4 years ago
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Monday, 9 January 2012
ME
My period returned this morning. It explains a lot. It came back at around the same time with Leo, but he was only having one feed a day and he missed it once and I came on the next day. Oscar still has 2 sometimes 3 feeds a day so I wasn't expecting it back just yet. It's good and bad. Nice to know that my body is working towards normality and but horrid to have to put up with them.
When I say it explains a few things, I've been feeling rather moody, teary, a bit crampy and just generally a bit down lately. My skin is quite bad and I even said to Mum the other day that I think it was coming soon so I wasn't surprised at all.
I'm at a bit of a strange point in my life actually. Since 2006 I've either been planning, trying or actually pregnant and at the moment I'm not doing any of those things. It is on my mind a lot and I know I'm a bit mental but I think I would be up for having more children, one day. Before I turn 35 anyway. Rob isn't keen, and I mean not keen as in he doesn't want any more so there isn't anything I can do about that I wouldn't pressure him in to having any more either as that wouldn't be fair.
I really sat and thought about this the other day. Do I really want more children? I mean really? I thought about all the negative aspects and tried very hard to put me off of my wacky idea but I just ended up saying (in my head that is) shit! I really do want more. So many what'ifs though and lots of negatives. I know I should just be happy with what I've got and I am but still...
I'm having trouble with sleep at the moment. I'm tired, but can't go to sleep, and then when I do I'm not sleeping soundly and I get up in the mornings feeling unwell. This morning was particularly bad and I felt drunk. I was so bad that I even went back to bed once Oscar went back to bed. Rob got up and fed Leo but then I had to get up 20 minutes later anyway. I'm on strict instructions tonight to be upstairs by 10pm and I'm allowed to read in bed. I'm actually quite looking forward to it, especially as I've just finished a mammoth blog entry that was playing on my mind.
This blog has really had to take a back seat. Poor baba Oscar. I haven't even done monthly updates properly and he is 10 months old tomorrow! I will do a video diary entry and try to get a face picture but he moves around so much! Just like Leo did. He is a total mixture of the 2 boys and I love him sooooo much!
I still have a long way to go to lose my baby weight. I haven't even tried yet which is a shame as I'm pretty sure with a bit of effort I could get it off, feel better, buy some new clothes, be happier and more confident about myself. I'm just not there yet. I'm not ready. I think I need to wean Oscar fully first and get my body back totally and then maybe that will give me more motivation. I haven't weighed for a long time. My target is 11st 7lbs and last time I weighted I was 12st 2lb. That was before Christmas.
Right off now but hope to do a proper update soon.
When I say it explains a few things, I've been feeling rather moody, teary, a bit crampy and just generally a bit down lately. My skin is quite bad and I even said to Mum the other day that I think it was coming soon so I wasn't surprised at all.
I'm at a bit of a strange point in my life actually. Since 2006 I've either been planning, trying or actually pregnant and at the moment I'm not doing any of those things. It is on my mind a lot and I know I'm a bit mental but I think I would be up for having more children, one day. Before I turn 35 anyway. Rob isn't keen, and I mean not keen as in he doesn't want any more so there isn't anything I can do about that I wouldn't pressure him in to having any more either as that wouldn't be fair.
I really sat and thought about this the other day. Do I really want more children? I mean really? I thought about all the negative aspects and tried very hard to put me off of my wacky idea but I just ended up saying (in my head that is) shit! I really do want more. So many what'ifs though and lots of negatives. I know I should just be happy with what I've got and I am but still...
I'm having trouble with sleep at the moment. I'm tired, but can't go to sleep, and then when I do I'm not sleeping soundly and I get up in the mornings feeling unwell. This morning was particularly bad and I felt drunk. I was so bad that I even went back to bed once Oscar went back to bed. Rob got up and fed Leo but then I had to get up 20 minutes later anyway. I'm on strict instructions tonight to be upstairs by 10pm and I'm allowed to read in bed. I'm actually quite looking forward to it, especially as I've just finished a mammoth blog entry that was playing on my mind.
This blog has really had to take a back seat. Poor baba Oscar. I haven't even done monthly updates properly and he is 10 months old tomorrow! I will do a video diary entry and try to get a face picture but he moves around so much! Just like Leo did. He is a total mixture of the 2 boys and I love him sooooo much!
I still have a long way to go to lose my baby weight. I haven't even tried yet which is a shame as I'm pretty sure with a bit of effort I could get it off, feel better, buy some new clothes, be happier and more confident about myself. I'm just not there yet. I'm not ready. I think I need to wean Oscar fully first and get my body back totally and then maybe that will give me more motivation. I haven't weighed for a long time. My target is 11st 7lbs and last time I weighted I was 12st 2lb. That was before Christmas.
Right off now but hope to do a proper update soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
