4 years ago
Friday, 13 April 2012
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Oscar is 1!
Oscar's one! I find myself in a very strange place at the moment. My baby is no longer my baby and since 2006 we've either been planning to get pregnant, pregnant or breastfeeding a baby. I feel mixed emotions and rather confused at times. I should just be really happy that I have 3 gorgeous and so far healthy boys and that my life couldn't really be any better. But I want more. Is that wrong? I quarrel with myself all the time. I think I'm one of these people that just can't be happy with what I have. I'm always looking for the next thing. I am really struggling at the moment, coming to terms with the fact that I'm nearly 33, I will never be pregnant again, never experience child birth, have a new baby, never having a daughter, etc etc.
Having another baby would just change things too much and I don't think it would be a really good idea but I want one. I think if I'm totally honest with myself, it's probably just because I want the chance of having a little girl in the brood. Do I really want this though or is it just because of how my Mum goes on about it? We would probably have another boy anyway and I certainly couldn't keep going just for a girl and I'm not about to head to Spain for any medical procedures to make sure of it either.
I know I say this a lot but I can't believe how quickly life is slipping by. I've been getting quite upset about it, which is totally stupid as I can't do anything about it and it's totally wasting my time!, but I can't help it. My boys are going up so fast and I feel like I'm missing things, not taking it in or remembering it. It really saddens me that I haven't kept up with the blogs as I use these as my memories, rather than having to actually remember it! Rob has been making things worse too by going on about our age, and that his speech at our wedding when he said "the best is yet to come", has actually come and gone! Going travelling and having children was as good as it is going to get. I totally agree that these things are the most amazing things ever but I feel like there is so much more to look forward to yet. Family holidays, days out and maybe one day travelling together.
I'm such a lucky person. I wish I could sit back, relax and just wallow in all the love I get. I was having cuddles with Ellis this morning and he loves it and I said I'm going to try and get as many cuddles as I can now because when he is older with his own wife and kids, he won't want to hug me any more. He then gave me a huge hug and said "I will always want to hug you Mummy, forever." I squeezed him a little tighter as a tear rolled down my cheek. I will be reminding him of this moment for many years to come ;o)
Enough of that. Lets get back to Baba. Remember that was what he was called for about 2 weeks! How crazy that we couldn't name him. Poor thing.
What a year! I knew having 3 young boys would be a challenge, but wow! It's pretty chaotic, noisy and constant work but I do love it. Not all of it obviously. I would love more hours in the day and more energy in my body and mind to get more things done but it is what it is.
I haven't really looked back over this year. After Leo was born I often looked at pictures and videos from his birth but this time I suppose it wasn't what I wanted and not really the best experience in the world and I've just been too busy as you can tell from the lack of blogs!
Anyway, around Christmas 2009, Rob suggested (just after the picture below was taken) that having another with a similar age gap, would be a nice idea and so once Leo turned one, it took us 2 months of "trying" to get pregnant again.
I went from this...
to this...
.jpg)
then this...
...and finally this.
After it was discovered that the little bugger was breech, I went in to have a ECV (External cephalic version.) to turn him around. They wouldn't even attempt it as his cord was around his neck so I was booked in for a c-section on the 10th March.
After some trouble getting me numbed up, and what seemed liked forever, he was born! I can't find what time he was born! I need to get that. You can read the full birth story here.
After a short time in recovery we made it to the ward where we were in the bed opposite the bed I was in with Leo.
Rob came in with the boys but we didn't manage to get a full family picture as it was quite hectic and they didn't stay long, sadly.
Again I had to stay in hospital for a number of days to treat an unknown infection in Baba. It's almost a blessing in disguise though as I got to rest and recover which was the best thing for me because as soon as I got home it was mental!
Just arrived home and Leo is licking everyone!
I again tried to take monthly pictures of my baby which I pretty much managed but diary entries are few and far between unfortunately. Here they are.
This is Leo at 1.
And Ellis at 1.
The boys
I love my boys so much I could burst. They are my life, and always will be. Love you babas. xxx
Oscar is doing really well. He has been poorly recently with a horrid tummy bug and his eating hasn't really picked up again yet. I've been really bad with his food and I need to sort that out, sharpish. This is something that is important so I know I need to make a bigger effort.
He stopped breastfeeding at the end of February so he, and I did really well with that. I'm not impressed with my post breastfeeding boobs but hopefully hubby will one day agree for me to go under the knife.
Oscar took one step on Friday, towards Saskia who was here for a little tea party to celebrate his birthday. He really isn't that bothered about trying to walk yet and is still building up his confidence. I'm not in any rush for him to be walking.
He has received some lovely gifts and plenty of lovely cards for his 1st birthday. It didn't quite go as planned as he was ill and I had to cancel his 2 parties that I had planned. Never mind, he can have one next year instead.
He is generally a good little boy. Quite happy to sit in a buggy and highchair (although has recently started screaming at me), and happily potters about at home, until he is hungry or tired and he lets you know. He also lets you know when his nappy needs changing. He can be quite happily playing then he comes to find me and does a different type of cry, by which time I can smell him! Pretty cool.
He is really observant and spends a lot of time watching the others and trying to take it all in. He smiles quite a lot and he and Leo are really starting to form a lovely friendship. Leo squashes him a lot and Oscar pulls clumps of Leo's hair out but mainly they crawl up and down making each other laugh.
He still wears 9-12 month clothes which is amazing really and even one set of pyjamas are 6-9 months which is very strange as he isn't a small baby. Still in 4+ nappies and I have no idea how much he weighs. I'll try and do that tomorrow. I have no idea how much I weigh either. I really haven't tried very hard to get back in shape this time, and it shows.
His hair still hasn't really grown that much. It is pretty blonde at the roots but quite orange on the ends so still not really sure what colour it will turn out. I'm hoping when it gets its first cut the orange will go and he will be similar to Leo.
He naps well, having one big nap of about 3 hours or 2 of the equivalent time and pretty much sleeps through from 7 til 7 if the other 2 don't wake him up first. He quite happily plays in his bed too which is always good.
He is still a windy baby! If I don't get a good burp out of him after his last bottle before bed, then I could end up walking around with him a few times a night trying to get one up. Not good. It's been happening a lot recently and I've taken to feeding him earlier, then letting him play for a bit to get it up, rather than putting him straight to bed.
He has 8 teeth fully out and 2 more poking through and he hasn't handled it that well. He does seem to struggle with it. Be glad when they are all through.
Not really sure I have anything else to say about my Baba. Any questions? He is a sweet baby who is a good boy and not really any trouble. He does pull hair which is not good but hopefully he will just grow out of that.
Its only taken me 4 evenings to do this entry! Love it though.
Having another baby would just change things too much and I don't think it would be a really good idea but I want one. I think if I'm totally honest with myself, it's probably just because I want the chance of having a little girl in the brood. Do I really want this though or is it just because of how my Mum goes on about it? We would probably have another boy anyway and I certainly couldn't keep going just for a girl and I'm not about to head to Spain for any medical procedures to make sure of it either.
I know I say this a lot but I can't believe how quickly life is slipping by. I've been getting quite upset about it, which is totally stupid as I can't do anything about it and it's totally wasting my time!, but I can't help it. My boys are going up so fast and I feel like I'm missing things, not taking it in or remembering it. It really saddens me that I haven't kept up with the blogs as I use these as my memories, rather than having to actually remember it! Rob has been making things worse too by going on about our age, and that his speech at our wedding when he said "the best is yet to come", has actually come and gone! Going travelling and having children was as good as it is going to get. I totally agree that these things are the most amazing things ever but I feel like there is so much more to look forward to yet. Family holidays, days out and maybe one day travelling together.
I'm such a lucky person. I wish I could sit back, relax and just wallow in all the love I get. I was having cuddles with Ellis this morning and he loves it and I said I'm going to try and get as many cuddles as I can now because when he is older with his own wife and kids, he won't want to hug me any more. He then gave me a huge hug and said "I will always want to hug you Mummy, forever." I squeezed him a little tighter as a tear rolled down my cheek. I will be reminding him of this moment for many years to come ;o)
Enough of that. Lets get back to Baba. Remember that was what he was called for about 2 weeks! How crazy that we couldn't name him. Poor thing.
What a year! I knew having 3 young boys would be a challenge, but wow! It's pretty chaotic, noisy and constant work but I do love it. Not all of it obviously. I would love more hours in the day and more energy in my body and mind to get more things done but it is what it is.
I haven't really looked back over this year. After Leo was born I often looked at pictures and videos from his birth but this time I suppose it wasn't what I wanted and not really the best experience in the world and I've just been too busy as you can tell from the lack of blogs!
Anyway, around Christmas 2009, Rob suggested (just after the picture below was taken) that having another with a similar age gap, would be a nice idea and so once Leo turned one, it took us 2 months of "trying" to get pregnant again.
I went from this...
 |
| 0 weeks |
to this...
 |
| 12 weeks |
.jpg)
 |
| 20 weeks |
...and finally this.
 |
| 39 weeks |
After it was discovered that the little bugger was breech, I went in to have a ECV (External cephalic version.) to turn him around. They wouldn't even attempt it as his cord was around his neck so I was booked in for a c-section on the 10th March.
 |
| Still the wrong way around! |
 |
| Final bump pic! |
After some trouble getting me numbed up, and what seemed liked forever, he was born! I can't find what time he was born! I need to get that. You can read the full birth story here.
After a short time in recovery we made it to the ward where we were in the bed opposite the bed I was in with Leo.
Rob came in with the boys but we didn't manage to get a full family picture as it was quite hectic and they didn't stay long, sadly.
Again I had to stay in hospital for a number of days to treat an unknown infection in Baba. It's almost a blessing in disguise though as I got to rest and recover which was the best thing for me because as soon as I got home it was mental!
Just arrived home and Leo is licking everyone!
 |
| Family of 5! |
I again tried to take monthly pictures of my baby which I pretty much managed but diary entries are few and far between unfortunately. Here they are.
This is Leo at 1.
And Ellis at 1.
The boys
I love my boys so much I could burst. They are my life, and always will be. Love you babas. xxx
Oscar is doing really well. He has been poorly recently with a horrid tummy bug and his eating hasn't really picked up again yet. I've been really bad with his food and I need to sort that out, sharpish. This is something that is important so I know I need to make a bigger effort.
He stopped breastfeeding at the end of February so he, and I did really well with that. I'm not impressed with my post breastfeeding boobs but hopefully hubby will one day agree for me to go under the knife.
Oscar took one step on Friday, towards Saskia who was here for a little tea party to celebrate his birthday. He really isn't that bothered about trying to walk yet and is still building up his confidence. I'm not in any rush for him to be walking.
He has received some lovely gifts and plenty of lovely cards for his 1st birthday. It didn't quite go as planned as he was ill and I had to cancel his 2 parties that I had planned. Never mind, he can have one next year instead.
He is generally a good little boy. Quite happy to sit in a buggy and highchair (although has recently started screaming at me), and happily potters about at home, until he is hungry or tired and he lets you know. He also lets you know when his nappy needs changing. He can be quite happily playing then he comes to find me and does a different type of cry, by which time I can smell him! Pretty cool.
He is really observant and spends a lot of time watching the others and trying to take it all in. He smiles quite a lot and he and Leo are really starting to form a lovely friendship. Leo squashes him a lot and Oscar pulls clumps of Leo's hair out but mainly they crawl up and down making each other laugh.
He still wears 9-12 month clothes which is amazing really and even one set of pyjamas are 6-9 months which is very strange as he isn't a small baby. Still in 4+ nappies and I have no idea how much he weighs. I'll try and do that tomorrow. I have no idea how much I weigh either. I really haven't tried very hard to get back in shape this time, and it shows.
His hair still hasn't really grown that much. It is pretty blonde at the roots but quite orange on the ends so still not really sure what colour it will turn out. I'm hoping when it gets its first cut the orange will go and he will be similar to Leo.
He naps well, having one big nap of about 3 hours or 2 of the equivalent time and pretty much sleeps through from 7 til 7 if the other 2 don't wake him up first. He quite happily plays in his bed too which is always good.
He is still a windy baby! If I don't get a good burp out of him after his last bottle before bed, then I could end up walking around with him a few times a night trying to get one up. Not good. It's been happening a lot recently and I've taken to feeding him earlier, then letting him play for a bit to get it up, rather than putting him straight to bed.
He has 8 teeth fully out and 2 more poking through and he hasn't handled it that well. He does seem to struggle with it. Be glad when they are all through.
Not really sure I have anything else to say about my Baba. Any questions? He is a sweet baby who is a good boy and not really any trouble. He does pull hair which is not good but hopefully he will just grow out of that.
Its only taken me 4 evenings to do this entry! Love it though.
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