IT'S NOT WORKING!

I don't think putting people off the scent is actually working.

Met up with my Mummy group on Friday night and I mentioned about Sharon having another one and she said that she thought it would more likely be me and then Charlotte started to say that she thinks I will still have another, even though I have said I wont. She doesn't believe me. None of them would be surprised if we had another. They would all think we were completely mental though.

I think my parents are also not so sure. They both keep dropping hints into conversations about Leo being the last baby in the family etc. We will see, he might be as we haven't definitely decided yet.

I so need to start getting myself fit and ready. The diet starts again tomorrow and I'm hoping to go to circuit training on Wednesday but I'm actually starting to think that that may be a bit too much to start with and perhaps I should try something a little calmer to start with. Mainly because my pelvis still isn't that great and my stomach muscles from the diastase recti are dodgy too. Not sure.

If we were going to plan to have a similar age gap to Leo and Ellis we would need to start trying around 1st June. So that is the date. I would need to start folic acid and come off my pill 3 months before that. Also I am still breast feeding 3/4 times a day so my periods haven't come back yet, not sure what to do about that. Although saying that, this week I had some funny discharge and I have been having a lot of cramping pains and bad back etc so maybe I'm having a period but with nothing to show for it. I kind of remember that happening last time. I may start to give Leo a bottle for 1 feed and see if that makes any difference. I don't really want them to come back but I would be good to know that my body is working okay etc.

I enjoy keeping a diary. It's nice to get rid of some of these secret thoughts. I'm so excited and always planning in my head for it all, how will I tell people?, how long could I keep it secret?, would I find out what sex it is?, how long will it take to conceive this time?, will everything go smoothly like Ellis and Leo?, so many questions!

We haven't spoken about it again since Christmas and I don't know how Rob feels about it all at the moment. He hasn't mentioned it and he did say that "if" we are going to do it, we should just get on with it. What does that mean? Now or later?

A few days ago I did ask him if he wanted to have another child with me. He said that he did. I wanted to make sure he wouldn't just do it for me as I would hate to think that he wasn't 100% happy with the idea. It's a HUGE commitment.

Time will tell.

OFF THE SCENT

The other night Rob was talking to his friend Huw about having another baby. He basically said we were seriously thinking about it and that we would have an Oscar Scan this time. I will post about this later on.

Not feeling scared about it now actually. Feeling rather excited about the prospect of adding to our family.

Recently I have started to put people off the scent that we will have any more children. Mainly my Mum and close friends as I would like to surprise them. I've told Mum that Rob and I talked about it over Christmas and have decided not to have any more. I even went as far to say that I was thinking of getting rid of the baby stuff in the loft etc.

I haven't managed to get my weight down yet and still have 1/2 a stone to go. I'm not really trying that hard yet though. Need to get on with it and start some fitness too. I was talking to Charlotte today at Mummy afternoon and I think I may try and go to circuit training on a Wednesday night. Will look into that.

My periods haven't returned yet and I suppose that's because I'm still feeding Leo about 4 times a day. I feel like they should though. I get hot flushes and aches and pains in all the right places and I'm quite sure I get mood swings and spots once a month, although Rob would argue I always have mood swings.

I want to try and keep these entries short and sweet so that when I tell people about the new blog, they wont have too much to read back on. Not that any of my friends will have any time or interest in reading back through it.

I'm not putting myself under any pressure to keep up to date with this blog either. I might not even share it and just keep it as a private diary. I'll think about it.

I so know that I want more kids. Yeh it's well hard work and some days I have no idea what I am doing but I do love it and I'm sure it will be easier as they get older. Obviously the teenage years are tricky but I can do it. I do not want to wish the time away, it will go soon enough.