So anyway on Tuesday I had an appointment at the hospital to see a registrar to discuss my options of birth. I knew I just wanted to have the most active and natural birth that was possible for me within their hospital policies. Just before I left for the appointment I had a chat with Judith (my midwife) who was taking the breastfeeding antenatal class and she said that they would scan me that day if they weren't sure what way up the baby was.
I picked Mum up and went to the hospital. When we arrived we were told there was a delay to see the doctor and the waiting room was full up. I said I really needed to pee so if I needed to do a wee sample, could I do it now please. To start with she said, "just go to the loo now and have a drink after" but I said I'll just do it now. She eventually looked into it and a midwife came out to take me down to do the wee sample. She also took my blood pressure and weighed me. While she was doing all this I was just chatting away but happened to mention that I wanted a scan to see how the baby was lying. First thing she said was "you wouldn't need to know if you're having a c-section". Of course I soon put her straight and said that I thought it was a waste of time me talking through my options if they were actually limited anyway. She said she couldn't authorise the scan and that the registrar would palpate me and get me scanned if they weren't sure. I was okay with that but still said it could save time to do it first.
On my way back to the waiting room I overheard her talking to someone else about my case and 2 minutes after sitting down I was called in for a scan as I was told the doctor wouldn't have time to palpate me because they were so far behind.
Just before the wand was put on my belly the sonographer asked what position I thought he was in and when she looked she said I was dead right. The placenta is at the very top of bump, his head is up on my left side, back running across the top with bum down on the right and legs and hands are right down in my pelvis area. She did some measurements and estimated his current weight at 5lbs 13oz, checked the fluid level which was good and we had a look at the cord. She said there was lots of cord and that it wasn't around his neck, all of which are good signs for trying to turn the little bugger around. Here is a picture of what position he is in, pretty much anyway, including where the placenta is.
I went back to the waiting room, called Rob, then had a long wait to see the doctor. Time passed quite quickly but I was in a right mood. Pissed off, scared, annoyed, nervous, worried etc etc. We were called in by a young female doctor who immediately started off by saying about getting me booked in for a section. Hold up, wait a minute! I explained what had happened with the scan and that I was very keen to try an ECV. She asked why I didn't want a section and said they wouldn't be keen to do an ECV on someone who had had a previous section. I said I know that but would they please do it. She said she would have to speak to her boss about it and so she left the room.
She returned not long after with her boss in tow who was the man we had seen at the beginning of the pregnancy that said I should have my blood pressure taken every 2 weeks, from 20 weeks of pregnancy! Anyway, he started on about the risks and that they wouldn't want to do it and that he wouldn't do one and neither would Mr McCloud who was the main dude and the man I had seen for treatment after having Leo. That did scare me a bit but he said he would ring around and try and find someone but that it might not be at that hospital. I was fine with that. The risks are that my scar will be stretched and torn open causing me to bleed out. You also have the usual risks of the placenta coming away from the wall and fetal distress. Basically if any of that happens I would be taken straight into surgery and he would be taken out.
So he went out and came back in saying that he had found someone, a Dr S Grant who would do the ECV in 2 weeks time as he was on holiday the following week. Most ECVs need to be done in week 37 and I'll be in week 38 but I can't complain really. So I'm booked in to have it done on 1st March. I have to call the delivery suite in the morning between 8 and 9am and they will tell me what time to come in. I'm not allowed anything to eat from 6am and I should be having it done around 12pm but that all depends on how busy they are. If successful I have to stay on delivery suite for 3 hours before I can go home. If unsuccessful then I will be booked in for a c-section for the following week and if there are any problems then I will be having a baby there and then! I have to take all my stuff with me but leave it in the car. My blue V pillow is coming in with me though.
I left feeling rather flustered obviously and not sure what I was doing. Mum was a bit unsure about my decision too but all I could think of was that I didn't want a c-section so any alternative, I will take. So the decision was made for me and thankfully because I seemed to be well informed according to the 2 doctors they were happy to discuss it all with me. I think if I didn't know anything they would have just booked me in and that would be that. I was asked why I was so against having a c-section by the doctors and friends and it's not that I'm against them as such and that I want to have this au natural birthing experience, it's a case of I have 2, then 3 children to look after, I need to drive, if I have any more children it would automatically mean a c-section, it's major abdominal surgery which comes with risks, I didn't recover well from my previous section, and if I could have a normal birth I would prefer it.
Obviously it has really done my head in. I'm so confused and worried about whether or not I'm doing the right thing, should I just cave in and book in for a section, should I just try the ECV anyway as I've fought for it and tons more thoughts. I'm really not looking forward to the actual experience of having the ECV done but if it works out how great would that be. I'm just really struggling with being positive, being in the now, having a whatever attitude, all the things that I have preached to friends. I've had so many people say to me that as long as baby is alright that's all that matters, what will be will be, and that it wouldn't be that bad having a section and of course I know this but that doesn't change the way I feel right now. I know it could be worse and I feel so stupid sometimes that I'm moaning on about it when I have friends that have lost babies, would do anything to get and stay pregnant and here I am fussing about how it's coming out.
My thoughts have been taken over with the position of this baby and ECV. If it is successful I will quickly have to turn my head back around and start thinking about preparing myself for labour and birth. If not then I have to come to terms with how it will end up. It's the not knowing and waiting that is driving me crazy. I know 2/4 weeks isn't that long but it certainly feels like it at the moment.
I'll try and do another post in a few days with how I'm feeling then but for now I'm feeling pretty down. I need to snap out of it I know and be positive, happy and excited but it just isn't happening at the moment. Thank you to all my friends who have been trying to keep my chin up. I'm a tough cookie and will be fine I'm sure.
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