SICKY BAD - 38 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

I'm ill. I'm feeling very sorry for myself and very worried about going through major surgery feeling like this. My head and ears are pounding, nose is blocked and I keep coughing. I can only imagine the pain I will feel when I cough with stitches running across my belly.

I'm trying to spend my days bonding with baby. Picturing his little face, hands, feet etc and thinking of a name for him. I haven't come up with any yet. I just want to get him here safe and well. I'm a bit worried about his feet and hips but nothing I can do about that yet. Hips will be scanned like Ellis' were and the feet are still moving so hopefully they haven't been squished.

Bump is still wriggling but not moving as such, and never really has done.

Rob is ill too but he is doing his best to look after us all. It must be hard going to be working so far away and then to come home feeling rough and wanting to chill when you have other sick people and hectic kids to contend with. Ellis is really on one today!

Stacey had her baby boy yesterday. He is a little cutie at 5lb 12oz. They named him Leo Charles.

Very teary at the moment but that's because I'm feeling so rough and I HATE being ill, especially when there is stuff that needs to be done and a huge event coming up like having a baby to look after! It's not just the new baby either, I need to make sure my boys are all okay with it too. Need to make a list of final stuff that needs to be done. I want to sort my hospital bags out again as I don't need them set up for going through labour and to just check I'm happy with everything really.

I'm just really worried and scared about everything at the moment. Don't feel like I'm coping too well. Just need some positive thoughts to snap out of it.