place recommended to us and it isn't stupidly priced. Will look into booking that soon and hopefully Mum's could come too or something.

I am also going to go back to my Active Birthing classes but I'm not quite sure when to start. Might leave it until after Christmas but then that only gives me 2 whole months! Might be enough to get my head in gear. If anything I'm feeling too cocky this time and need to be careful that I'm not over confident. Every time is a new time. Baby might be breach yet for all I know!

Right, done it now. Might leave a bit of a gap again unless something interesting happens.

HALFWAY - 20 WEEKS

The baby measures about 6.5 inches/ 16.5 centimetres from crown to rump and is steadily gaining weight. A whitish coat of a slick, fatty substance called vernix caseosa begins to cover the baby and protects the skin during its long immersion in amniotic fluid. It also eases delivery. The baby's swallowing more this week, good practice for the digestive system. After your baby takes in amniotic fluid, its body absorbs the water in the liquid and moves the rest into the large bowel.

Here are the 20 week bump pictures and measurements.

Now...



...before.



Measurements:

Weight = 12st 9lb (+14lbs) - WHAT!
Tummy = 96cm (+2.5cm)
Upper arm = 29cm
Upper leg = 63cm (+2cm)
Ankle = 24cm (+.5cm)
Neck = 33cm (+.5cm)

I'm not too keen on doing the measurements, but I've started so I'll finish.

One think I love about my growing size are my boobs! I want to keep them please. They are full and actually have some shape to them. Please stay boobs.

I did a video diary for a change. It's about 8 minutes long but I talk constantly so it passes quite quickly.

HEARTBEAT - 17 WEEKS, 4 DAYS

I have to rewind slightly as I realised I haven't posted the video of when we heard the heartbeat.

The appointment was on Friday 30th September and Leo, Ellis and Rob came along too. It was really nice being there as a family.

I had my blood pressure done and I was told that I didn't need to give any blood as I had had an Oscar scan so the blood screening wasn't necessary. Then I laid on the bed and after a few seconds we heard the little squishy noise of Nugget's heart.

Last night I'm pretty sure I felt some movement. It was more like a kick actually but I haven't felt anything yet today. Rubbish!

Went to my physio appointment yesterday. She was really pleased with my muscle tone and said they were very strong but that the split in my tummy muscles would happen again and that we just needed to keep an eye on it. I have my exercises to do and for now I don't have to wear my stretchy bandage. If I have any pain I have to put it on and book an earlier appointment. My next appointment is the end of November when I am 25 weeks. By then my uterus will be pushing up past my belly button which is where the stretch is measured from. She was quite pleased though which made me happy.

Okay then so here are the 16 week bump picture. Take into account that Ellis took the bump picture this time.

I have also put my current measurements and what I was last time. The "from Leo" means an increase or decrease from the same stage as Leo pregnancy.

This time...

Weight = 12st 4lbs (+8lbs from Leo) (+9lbs this pregnancy) SHIT!

Tummy = 93.5cm (+2.5cm from Leo)
Upper arm = 29cm (+2cm from Leo)
Upper leg = 61cm (+2cm from Leo)
Ankle = 24cm (.5cm from Leo)
Neck = 34cm (1.5cm from Leo

Leo Pregnancy...

Weight = 11st 10lb (+4lbs)

Tummy = 91cm (+6cm)
Upper arm = 27cm
Upper leg = 59cm (+2cm)
Ankle = 23.5cm
Neck = 32.5cm

I'm not worried about the increased measurements. My starting weight was a lot higher than second time around and I didn't control my eating for the first 4 months this time either so I'm not surprised. My appetite has diminished in recent days and I'm starting to eat healthier. Better late than never I suppose.

Hoping to feel more movements in the next few days. Will post an entry if I do.